Stablers in Private
by Foreword
Summary: A private look at the home life of the family of Elliot and Kathy Stabler, in more depth than is shown on the television show.
1. Chapter 1

Stabler Than Ever

He was trying his best to be quiet, but Kathy heard him as soon as he walked in the house. She rolled over to look at the bedside clock; 2:10 am. When he called earlier, he'd thought he'd be able to wrap things up by midnight. She lay on her back, gradually coming awake as she listened to him open the refrigerator, pour a drink and put the glass in the dishwasher. She smiled to herself. The old Elliot would have left the glass on the counter or the table, on a good day, he would have put it in the sink, but never in the dishwasher. Since they'd reconciled last year, they'd both been extra careful to be more considerate and thoughtful.

She felt rather than heard him come into the bedroom and slip into the master bathroom. Without turning on the light, he undressed and made his way to the bed. As he carefully slipped under the covers on his side, she heard him sigh. It had been a long day. He settled in, on his side, with his back to her. She waited for a moment, then slid over closer and pressed her lips to his warm, bare shoulder. Elliot always slept in boxers and nothing else, regardless of the temperature outside.

"Hey," he whispered, rolling over onto his back and pulling her close, so her head lay on his shoulder. She could feel the tension in his muscles. "Did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet."

"You were fine," she said, burrowing in closer to his solid warmth. "I was waiting for you to come home."

"Oh yeah?" he murmured, tipping her chin up and planting a soft kiss on her lips. "And why is that?"

"I missed you." She said simply and kissed him back. There was nothing soft about her kiss, it was a kiss that made it clear what she wanted. He kissed her back, matching her urgency.

"It's late," he w hispered, his lips against her check. "Aren't you exhausted?"

In reply, she pushed at his chest until he was lying flat against the pillows, and then raised herself up r until she was on t op of him, straddling his hips She was wearing one of his t-shirts and nothing else. Her pajama bottoms had been abandoned on the side of the bed earlier, in preparation for his return. She felt him grow hard beneath her. She slid forward until she was lying flat, his erection pressing into her belly.

"Kath" he groaned, twisting his hands in her shoulder length hair and pulling her face to his. "Oh, Kath…" she silenced him with another kiss, then made her way down his body , planting small moist kisses as shemoved: his neck, his collarbone, a quick lick of one nipple. When she slid his boxers down and took him into her mouth, he groaned again.

When she sensed he was close to letting go, she raised herself up . She pulled the t-shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor, then raised her hips until she was poised over his erect penis. As she slowly slid down the length of him, he asked in a hoarse whisper "Are we ok…are you…protected?"

Having had five children over the course of their twenty year marriage, the last less than a year ago, being "protected" was of high concern to both of them. Their firm adherence to their Catholic religion prevented them from taking any permanent steps to prevent pregnancy, but another child would add more stress to a marriage that had already been through the wringer.

"All ok," she assured him. She had put her diaphragm in before going to bed. With him deep inside her, she sat up straight and began to rock, slowly at first and then increasing the tempo. Elliot reached up and caressed her breasts until he let out a loud groan and grabbed her hips, holding her still as he plunged deep inside her and finished.

They lay together in silence for a minute, both breathing heavily and lost in their own physical reactions. When he regained his breath, Elliot slid her off him to lay at his side. He nuzzled her neck and breasts as he caressed the slick spot between her legs, alternating light touch with a firmer stroke. If there was one advantage to a twenty year marriage, it was plenty of time to learn what worked to please each other. She came with a long, breathy sigh. Years of raising small children had taught them both to enjoy their pleasures quietly.

"You're amazing, Kath" he whispered into her ear a few minutes later, as both dressed again, he wrapped himself around her from behind in a spooning position. "You never fail to surprise me."

She turned to face him as best she could from her side. "I want you to always look forward to coming home." She whispered back. She felt tears against her neck as he snuggled in tighter. Before the separation and reconciliation, there was a long period when Elliot coming home was unpleasant for both of them. She was stressed out from raising four children by herself, angry and resentful at the long hours Elliot's job demanded. She hated worrying about his safety. Elliot dreaded coming home, exhausted and wanting only to relax, to be met at the door with a list of ways he had yet again disappointed her. It had taken time, distance, a life altering case and an unexpected pregnancy for them to realize that they both needed to make changes because they wanted and needed to be together.

"I love you, Els." She murmured, pulling his arms closer around her. "I love you." Els was the nickname she used for him only when they were alone,in their most intimate moments. He was Elliot the rest of the time. His partner, Olivia, called him El, which made Kathy smile inside. Like everything else with Olivia, it was close but no cigar. Kathy had resented Olivia's relationship with her husband for a long time, found it hard to accept that he had no sexual feelings for a woman so attractive and that he spent so much time with. It was one of the issues they had focused on most in the six months of marriage counseling while she was pregnant with Elliot Jr, little, precious Eli, the child that brought them back together. Kathy now understood that the bond between Elliot and Olivia was of no threat to their relationship and was actually becoming good friends with his partner.

As they drifted off to sleep, a plaintive wail drifted down the hall. Eli had been sleeping his own room for a few weeks now, but he invariably woke up at least once during the night, wanting reassurance that his parents were still there. Kathy started to get out of bed, but Elliot pushed her gently back into her pillow.

"I'll get him," he assured her. "I hardly saw him today, I'll get him."

"Thanks, Els" she said, as she burrowed into her pillow and let sleep claim her. Yet another thing the old Elliot never would have done. He worked to support them; the children were her responsibility. She was always the one who got up with the kids at night. She drifted off to sleep to the low sounds of Elliot singing to the baby to comfort him back to sleep.

Yes, the Stablers were going to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

Elliot woke up the next morning to the sounds of his children in the kitchen. There was a rhythmic banging that could only be Eli in his highchair, pounding something on the tray as he loved to do, and people talking in the background.. He stretched, and looked at the clock. 7:30! He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept this late. Normally he was the one who got up with Eli when he woke at the butt crack of dawn, so Kathy could have another hour or so to sleep before he left for work. He hadn't even heard the little guy this morning; he must have been really tired. As he mentally reviewed the events of the night before, he smiled to himself. The last thing he'd expected when he got home two hours late was Kathy to be waiting up for him and in the mood for sex. Things had certainly changed in their relationship.

He dug a pair of sweatpants out of his dresser, pulled them on and walked out to the kitchen. As expected, Eli was in his high chair, with 15 yr old Dickie at his side, supplying him with cheerios which Eli then smashed with his sippy cup. Lizzie, Dickie's twin, was simultaneously eating a bowl of cereal and texting on her cell phone. Kathy stood, leaning against the counter, holding a mug of coffee and smiling at Eli's determined efforts to annihilate the cereal. Elliot's stomach did a little flip flop as he thought about how close he had come to losing all of this, how he had almost let Kathy leave the year before.

"Hey," he said, walking over to his wife and pulling her close for a long kiss. "Good morning." They shared a smile that brought back a little of the heat of the night before.

"Gross" said Dickie, as he handed his brother a fresh supply of Cheerios. The comment was undercut by the smile his son couldn't quite hide. The whole family was happier now that their parents had found some peace in their relationship.

Eli squealed and held up h is arms when he saw his father. Elliot scooped him out of his high chair and walked around the table to sit next to Lizzie. "Hey, Sweetie" he said, ruffling her hair as she went by.

"Hey Dad" she replied, straightening her hair without taking her eyes off her phone. She finished typing and flipped the phone shut. "What are you doing home this late? You're usually gone before we get up."

"I have court today, but it's not until later this morning." Replied Elliot, nibbling at a piece of cereal Eli was pushing into his mouth. He turned to his wife. "I didn't even hear Eli this morning, I'm sorry you had to get up."

"He actually slept in," she said, placing a cup of black coffee on the table, just out of the baby's reach. "I was up before he was."

"Really?" Elliot looked closely at his small son, perched on his lap and smiling up at him, a fistful of Cheerios in each hand. "Don't tell me you're gonna start keeping human hours, little man." Eli gurgled noncommittally.

Elliot sipped his coffee, content to be here with the people that mattered most in his life. They'd been through some tough times, but everything was going great now. Maureen and Kathleen, their two oldest daughters, were out on their own and sharing an apartment. The twins had started high school this year and were adjusting well. Dickie seemed to have left behind the rebellious period he was going through when his parents were separated, and Lizzie was coming out of the introspective mode she'd retreated in reaction to the chaos around her.

"What's going on today?" he asked Kathy. She had taken the seat across from him and was eating a piece of toast. She didn't bother offering anything to Elliot, she knew that he wasn't a breakfast person, wanting nothing but black coffee until he'd been up for a few hours.

"This little guy has a check-up at 11" she said, reaching over to pat Eli on the cheek.

"Why don't I go with you?" said Elliot, moving Eli to the other side of his lap so he was further away from the cup of coffee he was now trying to reach. "And then we can grab some lunch before I have to be in court?"

"That sounds great," said Kathy. They smiled at each other like teenagers until Dickie interrupted with a question.

"What case do you have to testify for in court?" he asked.

Elliot shrugged. He hated to talk about his work in front of the children. As a detective in the Special Victims Unit, he routinely saw the worst parts of human beings. His son didn't need to know about the teenaged girl, only a year old than his twins, whose murder he'd investigated last year. Dickie didn't need to know that she'd been sexually abused by her step-father, and then strangled to death when she threatened to tell the school nurse if he didn't stop. "Just a case from last year." Said Elliot. "Nothing very interesting."

Dickie was disappointed, but Elliot couldn't bring himself to say more. This was another topic that had been addressed in their marriage counseling sessions. Kathy hated how his job kept him away long and irregular hours, but he couldn't or wouldn't share any details about what he was working on. She felt that if his job was so horrendous, he should transfer to another unit. It had taken a lot of soul searching on Elliot's part to be able to explain why, ugly as it could be, this job meant so much to him and why he couldn't walk away from it. They had compromised that he would share more with Kathy, let her know what he was working on so that she could understand how he felt. It still felt wrong, to tell her things that no parent should ever know about, but he had to admit, it had made a big difference in her acceptance of his job.

He changed the subject and asked the twins, who were now packing up their backpacks, about school. Just as Lizzie launched into a tirade about the ridiculous paper her English teacher expected them to write, Elliot's cell phone rang. He had automatically slipped into into the pocket of his sweats. He was never without his cell phone.

"Stabler he snapped into the phone. His face darkened as he listened to the dispatcher's voice on the other end. He snapped the phone shut and looked at Kathy.

"Let me guess, no lunch?" she said lightly, smiling to show him she wasn't upset.

"No, no….we can still do lunch," he said, standing up. He handed Eli to her and refilled his coffee. "But I have to go in for a bit right now. How about if you call me when you're done at the doctor's and we can decide where to meet?"

The twins were heading toward the door, used to their father's job taking priority over their presence.

"Wait up" called Elliot, hurrying over to the door.. He kissed Lizzie on the forehead and slapped Dickie on the back. "I'll see you two tonight, ok?" They nodded, pleased. "And I want to hear all about that English paper at supper, ok?" Lizzie smiled her agreement and they were gone, in a flurry of jackets and backpacks. Having Elliot home at dinner was something new too. Usually, when he was working a case, he worked straight through, but in the last few months, he'd made an effort to come home for dinner whenever possiblebefore going out again.

He walked back over to where Kathy was standing with the baby. "I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing her. "They found a body over on the East side. I've got to meet Olivia there as soon as I can."

"It's okay, really." She said. "I'll call you when we're finished at Dr. Furst's and see what's going on. And if we can't do lunch today, we'' do it another day, right?"

He pulled her and the baby close, breathing in their scents, giving thanks for their continued presence in his life. He never wanted to go back to that dark period where he'd thought he had to give them up for their own good.

"Right." He said, and went to get in the shower.


	3. Chapter 3

A Break in the Usual Routine

Elliot pulled up at the address he'd been given and got out of his car. He made his way over to Olivia, standing at the edge of a crowd of uniformed officers and paramedics at the entrance of an alley next to a small bodega. A uniform held up a hand to stop him but after a quick flash of his badge, let him through.

"What have we got?" he asked Olivia. It was only 8 am, but as always, she looked perfectly fresh and put together.

"A dead hooker" replied Olivia glumly.

"So why call SVU?" asked Elliot.

"She's young, El. Very young." Olivia looked at him, gauging his reaction. She knew that, as the father of three daughters, Elliot had an especially hard time with crimes relating to sex and young woman. He didn't say anything, but nodded grimly, acknowledging her concern.

"How do we know she was a hooker?" he asked.

"Initial interviews. The owner of the bodega says that this was her corner. He tried to keep her away from his store, but she'd always come back to this spot to meet johns."

"No ID, I suppose." Asked Elliot, edging over to get a look at the body. The medical examiner was bent over, taking temperatures and other measurements. He got a quick glimpse of a small form, limbs awry, and a lot of blood.

"None that we've found, but we wouldn't expect it on a hooker. She didn't have a purse or any money on her, so I'm guessing whoever did this to her stole her personal belongings before he left." Said Olivia. "The store owner thought he'd heard her called Elaina or Elana, something like that."

"Doesn't give us much to go on." Sighed Elliot. "C'mon, let's go talk to him again."

Elliot was at the station, searching through missing person's reports when his cell phone rang. The caller ID showed it was Kathy. "Hey, babe" he said. "Done at the doctor's?" He glanced at the clock on the station wall. It was 11:45; he had to be in court at 1:30 pm.

"All done." She said, her tone a little too cheery. Elliot could tell she was bracing herself for him to blow off their lunch date.

"Can you meet me at DiNardo's?" he asked. "You know, that little Italian place down the block from the courthouse? It will give us more time if I don't have to leave to drive to the courthouse."

"Sure," she said, sounding surprised, but happy. "We can be there in fifteen minutes."

"See you there. Love you, babe."

He hung up the phone and picked up his jacket. Olivia was looking at him from her desk. "Going somewhere?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm meeting Kathy and Eli for lunch before I go to court on the King case." He said casually. This wasn't easy for him. When in the grip of case, he liked to focus on it, to the exclusion of all else. But the events of this past year had shown him that he had to be able to juggle all of the aspects of his life at little better, to keep all of the important things afloat at once. He couldn't expect that Kathy and the kids would always be waiting patiently for him when the case was over, because there was always going to be a case.

Olivia nodded in approval. "Good for you, El." She said. "I'm proud of you."

He wadded up a piece of paper and lobbed it at her as he left.


	4. Chapter 4

A New Stabler Direction

From her seat by the window, Kathy had a clear view of Elliot as he approached the restaurant. He was dressed for court in a dark blue suit and as he strode down the sidewalk, he looked confident, powerful and very handsome. He spotted her as he came through the door, his eyes lighting up as he walked across the room.

Those eyes! They'd been melting her heart since they met in their senior year at St. Augustine's High School all those years ago. Intensely, sparkling blue, Elliot's eyes mirrored his every emotion. Right now, they looked happy and content as he leaned in to give her a soft kiss then slid into the booth across from her.

He looked across to where Eli sat next to her, sound asleep in his car seat.

"The appointment wore him out," explained Kathy. "He was not at all happy about getting a booster shot and screamed his little lungs out. "Fell asleep in the car on the way over here."

"Poor tyke" said Elliot, picking up his menu. "But it gives us a chance to eat in peace—when's the last time that happened?"

They gave their order to the waiter and sat, exchanging small talk as they waited for their food to arrive. Kathy filled him in on the details of Eli's Wellness Visit: he was right on target for all of his developmental milestones, 50th percentile for height and weight. Then she asked him about the case that had called him in early that morning.

In the past, Elliot would have brushed her off and told her just enough to get her off his back. He didn't like to talk about his work, feeling he needed to protect his family from the horrors he saw every day on the job. In their counseling sessions, it became clear that this urge to protect made Kathy unable to related to his job and see it as something alien that kept him away from his family too much of the time, and risked his life on top of it.

"It was pretty bad," he said, reaching across the table for her hand. He turned it over and stroked the inside of her palm as he talked, not meeting her eyes. "A young girl, about Lizzie's age, a prostitute we think. She was raped and strangled and left in an alley."

"How awful," said Kathy. "Do you have any idea who she is?"

"We're assuming she's a runaway and searching through the missing person reports, hoping that will lead to an ID. And of course, no one heard or saw anything in the neighborhood. A bodega owner found the body when he opened up the store and took the trash out to the alley."

Kathy sighed. "I can't imagine a girl as young as Lizzie even being involved in something like that, let alone ending up dead."

"I know." Said Elliot. They sat in silence for a few moments, holding hands across the table. Kathy was about to speak when the waiter arrived with their food. Eli slept through the clattering of dishes and silverware and grating of cheese without moving a muscle.

"He's going to be sorry when he wakes up and sees his missed out on pasta." Said Elliot, digging in to his own plate. Kathy, in anticipation of just that event, had already set some plain pasta aside on her bread plate to cool.

When they had finished their meal and were waiting for coffee, Kathy sat up a little straighter and looked at Elliot.

"I was really happy when you suggested this," she said cautiously. "Because there is something I've wanted to talk to you about." She could see the alarm flare in Elliot's eyes. "Nothing bad!" she assured him. "But I've been thinking about making some changes and I want to see what you thought."

"Ok," said Elliot, slowly. He pushed his plate aside and sat looking at her, totally focused. Kathy could see the wheels spinning in his head. The last time she'd told him they needed to talk, she'd dropped the bomb that she was leaving him, taking the kids and going to her mother's.

She took a deep breath. "I'd like to start taking some college classes." She blurted out. "I've been looking at the course schedules at City University and I'd like to start in January."

The waiter brought their coffee, and sensing he was interrupting, left quickly. Elliot picked up his cup and took a long sip before answering.

"What about him?" he asked, nodding at the sleeping baby.

"There's a day care center on campus," she said, and noting the instant flare in his eyes, continued quickly. "It would only be for a few hours a week, just while I'm in class. I'd start out part-time and see how it goes. It's a great day care, it's run by the Early Childhood Education department, and students do their practicum there, under direct supervision of the professors who teach the courses. You couldn't ask for a better set up."

Elliot was quiet, holding his coffee cup and watching her face. They'd agreed long ago, when they married at twenty, expecting their first baby, that she'd be a stay-at-home mom. They didn't want their kids being raised by strangers. It had been difficult financially at times to have only one income, but they'd managed. But at what cost?

"I know how you—how we- feel—about day care." She went on. "But it's different with Eli. The other kids—they all had each other. Maureen and Kathleen came so close together, and the twins had each other. But Eli—he's going to be like an only child in few years. It will be good for him to be around other kids."

Elliot nodded and she went on. "And Els….I need this. I really do. I've been a wife and a mother for the past twenty years. I've loved it—well, most of it," she shrugged, because it was impossible to pretend the difficult times hadn't ever happened. "But I'm 40, and I've never done anything for ME. You've got a job you love—"she looked at him pointedly and he nodded. "I've never had that. I'd …..I'd like to see what else I can be, besides a wife and mother."

Elliot sat forward, pushing his coffee cup aside and taking her hands in his. "I can see you've thought a lot about this, Kath. What do you want to go to college FOR? What do you want to do?"

She took another deep breath. "I'd like to study psychology, counseling. I think maybe I'd like to be a counselor." He looked at her, expressionless. . "All that we've been through, with Kathleen and her bipolar disorder, and your job…and then, when I saw how much Dr. Cooper was able to help us in marriage counseling…it all makes me wonder; maybe I could do something like that. It's something I could do part-time, while Eli is in school."

Elliot stood up and walked around to her side of the booth and slid in next to her. He kissed her and then touched his forehead to hers. "Kath, if this is what you want to do, I think it's great."

She pulled back to look at him. "You do?" she asked in amazement. "I was sure you were going to pitch a fit."

He shrugged. "A few years ago, I probably would have. I can't say I'm thrilled about Eli being in day care, but I can live with it for a few hours a week." He bent forward to kiss her again. "I want you to be happy, Kathy. I want that more than anything. You and our family are everything to me." Kathy smiled back at him, tears in her eyes. "And I think you'd make a great counselor. You've managed to keep this family together for all of these years. "

She snuggled up close to him, her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking about the different direction this choice would take the Stablers. Suddenly, Elliot looked at his watch and slid out of the booth. "I've got to get to court—I'm due on the stand in fifteen minutes. Where did you park?"

"Actually," she said, slipping out after him "I was thinking of coming to watch you in court."

He looked at her in amazement. In all of the years of his job, Kathy had rarely come to the station, and never to the court house. "Why?" he asked.

She reached over, straightened the lapels on his suit and tugged at the cobalt blue tie that brought out the sparkle in his eyes. "I like to see you in action." She said, smiling. She leaned in closer and whispered in his ear. "It makes me kind of hot."

Elliot drew back and looked at her, his face breaking into his trademark lop-sided grin. "Ok, then." He said, picking up still sleeping Eli in his car seat. "Let's go."


	5. Chapter 5

Courting

Elliot was out of the court house in record time. When they'd arrived, he went to wait in the witness area while Kathy slipped in to the back of the court room, the baby still sound asleep.

"Are you sure he's ok?" asked Elliot as he kissed her good-bye. "He's been out for a long time."

"Just worn out," replied Kathy, not at all worried. "If he wakes up fussy, I'll have to leave though. So I hope you're on the stand soon."

"Supposed to be." Elliot looked at his watch. "I'm the first on the stand after their lunch break, if they're not running behind."

Miraculously, the trial was on schedule. Elliot's testimony went very smoothly. After all of the times he's been on the witness stand, he'd learned not to fall for the defense attorney's attempts to trip him up or make him lose his temper. His calm, collected recollection of the facts of the case had a sobering effect on the jury. Elliot left the stand feeling he'd done his part to send another scumbag away for a very long time.

Kathy was waiting in the hall, holding a recently wakened Eli, who reached for his father as soon as he saw him.

"Hey, little man," he crooned, kissing his cheek where it was red from where he'd been leaning against the side of the car seat. "You finally woke up!" Eli reached out to play with his father's tie, investigating the shiny NYPD tie pin.

"So, how'd I do?" Elliot asked Kathy, grinning.

"You were very impressive," Kathy replied, smiling back. "You had me convinced."

"Yeah?" Elliot leaned in close for a kiss. "Just how convincing was I?"

"Very" she whispered back.

"Elliot! There you are!" Kathy and Elliot pulled apart to see Olivia striding purposefully down the hall. "I've been texting you. Hi Kathy! And hi, little guy—look how big you are!" she smiled at Eli. Eli glanced up at her, but went back to trying to work the pin out of his father's tie. Kathy stood next to Elliot, trying not to show her disappointment at being interrupted in such a tender moment.

"I had to turn my phone off in court." Elliot pulled it out of his pocket and turned it back on. The beeps indicated three waiting text messages.

"We got an ID on the victim—there WAS a missing person's report in the system. It was filed by her mother, out in Brooklyn."

"Ok, then". Elliot turned to Kathy. "It looks like we're taking a trip to Brooklyn. Let me walk you back to your car first."

"No, no, you go ahead," said Kathy, reaching to take the baby from his arms. "I've got to change him first anyway."

"Nah, I'll do that." Said Elliot, keeping Eli and taking the small bag she carried for him. "You don't need to be hanging around the bathrooms in this dump."

Kathy and Olivia both watched in amazement as Elliot walked away from them toward the facilities.

"He's really trying, isn't he?" said Olivia, smiling.

"He is." Said Kathy, watching her husband as he disappeared down the hall. "It's kind of freaky sometimes, how different he is."

"You and the kids mean the world to him," said Olivia, turning to look at Kathy directly. "He was so miserable last year when you two were….apart. I've never seen him like that before."

"He means the world to us too." Said Kathy simply.

"So, how did your lunch go?" asked Olivia, as they drove toward the address in Brooklyn.

"Nice," said Elliot. "Real nice."

"And Kathy came to watch you testify in court?"

"Yeah, she did." Elliot turned to look at Olivia, smiling. "That's a change, isn't it?"

"Sure is." Olivia remembered Elliot telling her how, in his early years on the unit, he'd try to talk to Kathy about his cases, but she'd always change the subject. She thought she was helping him get his mind off work. Over time Elliot gave up trying and kept everything to himself, believing he was protecting her.

"Kathy did bring something different up," continued Elliot. "I'm not sure if I'm thrilled with it."

Olivia waited for him to go on.

"She wants to start taking college classes in January. Part-time, put the baby in the college day care while she's in class."

"Is that a problem?"

Elliot shrugged. "I don't know. I hate the thought of him being with strangers. I'll probably have to go over there and check the place out myself, run a background check on everyone who touches my kid." He looked at Olivia, a sheepish grin on his face. She laughed, picturing him flashing his badge at the day care staff and scaring them to death. Eli would be the best cared for baby in history.

"But Kathy said it would be good for him to be around other kids and she's probably right." Elliot went on.

Olivia murmured in agreement, sensing there was more.

"I don't know," said Elliot, tapping on the steering wheel, something he did when he was agitated. "It makes me kind of nervous, the idea of Kathy being out there in the world, meeting other people…other guys who are way smarter than me. What if she decides she wants something better?"

"Elliot!" exclaimed Olivia, putting her hand on his arm. "Kathy loves you! She's not looking for someone else. And you're plenty smart."

"Street smart," scoffed Elliot. "But not book smart. I only went to two years of college."

"Your wife loves you." Repeated Olivia. "I see the way she looks at you. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Really?" asked Elliot, turning to look at her.

"Really. Now shut up. We're here."


	6. Chapter 6

An Eventful Evening

Elliot managed to keep his promise to the twins to be home for dinner, but just barely. He listened to their stories about school; once Lizzie got complaining about her teachers; Dickie was more than happy to join in with examples of how much worse his were. Elliot and Kathy exchanged looks: they were both thinking about how tough the nuns had been at the Catholic schools they'd attended. Neither wanted to interrupt with stories of their own childhoods; it was wonderful to have the twins talking so freely.

Eli was well rested from his long nap and not content to sit in his high chair when his father was nearby. Elliot grimaced when he dropped a fistful of mashed potatoes on his suit pants, and then shrugged. For the work he and Olivia had to do that evening, he'd be changing into jeans.

After dinner, he apologized to Kathy for not staying to clean up. "Leave the dishes," he urged. "I'll do them in the morning when I get up with the baby."

Kathy pretended to check his forehead to see if he were running a temperature, and then shooed him away. "The twins will do the dishes." She said, ignoring the chorus of groans behind her.

Elliot met Olivia back at the station. He had changed to jeans and a leather jacket; she was similarly dressed in informal attire. They'd spoken to the mother of the murdered teenager. She was sixteen years old and had disappeared from home three months ago, after her mother had tried to keep her from hanging out with a bad group of kids. The mother was a Russian immigrant who spoke in halting English and it had been hard to get much information out of her. She was able to tell them the names of some of her daughter's new unsavory friends, and a visit to the local high school gave them a few more leads. Evidently another girl, Carmen had gone missing around the same time as Elena; but her family had not filed a report and so the local police had not made the connection. Their friends left at the high school, a surly lot of tattooed and pierced teens, thought they might have gone into the city together to live with Carmen's older brother. Olivia and Elliot were on their way to try to pin down the location of the brother and hopefully, Carmen. They had addresses for five Carlos Ramirez's in the general neighborhood where the murdered girl had been found.

"There's probably a thousand Carlos Ramirez's in the city," grumbled Elliot. "Ten thousand."

"Well, it would make sense that Elena was working the area near where she lived." Said Olivia. "Maybe we'll get lucky."

The first Ramirez was a 60 yr old grandfather with a beer belly who wasn't happy at being disturbed during his baseball game. There was no answer at the second address, and a canvas of the neighboring apartments revealed that that particular Mr. Ramirez was in his 40's and lived alone, and no one had seen any young girls around lately.

"Only 9, 998 to go," Elliot sighed.

He was unduly pessimistic, because they hit pay dirt at the next address. A young girl opened the door and looked dismayed when they produced their badges. It didn't take long for her to admit she was the missing Carmen and when Elliot produced a picture of Elena taken by the medical examiner's office, she burst into tears.

Elliot let Olivia handle the questioning. She had a way with young girls. Carmen sobbed out her story: she and Elena had run away and come to the city to live with her older brother, Carlos. Carlos let them live there, but only if they paid him rent and bought groceries. They'd both tried to find jobs, but they were too young and didn't have ID—they didn't want their parents to be able to trace them if they used their real names. One of Carlos's friends hooked them up with a pimp. They were saving to get a place of their own, but then Elena hadn't come home one night. Carmen read about the murder in the paper the next day, but Carlos had forbidden her to go to the police. He didn't want them "in his business."

"Where is Carlos now?" asked Elliot, looking around the shabby apartment. It was obvious that someone was trying to keep it clean, and he guessed that it wasn't Carlos.

"He's out." Sobbed Carmen. "He goes out every night with his friends, I don't know what they do, but he doesn't come back until late."

"We're going to have to take you in to the station." Olivia explained gently. "We need to get your official statement, and then we're either going to have to call your parents or social services. You can't stay here."

Carmen sobbed even harder. "I don't want to go home." She cried. "My father—he-I don't want to go back there."

Olivia looked at Elliot. How many kids had they seen like this over the years? Desperately trying to escape one abusive relationship, they just ended up in the hands of people who were more than willing to exploit them further.

"We'll figure something out." Said Olivia, rising to her feet and offering Carmen her hand. "Let's go."

When Elliot got home, the house was quiet. Kathy was lying on the couch, reading what appeared to be a college catalog.

"I've got to fill out an application." She groaned. She sat up to make room for Elliot beside her. He went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer first. She nodded when he held up the bottle to see if she wanted one too. "How did it go tonight? Any breaks?"

He filled her in briefly about the events of the evening. "It's pretty bad when a kid would rather go into a shelter than back to her parents." He sighed, taking a long swig of his beer. Kathy snuggled up next to him. She was wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and one of Elliot's "wife beater" undershirts. He couldn't help but notice how thin the shirt was over her breasts, clearly showing the dark circles of her nipples. Unable to stop himself, he gently stroked one nipple though the thin fabric. His hand was wet from the condensation on his beer bottle and made the material cling and become more transparent. When she sighed in contentment, he bent his head and used his mouth to make the wet area larger. She sighed again and lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

"Are the kids all asleep?' he asked hoarsely. She nodded in assent. "Even the twins?" She nodded again, deliberately, slowly pressing her hips up against his groin and feeling his instant reaction.

He maneuvered himself so that he was lying beside her on the couch, but it was a tight fit. Kathy was fumbling to reach his belt buckle, but when he pulled back to give her room, he almost fell of the couch and onto the carpeted floor. They both laughed.

"Remember when we used to squeeze into the back seat of your brother's convertible?" she asked. "I think we were a lot more flexible then."

He snuggled in close to her, lifting her hair so he could kiss her neck. "Yeah. Dickie will have it made with the van and all of the room in the back…." Elliot hesitated, then stood up, reaching out his hand to pull Kathy to her feet. "C'mon." He started to pull her toward the garage door, and then hesitated. "Where's the baby monitor?"

"On top of the frig." She laughed. "Are you serious? In the van?"

"Why not?" he asked. He turned up the volume on the baby monitor and started toward her, then hesitated and detoured back toward their bedroom. When he finally caught up with her, he had the baby monitor in one hand, had scooped up their beers with the other-and a foil package of condoms between his teeth.

"All set" he mumbled around the condoms. Kathy laughed and opened the garage door.


	7. Chapter 7

Reaching Out

Elliot was at work, the twins had just left for school and Eli was happily playing on a blanket at the floor, practicing his newly developed commando crawl from one toy to another. Kathy began to clear up the breakfast debris, humming to herself as she worked. She was….happy. She felt happy, content and relaxed. She laughed out loud, thinking to herself "It must be all of the sex." When was the last time that she and Elliot had made love two nights in a row? She laughed again, thinking about going out to the van last night. Elliot had insisted on clearing out all of the soccer equipment, lawn chairs and blankets from the back end, putting down the seats and spreading out a blanket so they could crawl in and pretend to be "parking" like they did when they were teenagers. It was amazing, making love in the comfortable nest of the van that was normally filled with children and noise. They fogged up the windows with their activity, afterwards lying on their back drawing patterns in the condensation as if they were kids.

The awkward part had been when they came back to the house, Elliot in his plaid boxers, carrying the rest of his clothes with Kathy bringing up the rear with the empty beer bottles and baby monitor, to find Lizzie in the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboard where Kathy kept the ibuprofen and other household medicines. Their daughter turned to look at them in shocked amazement when they came through the door from the garage, giggling like teenagers.

"Where were you guys? What were you do-oh my god, you guys are GROSS!" she exclaimed, grabbing the bottle of ibuprofen and heading back to her room.

Kathy laughed, and patted Elliot on the back. "I'll go see what's going on," she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Go to bed."

It turned out that Lizzie had woken up with cramps and gotten up to take something, thinking everyone else was in bed. She didn't want to hear any of Kathy's explanations about how parents needed some "romantic" time once in awhile, but Kathy secretly thought it was good that she had seen her parents acting like a happy couple. It was certainly an improvement over what she had gotten from them the year before, when they were always tense and fighting.

Elliot had been sound asleep when she crawled in bed, turned on his side facing her half of the bed, softly snoring. She worried about him; he worked long hours and never seemed to get enough sleep. He assured her that he didn't need as much as most people. It was true that he always needed to be on the go, always doing something. He was never content to just sit around and relax. Even on his days off, he was busy, working around the house, practicing soccer moves in the backyard with the kids, taking Eli along for a run in his jogging stroller. She wished she had his kind of energy, but still worried that the lack of sleep would slow his reaction time at just the wrong moment. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind: there would be no more worrying about his job, no more obsessing about the worst that could happen. Her new philosophy was to take one day at a time.

She closed the door to the dishwasher and started it, then took a second cup of coffee to sit on the couch and watch Eli. It was still a shock to her that Elliot had been so accepting of her desire to start taking classes. In some ways, her husband was a man with old-fashioned values. H is own home life when a kid had been such a disaster, an alcoholic father, his mother with untreated bi-polar disease. He was determined to provide something better for his own children. He seemed to have taken his model of the perfect family from the sitcoms of the 50's and 60's.

She pulled out the college catalog and application forms. When was the last time she had written an essay? And where was she going to find three people to write letters of personal reference? Well, Father O'Keefe would certainly write one. She could also ask the woman who ran the food pantry at church where she occasionally volunteered. Who else? She sat for a few minutes, thinking, while her coffee grew cold. The third person needed to be not related to the Church or they'd think she was some kind of religious fanatic.

What about Olivia? She'd known her for over ten years, as long as she and Elliot had been partners. They weren't exactly friends, but they had a grudging respect for each other, bound by their different but equally important relationships to the same man.

Impulsively, she picked up the phone and called the station. She knew that Olivia's extension was one number different than Elliot's. Hopefully she'd be out and she could leave a message, that way, if Olivia didn't want to do it, she just wouldn't call back.

"Benson." Olivia's voice on the phone was crisp and professional. Kathy swallowed and jumped in.

"Hi, Olivia, this is Kathy Stabler. Do you have a minute?"

"Sure, Kathy—is everything ok?" Olivia sounded concerned.

"Everything's fine-this is a personal matter." Kathy rushed on. If Elliot was sitting across the desk from his partner, he was probably wondering what was going on. "I don't know if Elliot mentioned that I'm thinking of going back to school?"

"Yes, he told me." Said Olivia, her tone more relaxed. "I think it's a great idea. Good for you!"

"The problem is, I need to formally apply to the program…and I need three letters of personal reference. Do you think…would you…be willing to write one for me?"

There was no hesitation in Olivia's response. "Kathy, I'm honored that you would ask me. Of course I would write one for you."

"That's wonderful, thank you so much, Olivia. I wasn't sure who I could ask, and then I thought of you…" Kathy's voice trailed off. She was babbling like an idiot. "I can send the forms in with Elliot. After you write the letter, you mail it directly to the school. I never have to see it."

"Well, I'll send you a copy too." Said Olivia firmly.

There was an awkward pause. This was the longest conversation she'd ever had with Olivia.

"Hey, Olivia?" Kathy asked spontaneously. "Would you like to come to dinner tomorrow night? If you and Elliot don't have to work?"

"Sure, I'd love to." Olivia sounded surprised, but pleased. She'd been invited to the Stabler's before, but always for group activities like picnics or holiday parties. "I'd love to see you and the kids. What time?"

They agreed that Olivia would just come home with Elliot the next day and wound up the conversation. Kathy hung up, already wondering about the wisdom of her action. What if Elliot didn't want his partner coming home for a family dinner? It was certainly chaotic at times, but not so much now without the drama of the two older girls. Maybe she should call and invite Maureen and Kathleen to dinner too. No, that would be making too big of a deal out of the whole thing. It should be just a quiet family dinner, a chance for her to get to know Elliot's partner. Elliot wouldn't mind, and if he did, well, too bad!


	8. Chapter 8

Preparation

Elliot was early that night. He found Kathy in the kitchen, adding noodles to a pot of homemade soup. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck.

"Hey, babe," he said, inhaling the scent that was uniquely his wife. "Soup smells good. And so do you."

She put her spoon down and turned to face him, putting her arms around his neck and sliding them both away from the gas burner. "You're home early." She said, kissing him softly.

Dickie and Lizzie came into the kitchen, carrying their backpacks. "Are you two at it again?" Dickie groaned. "Get a room!" He and Lizzie exchanged glances. Lizzie had clearly filled her brother in on the events of the night before.

"Wise guy," said Elliot, letting go of his wife and stepping over to the refrigerator to grab a cold beer. He twisted off the top and threw it at Dickie, who caught it in mid-air and lobbed it back. Elliot leaned back against the counter and grinned. "Someday you'll be lucky and have someone who makes you as happy as your mom does me."

The twins made simultaneous gagging noises. "I sincerely doubt either of us would torture our children with PDA's." said Lizzie primly, putting her backpack down on a chair and unzipping it.

"PDA's?" Elliot turned to look at his wife in confusion.

"Public displays of affection." Said Kathy, smiling. "Lizzie, don't set up to do your homework there. We're going to eat soon, since Dad is home early. Take your stuff up to your room. And which one of you wants to set the table?"

Both twins held a finger to the side of their nose, a bizarre code that indicated "Not it."

"I'll set the table," said Elliot, laughing. "Go put your stuff away."

Elliot reached for a cloth and wiped the table clean. "Where's the little guy?" he asked, opening the cupboard that held the dishes.

"Asleep. If he doesn't wake up soon, I'll have to get him up or he won't sleep tonight."

Elliot started setting the table. "I hear you invited Olivia to dinner tomorrow night." He said casually. Kathy studied his face but received no clue as to how he felt about the invitation.

"I know I should have asked you first—do you mind? It's just that I was asking a favor and then I felt like I needed to do something in return—it just popped out of my mouth before I thought about it too much."

"No, its fine," said Elliot, taking her by the hand and pulling her close for another hug. "I was just surprised. She was really pleased that you asked her to write a reference too. She's always thought that you didn't like her much."

"I know," replied Kathy, not meeting his eyes. "But I'm trying."

Elliot put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up for a kiss. "It's a good start."

The next day was chaotic. Eli was fussy with a tooth coming in and cried to be held all day. Kathy wanted everything to be perfect when Olivia came to dinner. This was her domain and she wanted to show that she was in charge and capable. When the twins came home from school, she begged them to take their brother for a walk and keep him busy for awhile so she could straighten up and finish cooking.

"What's the big deal?" asked Dickie. "Is the President coming to dinner?"

"No, but I've asked Olivia to come eat with us, and I'd like everything to be…nice. Can you help me out?"

The twins looked at her in surprise. They'd caught enough snippets of conversations over the years to know how much their mother resented the time their father spent with his partner. And now she was coming to dinner?

"Olivia's coming here?" asked Lizzie. "How come?"

"I just thought it would be nice," snapped Kathy, zipping Eli into a warm fleece jacket. "The stroller is out in the garage. Walk him over to the park and back. Please?" she added, when they just stood there, looking at her.

"Sure," said Dickie, reaching out for his brother. "I think Olivia's cool."

Kathy did a quick straighten up of the living room. Thank goodness for the downstairs family room that contained most of the mess—the video gaming systems, books and toys. She made sure to dust off the pictures on the mantel over the fireplace, prominently centering the most recent family photograph, the one they'd had taken last year, right after Eli was born. She set the table in the dining room that they only used on holidays, starting with the Irish lace tablecloth handed down to her from her grandmother.

In the kitchen, she checked on the simmering beef stroganoff and put a pan of water on to heat for the noodles. She pulled out the big wooden bowl that she would toss a salad in at the last minute, and sliced a loaf of French bread she'd picked up a the bakery that morning. In the refrigerator was her famous Irish Cheesecake, generously laced with Bailey's Liquor that she'd been able to put together while Eli was napping that morning.

She poured herself a glass of wine and took a slow walk through the house to see how it might look to an outsider. Neat and clean, but lived in. A home that clearly housed a busy family—just what she wanted to show Olivia.

The twins returned from the park. Eli seemed in a much better mood, and was content to sit in his high chair and snack while she finished cooking. Lizzie was sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework, so Kathy took a few minutes to run up to the bedroom and freshen up before Elliot and Olivia arrived. She kept her jeans, but exchanged her sweatshirt for a soft grey v-necked sweater that Elliot said brought out the blue in her eyes. It nicely highlighted the beautiful Celtic Eternity knot pendant that he had given her when t hey reconciled last year. She dabbed a little Shalimar behind each ear, another Elliot favorite. She stood in front of the full-length mirror in their bedroom, taking stock. Not bad for a 40 yr old woman with five kids, she thought. Not bad at all.


	9. Chapter 9

An Unexpected Alliance

Olivia was a nervous wreck about the upcoming dinner at the Stabler's. For all of the years that she'd been partnered with Elliot, there'd been a certain amount of tension between her and Kathy. She could understand it to an extent. She and Elliot spent many hours a day together, and understood each other in ways that no one else could. Still, she had never once crossed the line romantically or sexually with Elliot and had always been friendly to his wife. Elliot was a handsome guy and if circumstances were different, she might have been interested in more. But, he was married, and her partner. A personal relationship would jeopardize their ability to have each other's backs in an emergency. They'd both seen it happen to other cops and knew better than to cross that line.

It was hard to explain the partner relationship to outsiders. No one thought twice of the bond between two men when they'd been working together for years, but add a woman to the mix and there was constant speculation. Partners got close out of necessity. Even if you didn't like the person you were assigned with, you knew them better than anyone else. Part of it was the endless hours spent together, often on boring tasks like stakeouts, waiting to testify in court and filling out paperwork. Partners saw each other in the best and worst of times—in their strongest and weakest moments. It was important to know your partner well so you'd know how they'd reaction in a tough situation. With her and Elliot, being of different genders mixed it up a little, in the sense that he treated her like he was her big brother and she tended to mother him. Elliot knew all of her hot spots and she his.

Olivia followed Elliot home in her car that night. She didn't want him to have to go out again to take her home, plus she wanted the option of an early exit if things got too uncomfortable. It was hard to know what to expect. Kathy calling her out of the blue and asking her to write a reference was a big surprise.

Elliot thought she was crazy when she insisted on stopping at the florist to pick up a bouquet of fall flowers, but her mother had always taught her to never arrive empty-handed. She'd dressed carefully that morning in a sweater and black pants, not too dressy, not too casual.

They arrived at the Stabler house at 6:30. Elliot waited for her while she parked her car on the street.

"You look like you're about to walk down death row," he teased her. "Honestly, my kids aren't THAT bad!"

He always knew how to make her relax. She elbowed him in the side and followed him through the garage and in the side door.

They were greeted by an assault of wonderful smells. Lizzie was at the kitchen table playing with the baby in his highchair. Kathy was at the stove and turned to greet them, her face slightly flushed but wearing a welcoming smile.

"Olivia! I'm so glad you could come on such short notice." Lizzie added her own shy hello. She'd always been a bit intimidated by her father's partner, mostly because she was so totally different from any of the other adult woman she knew. She carried a gun!

Olivia handed Kathy the flowers. "Thanks for the invitation. Everything smells wonderful."

There was an awkward pause, and then everyone sprang into action. Kathy thanked Olivia for the flowers and went to the cupboard for a vase. Elliot poured a glass of wine for him and Olivia and topped off Kathy's. Lizzzie went to call Dickie for dinner.

Olivia sat down in the chair next to Eli and tapped on his high chair try with her long nails. "Hi, little guy, how are you? You're getting so big!" Eli looked at her solemnly and turned to look at his father for reassurance. At nine months, he wasn't sure about strangers. Elliot laughed and scooped him out of his high chair.

"She won't bite," he promised his son. "Or at least, not too hard."

Without giving her a chance to object, he passed his son over to Olivia. "Here, hold him while I take his high chair in the other room."

Kathy tried not to laugh at the look of panic on Olivia's face. She adjusted Eli on her hip so they were looking at each other face to face. Eli stared for a moment, then reached out to grab at one of her dangly earrings. Olivia grabbed his hand just in time. Kathy stifled a chuckle. "Here," she said, handing Olivia one of his toys. "Maybe this will keep him from mutilating your ear lobes, but no guarantees. I haven't been able to wear anything but posts since he turned four months old."

Dickie came thundering down the stairs. "Hi, Ms Benson, he said cheerfully. Kathy put him and his twin to work, carrying dishes out to the dining room. Elliot came back to help. "I hope you don't mind eating so early." Kathy said to Olivia. "The kids will revolt if we wait any longer."

"Not at all," smiled Olivia. She was in the process of removing her earrings and putting them in her pocket. "I'm thrilled to be having a home cooked meal. For me, it's usually take out at midnight."

They sat down at the table in the dining room. Olivia was caught off guard when the family automatically joined hands while Elliot said Grace, but recovered in time to slip her hand into Dickie's on her right. To her left was Eli in his highchair, and he was busy trying to trying to clamber out of it. As soon as Grace was over, Elliot picked him up and sat him in his lap.

"You spoil him," chided Kathy, passing the first dish to Lizzie. "He is perfectly content to sit in that chair when you're not home."

"What's the point of having a baby if you can't spoil him?" asked Elliot, handing his son the heel of the French bread to gnaw on.

Dickie and Lizzie groaned in unison. "You could spoil us instead," suggested Lizzie. Elliot considered this for a moment. "Nah," he said. "Your little brother is cuter."

"See how he is?" Dickie turned to Olivia. "Is he this mean to everyone down at the station?"

Olivia looked at Elliot, a twinkle in her eye. "Pretty much," she admitted to Dickie.  
"But Finn puts him in his place now and then."

The twins laughed to think of someone getting the best of their quick-tongued father. Kathy smiled, finally able to relax and enjoy herself. She was drinking more wine that she was eating, but that was ok. She'd earned it.

When the meal was over, the twins helped clear the table and excused themselves to go do homework.

"They're great kids," said Olivia to Kathy. Elliot had gone into the kitchen for coffee. "You and Elliot have done a great job with them."

"Thanks," replied Kathy. Her children were her life's work. Since she and Elliot had married at twenty, already expecting their daughter Maureen, she'd hadn't done much but be a mother but that was mostly fine with her.

"How are the older girls?" asked Olivia. This was a more delicate subject, she knew, but felt it would be like ignoring the elephant in the room to not ask. She was well aware of the problems Elliot and Kathy had had, first with Maureen as a rebellious teen who'd run away from home and then Kathleen, acting out due to an untreated bipolar disorder.

"They're doing okay," said Kathy, accepting a cup of coffee from her husband. He carried the baby on his shoulder, passing out cups and going back for the pot of coffee. "Maureen is working part-time and taking classes. Kathleen, well….she's still struggling, but she's got a job and seems to do better living with Maureen than she did here." Kathy looked up at Elliot with a rueful smile. "She sees Maureen as an ally, where we were always the enemy."

"She'll come around eventually," said Elliot. "As long as she keeps taking her meds, I'm okay with it."

Elliot sat back down, a sleepy Eli leaning against his chest and sucking his thumb. The four older kids were blond and looked like their mother, but the baby looked like a mini-Elliot with fine, dark hair and intense blue eyes. It was already evident that he was going to have his father's short and compact build as well.

Olivia turned to Kathy. "I have to say, I was surprised when you asked me to write your reference letter, Kathy." she said. "But I was pleased to do it. I sent it in this morning and made you a copy." She pulled a folder paper out of her pants pocket and handed it across the table to Kathy.

"Thanks, Olivia," Kathy accepted the paper and slid it under her plate without looking at it. "I really appreciate it." She explained her reasons for not wanting all of her references to come from church personnel, which made both Olivia and Elliot laugh.

"Tell me about your degree plans," urged Olivia. "El says you want to go into counseling."

Kathy flinched inwardly at the use of her husband's nickname, but reached for the course catalog from the bookcase. Elliot stood up. "If you ladies will excuse me for a few minutes," he said, "I'm going to go get this little guy settled in for the night."

"Thanks, hon." Said Kathy, barely taking her eyes off the catalog she was opening to show Olivia, "But would you mind bringing us another bottle of wine before you go up with him?"

Elliot stood in the doorway, sleepy baby in arms and looked at a scene he'd never imagined in his wildest dreams—his wife and his partner, at his dining room table, surrounded by the remains of a dinner cooked by his wife, with their heads bent over a book and engaged in energetic discussion over the merits of various electives. He shook his head, and went, grinning, to get the bottle of wine.


	10. Chapter 10

A Man's Worst Nightmare

"…and how about when he clears his throat before he talks to let you know he has something important to say?"

Elliot stepped back into the room. "Are you two talking trash about me? he asked in disbelief. Kathy and Olivia were deep in conversation, an empty wine bottle beside them and another partially empty one between them.

At the sound of his voice, Olivia, experienced veteran of hundreds of hours of interrogations, made an innocent face, but Kathy, who'd had far more to drink, collapsed into giggles.

"I don't believe this!" Elliot exclaimed, his hands on his hips. "You two are totally wasted! I leave you alone for," pausing to look at his watch "an hour and you're wasted!"

Kathy straightened up, attempting to look outraged at the suggestion, but collapsed in giggles again. Before long, Olivia was in the same state. Elliot was stunned beyond belief. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined his wife and his partner getting drunk together-and talking about him!

"Sorry, El, "said Olivia, standing up. "I should probably get home. Can you call me a taxi while I use your bathroom?"

"You can't take a taxi back into Manhattan," growled Elliot. "It would cost a fortune. I'll drive you."

Kathy and Olivia exchanged glances. Kathy pretended to clear her throat which caused them both to start laughing again.

"Alright, alright, enough already," growled Elliot, picking up both wine bottles. "Olivia, the bathroom is down the hall past the kitchen." He watched Olivia wobble out of the room, and then turned to glare at Kathy. "Just what else were you two talking about?"

Kathy stood up and draped herself over his shoulder. "How much we love you, honey," she mumbled. "That's all, just how much we love you."

Elliot waited until Olivia returned, then pointed her to a chair. "Sit,' he commanded. "I'm going to help Kathy get to bed and then I'll come drive you home."

Olivia popped back up out of the chair. "I'll clean up while you're gone," she offered, reaching for a wine glass, which immediately tipped over and shattered.

"Sit!" repeated Elliot sternly. "I'll do the cleaning up, just SIT!"

Elliot returned to find Olivia dozing off but still sitting at the table where he'd directed her. His face softened. Kathy had fallen asleep as soon as he tucked her into bed, but not before she'd mumbled "That's the most fun I've had in awhile. Tell 'Livia she's got to come again soon."

"C'mon," he said, gently shaking Olivia's shoulder. "Let's get your coat."

Olivia perked up some when they got outside in the brisk night air. "I'm sorry, El," she said, holding his arm as he opened the passenger door of his car for her. "You were gone so long….where were you anyway?"

"I fell asleep rocking Eli," he admitted, somewhat sheepishly. He waited until Olivia buckled her seatbelt and then walked around to his side of the car, still shaking his head in disbelief. Olivia was always the one in control; he hadn't seen her like this in a long time.

"I like Kathy," murmured Olivia, settling back into the seat and closing her eyes. "We have more in common than I thought."

This alarmed Elliot. "Like what?" he asked cautiously. As far as he knew, about the only thing the two of them had in common was-him. Kathy had grown up in a large, traditional Irish-Catholic family and Olivia was the only child of a single mother, the product of a brutal rape. Olivia had been to college; Kathy had not. Kathy had five children; Olivia had never been a mother.

"Oh, lots of things," said Olivia dreamily.

Elliot shook her shoulder. "Don't be falling asleep on me," he warned. "I'm not carrying you up to your apartment."

Olivia opened her eyes and appeared to be making an effort to sober up.

"Kathy told me—right before she passed out—that she had a great time tonight," admitted Elliot. "She wants you to come back soon."

"I'd like that," said Olivia, reaching over to place her hand on his arm. Her face was suddenly very serious. "You have a great family, Elliot. A great wife, great kids. I hope you realize how lucky you are."

"Oh, I do," said Elliot. "I do."

They pulled up in front of her apartment. Elliot pulled his police car ID out of the glove compartment and left it on the dash so he could double park and walk Olivia up to her apartment. She lived in a fairly decent area, but it was late and Elliot had seen enough of the tragic things that could happen to a woman with her defenses down. As they rose up in the elevator, Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I'm tired, El," she said. His intuition told him she wasn't just talking about her physical state, but he didn't pursue it. Olivia was an intensely private person; she'd regret letting down when she remembered this conversation the next morning. H e took the key out of her hand and unlocked her apartment door, flipping on a light and taking a look around before stepping back to let her in.

"I know, Liv" he said, giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek. "I know."


	11. Chapter 11

Nothing More

Elliot walked into the station the next morning wondering what to expect. Olivia's car was still at his house in Queens; they'd decided the night before that she'd ride home with him at the end of the day to pick it up. She told him she'd take the subway to the station in the morning.

She was sitting at her desk, flipping through files and looking as though she'd had the best night's sleep of her life.

"Morning, El," she said brightly when she saw him.

"Good morning," he cautiously replied. Kathy had woken up with a splitting headache. When he left for work, she was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a bottle of Excedrin. Olivia, however, looked as if she hadn't had a drop of anything stronger than coffee. Of course, Kathy rarely drank, and Olivia often went out with other detectives at the end of a long day when Elliot was heading home to be with his family. He was pretty sure that was how she'd hooked up with Brian Cassidy years ago. Her private life was none of his business, but he'd thought it was a big mistake for her to get involved with someone in the station. They'd both denied there was anything going on between them, but one week they were fine and the next, there was an awkward tension whenever they were both in the room. Cassidy's transfer to Narcotics had ended the tension and since then, Olivia had put even more distance between herself and her male co-workers.

"I had a great time last night, "Olivia said, without looking at him. "I should call Kathy and tell her that myself shouldn't I?" She started to reach for her phone, but Elliot put out a hand to stop her.

"I'd wait for awhile," he said, taking off his jacket and sitting at his desk. "She wasn't in the best shape when I left, and she'll probably try to get some sleep when the baby naps this morning."

"Oh…." Her voice trailed off. "I guess we did drink a bit, didn't we?"

Elliot snorted. "A bit? You were both wasted!" Olivia smirked a little, obviously recalling the events of the night before. "And what exactly were you two talking about while I was putting the baby to bed?"

"Oh, just stuff…" she said vaguely. "You know, Kathy going back to school….and stuff. I think we decided we should get together for lunch this week."

"Lunch? Why?" Now Elliot was truly alarmed.

"It's no big deal, El. Calm down!" said Olivia, taking her mug to the coffee machine for a refill. "I said I'd look over her application and see if I could help in any way."

"This is just weird, Liv," he said, shaking his head.

"Weird how?" she asked, finally meeting his eyes. "You guys invited ME, remember?"

"Kathy invited you," Elliot reminded her, then noticing her raised eyebrows, quickly added: "Not that I didn't agree….but it's just that….I'm used to keeping my work and home life separate. And now, I've got my wife and my partner sharing stories about me….it just feels….not right."

"You'll live," said Olivia, showing no concern for his feelings. "It's not like we're only going to be talking about you."

"Only?"Elliot spluttered. "How about not at all?"

"Take the paranoia down a notch." Suggested Olivia. "Or do you have major secrets you don't want me to know about?"

"Secrets? No, of course not." Elliot had a twinge when he thought about the adventure in the garage the other night. Not a secret, but not exactly an image he wanted in his partner's mind. Kathy wouldn't share anything that intimate-would she?

Their discussion was cut short when the Captain came out of his office to tell them to head uptown to a call on the Upper Eastside. A young man had been found, badly beaten and unconscious. The uniforms on the scene thought it was possible he'd been raped as well.

"Great," said Elliot, grabbing his jacket. "Come on, Benson."

They arrived just as the victim was being loaded into an ambulance. He was still unconscious and Elliot winced at the sight of his bloody face and hands. One of the officers on the scene led them over to the spot where he'd been found, on the steps leading to the basement flat of a townhouse. An evidence technician was bagging up the items found with the victim.

"No ID on the vic," said the tech, holding out his hand to show them a slim black cell phone. "His wallet is gone. But they missed his phone—he must have dropped it when attacked and then fell on top of it."

"Good," said Elliot. "Get it over to Mark at the station and see what he can get off of it." He could see that it was an iPhone and he wasn't going to take the chance of messing it up. He could barely operate the simple cell phone he had.

On the way back to the station, Olivia surprised him by asking: "Would you rather I put some distance between me and Kathy, El? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

He glanced at her. Olivia was looking out the passenger window as he drove, chewing on her lower lip, something he only saw her do when she was worried.

"I dunno," He shrugged. "In a way, it's kind of nice to have you two getting along. Things have always been so…." He paused and Olivia filled in the blank.

"Tense." She turned to look at him, her dark eyes thoughtful.

"Yeah, kind of," he agreed.

"So what's the problem?" She asked.

He shrugged again. "I just….I don't like the idea of you two talking about me. "

Olivia laughed, and put a hand on his arm. "Always have to be in control, don't you, El? She said, grinning. "How about if we promise to keep talking about you to a minimum?"

He grinned back. "Okay. I can live with that."

They rode in silence for a few minutes. Olivia broke the silence with another question. "El, have you ever thought about the two of us as anything beyond partners?"

"What?" He asked, astonished. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," she hesitated for a minute, and then went on. "As something more personal. In a romantic sense. A sexual sense."

Elliot was stunned into silence.

"Liv," he began, and then stopped.

"Go ahead," she urged. "Just answer me. Don't worry about how you say it, just answer the question."

He looked at her helplessly. "Liv, I'm married," he began. "I don't think about other woman like that because…I made vows and I intended to keep them." Olivia looked at him, clearly expecting more.

"And you're my partner," he went on. "Partners don't get involved. It messes things up. It's wrong."

"So you don't think I'm attractive?" She asked.

"I didn't say that," he sputtered. "I just don't….think of you in that way."

There was an uncomfortable silence, and then he blurted out. "Why? Do you think of me…in that way?"

Olivia looked him, her face unreadable. "No." she said bluntly. "You're a great guy, El, but you're married, you're my partner. I don't think of you in any way but that. "

"Then why are you bringing all of this up?" Elliot asked in confusion.

"I just wondered. Kathy has always seemed to resent me and I wondered if there was a reason why, if she picked up on something from you that I didn't." Olivia explained. "I thought maybe I was just dense."

Elliot laughed in relief. "I think she resented you…a little….because of the time we spend together. Because I talk to you about things I don't tell her. Nothing else. She knows I would never be unfaithful to her."

"Good," said Olivia as they pulled up to the station. "That's good."


	12. Chapter 12

Social Networking

Olivia watched as Elliot answered the landline on his desk and answered curtly "We'll be right there."

"Mark wants us to come down and have a look at that cell phone." He explained to Olivia. "He's got a name for us and something else he wants us to see."

Olivia walked with Elliot to the elevator. They'd canvassed all of the townhouses in the immediate area of the crime scene, but of course, no one had seen or heard a thing until the newspaper delivery man noticed the body as he was making his morning rounds. They were counting on the phone to give them some leads.

Mark had it waiting on the table in front of him. "The vic's name is Brian Wildsmith," he told them. His account is listed with a PO Box in Brooklyn; they don't have another address for him. "

"Brooklyn," mused Elliot. "He didn't exactly die on his own home turf, did he?"

"If he even lived in Brooklyn," added Olivia. "He could pick up his mail near where he works."

"True," said Mark, picking up the phone. "But here's the interesting part—he had an application called Foursquare on his phone."

Olivia leaned in to watch as Mark pressed an icon and a screen popped up on the tiny phone. "What's Foursquare?"

"It's a GPS based application," Mark explained, holding the phone so they could both see the screen. "The phone uses the GPS to figure out where the user is and gives them a list of nearby places. The user checks in to show where they are. It's a form of social networking—let's your friends know where you are, let's you see if any of your friends are in the same place."

Elliot reached for the phone to take a closer look. "And makes it public information?" he asked.

"Yes," said Mark. "The user can choose where to share the information—via Facebook, Twitter, etc"

Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances. "It would certainly make him easy to find if someone were looking for him." Said Olivia.

Elliot read the screen. "So, according to this, it shows that he last checked in at the "Tool Box" on 2nd Ave?"

"Yes, and I just googled it," said Mark, turning to the screen of the computer on the table next to him. "It's a gay bar."

"A gay bar named the "Tool Box." scoffed Elliot. "How….original."

"And before that," said Mark, taking the phone and scrolling down the list. "He was at a gym on Madison Street—a gay-friendly gym."

"Crime of passion?" suggested Olivia, jotting down the addresses in a notebook. "Well, this gives us a place to start. Let's go by the morgue and see if they have a picture of Mr. Wildsmith for us yet."

"Wait a sec," said Elliot, looking at the phone again. "Did you check his recent calls?"

"I'm working on that," said Mark. "He's got several calls to and from a blocked number. The provider is tracking it down for me."

"Give us a buzz when you've got something," said Elliot, "And make us a list of everyplace he's checked in on that Foursquare in the last few days." He followed Olivia back to the elevator. The door opened and they stepped in. Elliot pressed the button for street level and shook his head.

"Social networking," he sighed. "Why don't they just call it what it is—giving predators a head start."

The decided to begin with the gym, as the bar wasn't likely to be open at this time of day. Melinda had given them a head shot to use, but even cleaned up the, the body wasn't a pretty sight. Wildsmith's face was covered with cuts and bruises. The ME told them he'd been kicked repeatedly in the head and torso by several assailants, one wearing steel-toed boots. Her preliminary COD was internal bleeding from a particular vicious kick to the temple. It would have taken the young man several hours to die, but thankfully, he would have been unconscious. Unfortunately, it appeared that the rape had occurred before the blows to the head.

Exhale (another name that made Elliot scoff) gave the impression of being more interested in atmosphere and comfort than fitness. The sign outside the door advertised 15 "therapy "rooms and listed a variety of yoga and relaxation classes. Elliot shook his head as they opened the heavy glass doors and headed to the plush reception desk. Olivia elbowed him in the side and hissed "Behave!" as they approached a young blonde man with Buddy Holly glasses. His name tag read "Bobby!" He eyed them suspiciously as they walked up.

Olivia showed him her ID. "I'm Detective Benson, and this is my partner, Detective Stabler." They never discussed ahead of time who would take the lead in any part of an investigation; but somehow it always worked out. They both had a good sense of which people would prefer to talk to a woman, and which would prefer soft versus a tough approach—roles they were equally good at playing.

"Bobby, we understand this man was here last night," said Elliot, pulling the picture out of his pocket.

"Around 7 pm," added Olivia, checking her notebook.

The young man peered at the picture, and then recoiled in horror. "What happened to him? Is he…."

"Dead." Said Elliot firmly. "Found raped and murdered last night. We have reason to believe he was here shortly before he died."

"I don't think I rec…" began Bobby!, taking another look. "I was working last night until we closed but it's hard to tell from that picture…oh wait!" He turned back to the desk and flipped through a log book in front of him. "There was a man who came in around 7, looking for one of our regulars. He was rather peeved when I wouldn't tell him if he was here or not. We're a members-only club." He added a bit too proudly. "We respect the privacy of our members."

He turned the book so the detectives could see the signature. "I made him sign in before I told him I couldn't help him," he said, smirking a bit. "That made him even more pissed off."

"Brian Wildsmith," read Olivia.

"What did he do when you couldn't help him?" asked Elliot.

"Oh, he gave me all kinds of attitude, but he left." Replied the receptionist. He brushed his blonde hair off his forehead and glared at Elliot.

"And who was he looking for?" asked Olivia, pen in hand.

Bobby! looked perturbed. "I can't violate a member's privacy." He huffed. "That's exactly what I told that man last night."

Elliot moved so that he was in his face. "We're investigating a murder." He hissed. "Every minute is crucial. You can tell us now, or you can tell us in a few hours when we come back, very pissed off, with a warrant."

Bobby! hesitated, looked from Olivia to Elliot and then down at his desk. "He was looking for Robert Addison," he said finally.

"The Mayor's aide?" asked Olivia. Bobby! nodded, clearly disgruntled at having given been forced to give up his best card.

Olivia handed the receptionist one of her cards and asked him to call if he thought of any other details. She and Elliot walked back to the car.

"This is getting interesting," said Elliot, unlocking the doors and climbing in the driver's seat. "Isn't Addison the one who was pushing for the stricter penalties for gay prostitution?"

"That's him," said Olivia, buckling her seatbelt. They looked at each other.

"Where next?" Asked Elliot, starting the car.

"Back to the station," Olivia replied. "Let's see if we can track down an address for Wildsmith and see if he has any family to be notified."

Elliot nodded and pulled out into traffic. "And then I can call Kathy to set up our lunch date." Added Olivia, smiling as Elliot shook his head.


	13. Chapter 13

Stolen Moments

Elliot walked in the door to find his house totally quiet and seemingly empty. Kathy wasn't in the kitchen, and there was no sign of any of the kids. He went quietly up the stairs and discovered the reason for the quiet: Kathy and the baby were asleep in their double bed. Eli was in that position that only babies can find comfortable, butt high in the air, face turned to the side so one cheek showed. He was sucking his thumb, something he did only when sleeping. Elliot stood over the bed and smiled down at him, their beautiful unexpected baby, the one that had brought them back together and sealed their commitment to each other. He reached down to slip his thumb out of his mouth. Eli promptly slid it back in. Elliot laughed softly and walked around to the side of the bed where his wife slept on her side, one hand tucked under her cheek. She was so beautiful. He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.

Her eyes flew open, realized it was him and looked at the clock. "Hey, what are you doing home? It's only 3:30" she asked sleepily, sitting up. She glanced over to check that Eli was still asleep and looked back at Elliot.

"I brought Olivia back to get her car," he explained in a quiet voice, not wanting to wake the baby. He sat down on the bed next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry to wake you up, but I wanted to let you know I won't be home for supper."

"No?" she asked, clearly disappointed. "You've been doing so well."

"I know," he replied, looking down at his hands. "But we've got a new case, and all of the places we need to visit are only going to be open in the evening. And before that, we've got to head out to Brooklyn and notify the family. No one was home when we just checked. Hopefully they're at work and will be home after five."

Kathy leaned in to kiss him. "It's okay," she said, adjusting his tie and resting her head on his shoulder. "I understand."

Elliot rested his cheek against her soft hair and sighed. Sometimes the juggling act of balancing family and a demanding job was a bit tiring, but he couldn't see himself giving up either. Kathy and the kids were his world, but his job was what defined him, gave him a purpose outside of his home. He loved knowing that he was making the world a little bit safer, a little bit less sordid, that he made sure that bad people received consequences for their actions.

He tipped Kathy's face up to meet his and kissed her again, with a bit more urgency. "I'm not meeting Olivia until 5," he said softly. "When do the twins get home?"

She laughed, and loosened his tie. "Not until 5. Soccer practice."

Elliot stood up and quickly removed his clothes, folding his suit pants neatly and laying them out at the foot of the bed. He stood in front of her in his white knit boxers, his erection clearly visible through the thin fabric, and reached for her hand to pull her off the bed.

"Have we checked out this rug since we had the house re-carpeted?" he asked in a whisper, pulling her t-shirt off over her head. He bent his head to kiss her breast at the edge of her bra, and then reached behind her to unhook it with one hand. He chuckled softly. "Still got the touch!"

Kathy didn't answer, but moved up so she was as close to him as possible, her breasts pressed up against his warm chest, her hips and stomach against the length of his erection. He twisted his hands in her hair and tipped her head back so he could look into her eyes. "I love you, Kath," he said hoarsely. "I love you as much as I did when we first got married. More, if that's possible."

Again, she didn't answer, but kissed him, hard. Lips locked together, they slid down to the carpet, which was, as it turned out, very comfortable.


	14. Chapter 14

The Cat & The Canary

Olivia watched as Elliot walked jauntily up to his desk, his suit jacket slung over one shoulder. He handed her a Starbucks cup of cappuccino, her favorite, and sat down with his own cup, which she knew would be a black coffee. He was whistling. Elliot, whistling!

"What's up with you?" she asked, astonished. Typically, a case as brutal as this one would have him in a dark mood, contemplating the depths to which humanity could sink before society crumbled altogether.

"Nothin'" he replied, giving her a big smile. "Can't I bring my partner a coffee?"

Fin looked over from his desk. "He got laid." He chuckled, and went back to his paperwork. "Only one thing puts a smile like that on a man's face in the middle of the day."

Olivia looked at Elliot, who grinned and opened the file in front of him. "Anything new?"

John Munch walked over and leaned against the desk, across from Elliot, arms folded. "I was just reading about a study," he began "That the frequency of spontaneous sex is the best predictor for the longevity of relationship."

"Munch!" they all groaned in unison. John his hands up in surrender and went back to his desk.

Olivia looked at Elliot and shook her head. "Still no answer at the number we've got for the Wildsmith's" she said. "Why don't we head on over there before we go to the Tool Box? Maybe they'll be home from work by then." When they'd stopped by the Brooklyn brownstone earlier that afternoon, the next door neighbor told them the couple usually arrived home around 6 pm. He didn't know where either of them worked, just that they came home together.

"Sounds good," said Elliot. He continued to whistle as he perused the file in front of him. The phone company had come up with a physical address for Wildsmith and from there, they were able to determine an identity from the seven Brian Wildsmith's they'd found in the general NYC area. He had been 24 years old, living at home and as far as they could tell unemployed.

Olivia looked at him, wondering if Fin was right. Elliot did have that post-coital look of the cat that'd swallowed the canary and loved every bite. He wore a navy striped shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes, which were bright and alert. The sleeves were rolled up to show the Marine Corp tattoo on the underside of his right forearm. She knew he had another tattoo as well, a stylized crucifixion on his upper left arm. Elliot's Catholic upbringing was a deeply ingrained part of who he was. Olivia, who hadn't been raised in any particular religion, often had a difficult time being understanding when Elliot's beliefs sometimes got in the way of their work on cases.

"Is that why there was no answer when I tried to call your house a little while ago?" she asked Elliot.

"What?" asked Elliot, pretending not to understand what she was talking about.

"Busted!" crooned Fin, and began humming the old tune "Afternoon Delight".

Olivia shook her head and went back to her own file. Evidently Kathy and Elliot really were in a new phase of their relationship. Good for them!


	15. Chapter 15

Olivia Simmers

Elliot and Olivia headed out to the car for the drive to Brooklyn for another attempt at notifying Wildsmith's family. "Do you want to drive?" asked Elliot, dangling the keys. He almost always did the driving while they worked, but he asked now and then to show he wasn't a total chauvinist. Olivia knew it was one of his ways of feeling in control, so she usually acquiesced. She wasn't crazy about driving in NYC traffic anyway. She owned a car, but walked wherever she could.

"Nah, you go ahead." Said Olivia absently, walking over to the passenger side. She buckled her seat belt and stared out the window as Elliot drove. She'd been feeling unsettled ever since the banter in the squad room about Elliot's purported afternoon activities. But why? Elliot was married, he and Kathy obviously had an active sex life; they had five children. Kathy had even managed to get pregnant while they were separated. There was nothing romantic between her and Elliot. So why the feeling of sadness and loss in the pit of her stomach?

"Everything okay?" asked Elliot, looking at her with concern. "You're pretty quiet."

"I'm fine," she replied, giving him a quick smile. "Just not looking forward to breaking bad news to yet another family."

"I'll handle it," said Elliot, reaching out to give her leg a brotherly pat. He was still in an obviously good mood and that annoyed her for some reason. How could he be home making love to his wife when in the middle of a miserable case like this?

She realized, with a pang, that she had gotten used to the idea of Elliot and Kathy having problems in their marriage. She knew that things were better now, but …. the basis for their reconciliation **had** been the unexpected pregnancy. They were both too Catholic to do anything but raise this child together. Olivia was happy for Elliot when he moved back home, or at least she thought she had been. Now she understood that on some level, she thought he had done it because he felt obligated and she had taken some satisfaction from that. Knowing that he and his wife had an active and evidently satisfying sex life didn't jive with her mental image of them sticking it out for the kids.

Or maybe she was just jealous because he was getting some and she wasn't. It had been awhile since Olivia had been involved with anyone. Juggling a job like this with a relationship never seemed to work out for her; in the end it, it always seemed to come down to a choice between the job or the man and she always choose the job. Elliot was the only person in the unit who was still married with a family and she saw how hard it was for him to manage.

Still, why wasn't she happy for Elliot and Kathy? She'd enjoyed dinner at their house the other night, had enjoyed dishing with Kathy over a bottle of wine. Admittedly, it wasn't only male relationships that were lacking in her life; Olivia didn't have much time for female friends either. She looked forward to meeting Kathy for lunch and having something to talk about besides pending cases. Why did knowing they were happy together in the bedroom somehow put a damper on that?

Olivia looked across the car to Elliot. He was an attractive man; she'd never denied that. Not classically handsome, but he had those gorgeous eyes that communicated his every mood. His smile could either light up a room or give someone an idea of how much trouble they were in. And that body…she loved the way he walked, the way he moved. He had a physical presence, a confidence that many men seemed to lack. He always managed to find time to work out in the gym and keep himself in shape.

She shook her head. Why was she thinking like this? There was nothing between her and Elliot, nothing. There never would be.

"We're here," said Elliot, pulling into a parking spot in front of a row of brownstones. "And I see lights on. They're home."

They got out of the car. Elliot slipped on his blazer; Olivia pulled her badge out of her pocket in preparation for identifying themselves. They looked at each other and climbed the stone steps. There was an ornate gold door knocker and Olivia used it to give two sharp raps. A few seconds later, the door was opened by a man in his early fifties, wearing suit trousers and a white dress shirt, unbuttoned at the neck.

Olivia showed them her badge. "Mr. Wildsmith?" she asked. He nodded, his face impassive. "We're Detectives Benson and Stabler. May we come in and talk to you for a few minutes?"

His face seemed to fall, but he stepped aside so they could enter. "This is about Brian, isn't it?" he asked in a hoarse voice. "Something has happened to Brian."

"Is your wife at home?" asked Elliot, looking around. "We'd like to speak to both of you, if possible."

Even as he spoke, a tall blonde woman came through a swinging wooden door at the far end of the foyer, drying her hands on a dishtowel. "Donald?" she asked. She looked at the two detectives, and then back at her husband.

"These are detectives," said Mr. Wildsmith. "They need to talk to us."

He ushered them into a living room to the left of the foyer. He and his wife sat next to each other on the sofa. As he passed an end table on his way to an armchair opposite them, Elliot picked up a silver framed picture of a young man in a graduation cap and gown. He showed it to Olivia and then turned to the couple on the sofa.

"Is this a picture of your son?" he asked gently. He was thankful to not have to show them the picture taken in the ME's office. One of them would have to identify the body at some point, but at least then they'd have time to prepare themselves mentally. There was no doubt that the graduate in the picture was the man that had been found that morning.

"Yes," said the father, shakily. His wife still hadn't said a word, but sat with her hands folded in her lap, staring at Elliot with a look of expectant horror on her face. "What is this about?"

Elliot sat down on the edge of the chair across from them. "I'm very sorry to have to tell you this," he said softly. "But your son's body was found this morning on the Upper East Side."

Mrs. Wildsmith gasped and covered her mouth. Her husband looked stunned. "Body….I don't understand…what happened to him?"

"It appears that he was the victim of an assault," answered Elliot. "The medical examiner believes he died as a result of head trauma."

Mrs. Wildsmith let out a strangled sob. "I knew something was wrong when he didn't come home last night," she sobbed. "Donald said we had to wait, that he was young and maybe he was with friends and forgot to call. But he always calls—I knew there was something wrong."

Donald Wildsmith stood and walked across the room, running a hand through his hair. "Who did this?" he asked, his voice angry. "Why would anyone want to hurt Brian?"

"We don't know yet," said Olivia, her voice soft but firm. "But we'll do everything we can to find out and bring the persons responsible to justice."

"Do you have any idea what your son might have been doing on the Upper Eastside last night?" asked Elliot. "He was found on East 59th Avenue, in a residential neighborhood."

"He was working on some kind of article…."said the mother, her voice trailing off. "But I don't know why that would take him up there."

"An article? "Asked Elliot "Was your son a writer?"

"He's been freelancing." Explained Mr. Wildsmith, coming back to sit next to his wife. He took her hands in his. "He graduated from the Journalism School at Columbia this past May, but newspaper jobs are hard to come by right now. So he's been freelancing wherever he can."

"Do you know who he might have been working for most recently?" asked Elliot.

"I don't," said Mr. Wildsmith, turning to look at his wife. "Do you?"

She shook her head. "He never gave us many details. Last night he just said he was going out, and didn't know when he'd be back." She looked at Olivia helplessly. "We try to give him his space. He went to school for six years and now can't find a job doing what he wants. We know he's not thrilled to be living at home with his parents, so we try not to hover over him too much."

"Of course not," murmured Olivia. How many parents had she listened to as they bemoaned their lack of involvement in the children's lives after that fact? Still, this young man had been twenty-four, too old to be reporting to his parents. At 24, Elliot had a wife and two children.

They left the grief-stricken parents after making arrangements for them to come make a positive identification of their son's body the next morning. The Wildsmith's had allowed them to look at their son's room and take his laptop computer to see if there were any clues as to who he might have been working for at the time of his death.

"So what do you think?" asked Elliot, when they were back on the road. "Maybe he was doing an investigative piece about closeted politicians?"

"Maybe," said Olivia. "Let's get the laptop back to the station and let Mark take a look."

They dropped off the laptop and headed to the Tool Box on 2nd Ave. At just about eight o'clock, the bar wasn't very busy, but the bartender on duty admitted that he'd been there the night before. They showed him a picture of Brian Wildsmith that his parents had given them.

"Do you remember seeing this guy here last night?" asked Elliot. The bartender examined the picture and nodded. "Yeah, he was here. Sat on that stool right there," he nodded toward the end of the bar near the kitchen. "Just sat there until almost closing, nursing a few drinks. Lousy tipper."

"He talk to anybody?" asked Elliot.

"Nah, almost seemed like he was waiting for someone in particular. He didn't seem too comfortable being a gay bar. "Smirked the bartender, proud of his ability to pick out those who didn't fit in with his establishment. "Brushed off anyone who tried to talk to him."

"Anybody get upset about that?" asked Olivia.

"Hell, no." said the bartender. "Mostly regulars just trying to be friendly. We get a lot of first-timers in here, nervous as hell, not sure they want to be here or not. But the regulars leave them alone if they don't wanna talk."

"Did he leave alone?" asked Elliot. The bartender nodded. Elliot handed him a card and asked him to call if he thought of anything else and started to leave, then turned back. "Does Robert Addison ever come in here?" The bartender shrugged, and then answered, "Hey, I only know first names. Lots of Roberts come here—got a picture?"

"He's an aide to the Mayor," said Olivia. "You might have seen him in the newspapers or on TV."

The bartender's eyes widened, but he shook his head. "Nope, I don't know him."

"Sounds like Wildsmith might have been waiting to see if Addison showed up there," said Olivia when they got back outside. Elliot nodded. "And I think that bartender knows who Addison is; he just didn't want to say." Elliot nodded again.

"I say we talk to the Captain and go pay Addison a visit tomorrow," he said, opening the door to the car.

Olivia slid in. "Can you drop me off at Murphy's?" she asked Elliot. He looked at her in surprise. Murphy's was a pub around the corner from the station house, a hangout for off-duty cops. She pulled a lipstick out of her inner blazer pocket and flipped down the visor to apply it.

"What's going on at Murphy's?" asked Elliot, frowning.

"Nothing," said Olivia, blotting the lipstick with a tissue and turning to smile at him brightly. "I just thought I'd stop and see who's there. I don't feel like going home yet."


	16. Chapter 16

A Change in Course

Olivia stood in the door of Murphy's and let her eyes adjust to the gloom. Elliot had not been thrilled to drop her off by herself and had even offered to come in, which was unusual. She knew he was anxious to get home to Kathy and the kids.

"I'll be fine, Dad," she'd teased as she got out of the car. "I just want to have a drink or two to unwind and then I'll catch a cab home. See you in the morning."

Now she saw Fin sitting at the bar with a group of detectives that he used to work with in Narcotics. She walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned quickly, a seasoned cop's quick response to unexpected contact.

"Hey, Liv," he said, giving her a broad smile. He looked around to see who she'd come in with. "No Elliot? Must be on his way back to the burbs."

'Just me." she said. Fin made a gesture to the guy sitting next to him, who in turn elbowed the man at his side until they'd all slid down the bar a seat and there was a spot for Olivia.

Fin introduced her to the guys in the group, most of him whom she knew by sight. There was one unfamiliar face. Fin introduced him as the new guy to Narcotics, Declan O'Reilly. He was in his early thirties, with wavy dark hair and arresting green eyes. Olivia gave him a warm smile. She was glad she'd decided to stop.

The next morning, the two detectives filled Captain Cragen and the rest of the crew in on their progress with the Wildsmith case.

"Oh great, the Mayor's aide," said Cragen, shaking his head. "I might as well just put in a call to One PP now and chew myself out."

"I think we should talk to him," said Elliot. Olivia nodded in agreement. "Everything seems to indicate this kid was tailing Addison trying to get a story to out him. Maybe Addison caught on and made a preemptive move."

Cragen sighed. "Maybe," he agreed. "Are there any other possible leads to eliminate first? We don't want to tangle with the Mayor's office unless we're sure."

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and then shook their heads.

"Hold on a second," said Fin, walking over to his desk. He tapped his keyboard to bring his computer screen to life, and then poked around for a bit. "There was a homicide that same night, a few miles from where your Vic bought it. I heard from one of the guys last night that they just found out their vic was gay and now they're wondering if it they should classify it as a hate crime."

"Hate crime?" asked Olivia, coming to stand behind Fin. "But Brian Wildsmith wasn't gay, as far as we know." When searching Wildsmith's room, they'd noted several framed pictures of an attractive young brunette. The parents had told them it was Brian's girlfriend from Columbia, who lived out on the west coast. They hadn't seen each other in months.

"Maybe the perps didn't know that," replied Fin. "Him hanging out in gay bars and all."

The similarities between the two cases were striking-young male victim and multiple assailants, victim left in an alley down the block from a gay bar. There had been no ID on the victim so it had taken the detectives most of the day to track down who he was and find out he'd been gay and last seen in the bar.

"No rape," noted Olivia.

"Maybe they got interrupted on that one," added Munch. "Or refined their technique by the time they got to your guy."

The detectives didn't need to be told that this possible link needed to be explored before involving someone as connected as Addison. Cragen instructed them to update Dr. Warner and then head over to the 77th precinct to talk to the detectives who'd caught the other case.

"I was just about to call you," said Melinda when they walked in her office. "I finished the autopsy on Wildsmith a few minute ago."

"And?" asked Olivia, pulling out her pad.

"He was raped, but with an object, probably a cane. There indications that the object used had a wider tip than the rest of it."

"Like the rubber tip on the end of a cane," added Elliot.

Melinda nodded. "Exactly."

"We've got some leads that this might be related to another hate crime," explained Olivia.

"That would fit," sighed Melinda. "This was a very brutal attack. He was raped and then kicked to death. There's got to be a lot of anger going on to fuel that kind of brutality."

They filled Melinda in on the particulars of the second case. She promised to get in touch with the ME who'd handled that autopsy and compare notes.

"So how was Murphy's last night?" asked Elliot when they were in the car on the way to the 77th precinct. The two detectives with the hate crime were meeting them in a coffee shop near the precinct to compare notes.

"Okay," said Olivia. She smiled to herself as she thought about how the evening had ended, but she wasn't about to share that with Elliot, who could be Mr. Morality when he got on his high horse. "Fin was there with some guys from Narcotics. We hung out for a bit. I was in bed early."


	17. Chapter 17

Lucky

Kathy was watching Lizzie's soccer game and trying to contain a squirmy baby when Elliot appeared and slid onto the bleacher next to her. He had changed into jeans and a leather jacket and was wearing a baseball cap pulled low over his face. He looked incredibly handsome.

"You made it!" she exclaimed in surprise. Eli spotted his dad and reached out his arms. She'd reminded Elliot about the game that morning, but never expected that he'd actually make it, given the case they'd just picked up a new case the day before. "Does this mean you have to work later tonight?"

Elliot took the baby and dangled him in front of him, planting noisy kisses on both cheeks which made Eli laugh in delight. "Nope," he replied. "We broke the case. I'm done for the day."

"Really? What happened?" Kathy settled into her seat, keeping one eye on the game while Elliot updated her. After checking discretely around to be sure no one was in earshot, he explained about Fin discovering the similarities in the two murders. When evidence of the two cases was put together, especially the detail about the rape with a cane, the Homicide Detectives from the 77th precinct were able to come up with some suspects. They'd been following a group of prep school boys who'd been harassing gays on the Upper Eastside for months. One of them walked with a cane after a motorcycle accident a few months before. The key members of the group were rounded up and interviewed separately by the four detectives. It didn't take long to identify the weakest member of the group and get him to talk in exchange for leniency.

"So, if it weren't for Fin, you would have barged into the Mayor's office and started questioning Addison this morning?" laughed Kathy.

"Yeah," admitted Elliot. "When the two autopsies were entered into the computer, the similarities would have triggered an alert, but it would have been too late by then. It came down to Fin being in the right place at the right time last night to hear this other cop talking about a case he'd heard about. So much for computers and instant information."

"I'd say you owe Fin a drink or two," commented Kathy. Elliot nodded his in agreement. "If you'd tangled with Addison for nothing…."

"The mayor would have had my ass in a sling."

They watched the game in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Eli was content to sit on his father's lap and examine the various pockets and zippers on his jacket. It was a beautiful fall day, cool but sunny. It was peaceful to sit with his wife and baby and watch the kids play. Lizzie was a mid-fielder and her team was winning.

They were joined a few minutes later by Dickie, who'd just come from his own soccer practice. "Hey, Dad!" he exclaimed in surprise. Elliot felt a pang at the thought that his children always found his presence at routine events to be a surprise. At least they didn't take him for granted, he thought.

"Can I take Eli for a minute?" asked Dickie, reaching out for his brother.

"You want the baby?" asked Elliot suspiciously. Usually, they had to bribe the twins to help with their baby brother. They liked him okay, but considered their own lives way too busy and important to bother with a baby.

Dickie pointed toward a group of kids at the end of the soccer field. "I want to show him to my friends," he said, grinning broadly. Elliot took a closer look at noticed several girls among the group of boys coming from soccer practice to watch the game. "Ah, I get it," grinned Elliot, handing the baby over. "Babies are chick magnets."

Kathy watched anxiously as Dickie walked away, holding his brother up on his shoulder. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked.

Elliot laughed. "Maybe it will give him a new appreciation for his little brother." He turned to look at Kathy. The sun was shining off her blond hair. She looked happy and relaxed.

"What?" she asked him. He didn't say anything, but kept staring. "What?" she asked again, laughing uncomfortably. "Do I have baby food in my hair or something?"

"No," said Elliot softly, and put an arm around her to draw her close. "I was just thinking how long it's been, just the two of us, sitting on a set of bleachers together. You don't look any older than when we used to go to games in high school."

She elbowed him and turned back to watch the game. "You're crazy," she scoffed. "Or you need to get your eyes examined."

"Glasses wouldn't change how I see you," he said softly. "You're beautiful. Inside and out."

Kathy turned to him and smiled. "You're not so bad yourself."

They waited for Lizzie at the end of the game. She came off the field looking flushed and happy as her teammates congratulated each other on their victory.

"Daddy!" she squealed, giving him a hug. "Did you see my goal?"

"Sure did," he smiled down at her. "Go get your stuff—we're going out to Angelo's for pizza tonight."

"I'll be right back," she promised, and ran off with her team to the locker room. Elliot and Kathy looked at each other. Lizzie was so much easier than either Maureen or Kathleen had been at this age. Maureen would have insisted that pizza had too many calories; Kathleen would have begged to go somewhere with her friends. Maybe it was the fact that she was a twin, maybe watching her the rebellious years of her older sisters had turned her off from conflict. Whatever the reason, she and Dickie were both much mellower than their older siblings.

"We're lucky," said Elliot, wrapping his arms around Kathy from behind. Kathy leaned back against him and nodded.

"Gross," moaned Dickie. "Come on, guys—we're in public—my friends will see you!"


	18. Chapter 18

Trouble in Paradise

Elliot was in a foul mood. If he really stopped to think about it, he'd been in a funk for the past couple of days and it was becoming more and more difficult to hide it from everyone around him. What was pissing him off even more was that he couldn't pin down the reason how he felt. The case they were working on—a six year girl who had been sexually abused but nobody knew by whom—was eating away at him, but that wasn't unusual. Most of the cases they caught were like that. He'd learned how to how to handle it over the years. Olivia was also acting a little strange, more distant than usual, but that wasn't anything he hadn't dealt with before either. So what was his problem?

He came in the door for dinner and immediately tripped over the tail end of Dickie's long board, which was supposed to be kept in the garage. "Jesus Fucking Christ!" he muttered, a little too loudly as he grabbed at the wall to keep from losing his balance.

Kathy was in the living room, folding laundry while the baby played on the floor on a blanket. "Elliot!' she exclaimed, glancing at the baby. Of course Eli couldn't understand what his father had just said, but tone of his voice clearly communicated his anger. Eli was looking up from his spot on the floor, hovering on the edge of tears.

Elliot ignored Kathy and stormed over to the stairs. "Dickie!" he yelled, "Get your butt down here and pick up your damn skateboard! "

That settled it for Eli. Kathy scooped up the crying baby and turned to Elliot. "What is your problem, Elliot? Dickie's not even home."

"Well, why in hell is his damn skateboard right by the door? We've asked him a million times not to leave it there. I almost broke my neck. The baby could tip it over on top of himself…"

Kathy interrupted him. "It's THERE so you'd remember to drop it off at the shop for him." Her voice was evenly moderated so she didn't further upset the crying baby, but her blue eyes glared at her husband. "You promised him last week you'd do it and he thought if he put it where you'd see it, you'd remember!"

Eliot felt like a total ass, but something wouldn't let him admit it. He went to the refrigerator and took out a beer. "He could have put it in the back of my car," he grumbled, opening the bottle and taking a long swallow.

"And then you wouldn't notice and never drop it off," responded Kathy. She picked up one of Eli's toys and offered it to him. He accepted it, tears still shining in the bright blue eyes that were watching his father warily.

"Then I'll do it right now," said Elliot. He put down his beer, picked up the long board and slammed back out the door. The damn shop probably wasn't even open this late, but he needed some space. What the hell was wrong with him? He threw the long board into the passenger side of his car and backed out the driveway.

Olivia was surprised to see Elliot show back up at the station. He'd left to go home for dinner, planning to come back later and go through their interview transcripts again, trying to find some lead they could follow in this case.

He threw his folder onto the top of his desk, took of his coat and sat down hard.

"That was fast," said Olivia. She was going through the file herself, trying to pick up on any detail they might have missed. How could they have a six year old girl with clear physical and emotional signs of sexual abuse, and no possible suspects? The girl couldn't tell them a thing, just retreated inside of herself no matter how gentle the questioning. Wong said that her mind couldn't process what had happened to her and that they'd have to get information elsewhere until she felt safe enough to talk.

"Yeah," Elliot grunted noncommittally. He flipped open the file and started turning pages. They worked in silence for about twenty minutes, each making their own notes. When the clock turned seven, Olivia stood up and reached for her jacket.

"Where are you going?" asked Elliot. He looked at her with narrowed eyes. Olivia was usually the last person to leave the office on cases like this.

"I've got plans," replied Olivia coolly. "There's nothing else we can do tonight, so I'm going to keep them."

"Plans with who?" asked Elliot in surprise. "You didn't say anything about plans when I told you I'd be back."

"Came up while you were gone," said Olivia brusquely and then she was gone.

Elliot watched her walk out the door. She'd been acting weird for over a week now. Kathy told him she'd try to set up a lunch date with Olivia several times, but Olivia kept putting her off, saying she was too busy. They were busy, but with the hours they were putting in, Olivia could certainly afford to take a break for lunch if she wanted to.

Ah—Kathy. He should call her. He'd driven to the repair shop and found it still open. He'd intended turn around and go right back home, but found himself heading into the city instead. He just couldn't face sitting around the dinner table asking about school when he was in this state of mind. He reached for the phone and then stopped. By now, she'd be really pissed at him and he didn't want to hear it. He'd just deal with her when he got home.

It was after midnight. He let himself in quietly, hoping that the locked door and absence of lights meant that Kathy was already asleep. She wasn't. She was waiting on the couch in semi-darkness , give him a start when she quietly asked "Where have you been, Elliot? And don't say at the station, because I called there two hours ago."

He went over to the couch and sat down heavily next to here.

"I'm sorry, baby." He said, leaning in to give her a kiss. "I was an ass earlier and I…"

Her head snapped back and she pushed him away with the flat of her hand. "Are you drunk, Elliot?"

He sighed, rested his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. "Not drunk. Just had a few beers."

"And you drove home? You were out drinking and then you drove the car?"

"No!" His eyes snapped open. "My car is still at Fogarty's. I walked home."

Fogarty's was a neighborhood bar a few blocks from their house. Kathy looked at him, her eyes ablaze. When she finally spoke, her voice was frosty with anger.

"All this time I thought you'd gone back to work and you were…at Fogarty's…drinking?" she hissed.

"No, no," he tried to explain. "I did go back to the station. But then I decided to stop at Fogarty's on the way home for a quick one and…."

Kathy stood up abruptly. "Thanks so much for calling and letting me know where you were." She said coldly. "You can sleep right here." She said, and stormed out of the room.

Elliot watched her leave and slumped back against the couch. He knew better than to try to talk to her when she was this angry. It wasn't like he knew what to say to her anyway.


	19. Chapter 19

Revelation

Elliot woke up in the middle of the night, head pounding, back aching. In the distance he could hear Eli wailing. Why did he sound so far away? His bedroom was right next to theirs and usually they could hear him clear as a bell.

Then he remembered: the fight with Kathy, falling asleep on the couch. He closed his eyes again as a feeling of shame of washed over him, but the baby continued to cry. Evidently Kathy was not going to get him. Elliot pushed himself up off the couch, groaning as the pounding in his head increased in tempo. As he shuffled up the stairs, he realized that he was still fully clothed.

He picked the crying baby up and, putting him to his shoulder, headed to the rocking chair in the corner. Eli was getting better about sleeping through the night, but he still woke up several times a week. "Shush, shush, you're ok," Elliot crooned, rubbing his back in a circular motion. Eli gave one last hiccupping sob and nestled into his father's neck.

The next thing he knew, Kathy was roughly shaking his shoulder. "You'd better get in the shower before the twins get up." She said brusquely, taking the still sleeping baby from him. She turned and left the room.

Elliot stood, feeling aches in every one of his joints. Half the night on the couch and half the night in the rocking chair; he was getting way too old for this. He stumbled into the bathroom and shut the door quietly behind him. After a futile search of the medicine cabinet for aspirin, he turned the shower on to warm up and stripped off his rumpled clothes.

When he got downstairs, Kathy was sitting at the table in the kitchen, giving Eli a bottle. Elliot poured himself a cup of coffee and went to the cupboard for the aspirin. He thought he heard Kathy give a derisive snort as he shook a handful out of the bottle.

"What is going on with you, Elliot?" she asked when he sat down across from her. Her tone was soft for the baby's benefit, but her eyes were steely.

"I don't know, Kath," he said, forcing him to look her in the eye. "I was in a miserable mood and everything just got to me at once. I know I should have called…."

"I can't go through this again." The soft tone somehow made it worse. "I WON'T go through this again. You need to get your act together and get it together fast."

They were interrupted by the sound of Dickie thundering down the stairs. "Lizzie's taking forever in the bathroom," he moaned. "I'm going to be late."

"Use the shower downstairs," instructed his mother, busying herself with burping the baby. She didn't look at Elliot.

"But all of my stuff is UPSTAIRS," Dickie groaned, but headed toward the stairs to the family room in the basement. Elliot had installed a second bathroom down there a few years before when Maureen and Kathleen were teenagers and started spending inordinate amounts of time in the bathroom.

Elliot stood up. "I'd better get going," he said to Kathy's back as she rinsed Eli's bottle in the sink. She didn't turn around or acknowledge she'd heard him. He walked over and stood closely behind her, breathing in the scent of her hair. "I'm sorry." He said. "It won't happen again." Still, she didn't turn around.

His headache was mostly gone by the time he got to station. He was surprised that Olivia was not at her desk and asked Fin if he'd seen her.

"Not yet," said Fin, on his way to his desk with a cup of coffee. "But I saw her heading out with Declan last night, maybe they were out late."

"Declan?" asked Elliot. Fin gave him an odd look.

"Yeah, she's been hanging with Declan O'Reilly, the new guy over in narcotics." He said. "Didn't she tell you?"

Elliot sat down at his desk, his head suddenly spinning again. "Isn't he a lot younger?" He asked. Olivia was typically pretty private about her personal life, but Fin knew all about it, it evidently wasn't a state secret. Why hadn't she told him too?

"I don't know, I guess so." Said Fin. He sat down at his desk and turned on his computer. "The heart wants what the heart wants—isn't that what they say?"

Elliot suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He pushed away from his desk and headed to the locker room. He was standing at the sink, splashing water on his face when Olivia walked in, humming softly to herself. She looked happy and relaxed.

"Hey, El," she said, walking past him to put her coat in her locker. She stopped when she saw his face in the mirror. "You ok? You look a little rough."

"I'm fine," he growled, reaching for a paper towel to wipe his face dry. "How's Declan?"

Olivia stopped in her tracks and gave him a measured glance. "Declan?"

"Oh come on, Olivia!" Elliot spat out. "Evidently everyone in the station except me knows you're sleeping with the new boy toy."

Olivia's head snapped back. "Boy toy?" she asked, her eyes ablaze. "What the hell do you know about anything, Elliot? It's none of your business!"

"I'm your partner!" he yelled, getting in her face. He was angry, red hot angry and he didn't know why but it felt good to yell. "How do you think I feel, hearing about it from someone else?"

"It's none of your business," she repeated coldly. "Who I see is none of your damn business." She turned and left the locker room, slamming the door behind her.

Elliot gripped the sides of the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. Olivia was right; he looked rough. His eyes were bloodshot and his face looked grey. What was wrong with him? She was right; it wasn't any of his business. He had no right yelling at her, no wonder she didn't tell him anything. And why did he care who she was seeing?

He left the locker room and walked through the squad room, not looking at Fin or Olivia or any of the staff filtering in. Pushing through the front door, he stood outside in the cold air, taking deep breaths. Suddenly, he unclipped his cell phone from his belt and flipped it open. Scrolling through the phone numbers, he selected one and hit send.

"This is Elliot Stabler," he said when a voice picked up at the other end. "My wife and I have seen Dr. Cooper together in the past. I'd like to make an appointment for myself please."


	20. Chapter 20

Out of Balance

Elliot sighed and picked up the phone to call Kathy. Lizzie answered on the third ring, sounding out of breath. "Hey, sweetie, "he said lightly. "Were you upstairs?"

"Down in the family room with Eli," she said. "Mom's gone to the store and she's making me watch him cuz Dickie has too much homework. Like I don't!" Elliot could practically hear her eyes rolling as she related this to him. The baby was gurgling in the background and from the sounds of it, trying to grab the phone out of his sister's hand.

"I was just calling to tell mom I won't be home for dinner tonight," said Elliot.

"Again, Dad?" Lizzie asked. "You weren't home last night either. We haven't seen you in days!"

"I know. But I promise I'll be home before you go to bed tonight. I have an….appointment at 6 and I'll be home right after."

"Ok, but you'd better be—I want to show you my 5 week report. It's WAY better than Dickie's."

"Okay, okay," Elliot laughed. As close as the twins were, they could also be determined rivals. "I'll see you in awhile. Don't forget to tell your mom."

As he hung up the phone, Elliot looked at his watch. Dr Cooper's office was in Queens which meant he'd have to leave the precinct in the next fifteen minutes to get there on time. She had offered to squeeze him in at the end of her regular day when he'd spoken to her earlier and she realized how stressed out he was. He and Kathy had stopped marriage counseling shortly after Eli was born. In the early weeks of their sessions, she had met with each of them separately and was familiar with their individual issues. Elliot hoped that background would help her help him figure out what was going on with him now. Kathy was right; they absolutely could not go back to where they'd been before and survive.

Olivia had left about an hour before after a day of speaking to him only when necessary. He wasn't especially fond of or comfortable with the therapy process, but when both of the women in his life were not speaking to him, he knew that he needed to straighten up his act. Kathy was going to be even angrier when he wasn't home for dinner, but hopefully she would understand when she found out where he'd been.

He stopped in the Captain's office on his way out to let him know that he and Olivia were gone for the day. Munch and Fin were up next for cases; he and Olivia were still in a stalemate with their young abuse victim.

"Everything okay with you, Elliot?" asked the Captain when Elliot was done talking. "You've seemed a bit on edge the last few days."

Elliot paused, considering how much to say. Cragen was a good at figuring people out, but this was a personal matter. "I'm fine." Elliot replied. "I'll be even better when we figure out who's messing with this little girl."

"You and me both," said Cragen.

Grabbing his jacket, he headed out of the station and picked up his car. He turned the CD player up and headed toward the Queensboro Bridge. As difficult as the commute to Queens could be, he appreciated the down time. It was the only time he ever got to be alone and organize his thoughts. He sang along quietly to Jackson Browne as he thought about what he would say to Dr. Cooper. "Hey, Doc—I think I'm losing my mind? I'm being an asshole to everyone I care about and I don't know why?"

He arrived at the office building a few minutes early and sat in the car, waiting until it was closer to six. He realized again how much he hated this whole process, especially being here without Kathy. With a sigh, he got out of the car and headed into the office, putting his cell phone on vibrate on the way.

Dr. Cooper's office was on the bottom floor of a modern office building. The receptionist in the lobby had gone home for the day and Elliot had to buzz the intercom outside of Cooper's office to be allowed entry. The set-up allowed customers to come in one entrance and leave by another so no one ever saw it other, which Elliot liked. He was the person who usually helped others; he didn't like to think of himself as someone who needed help. Still, he had to admit that Dr. Cooper had gotten him and Kathy through a difficult period. Without her help, he wasn't sure they'd still be married. He was counting on her to help him again.

Dr. Cooper was in her sixties, a pleasant, soft-spoken woman who always dressed in suits. She buzzed Elliot in and then met him at the door to her inner office.

"Elliot, it's good to see you," she said warmly, taking his hands in hers for a moment. She looked into his eyes and added "But you don't look very good. Come in and let's get started."

Her office was divided into two areas: a desk with a computer and telephone on one side of the room and a small sofa and several comfortable chairs on the other. She took a seat in one of the chairs and motioned for Elliot to do the same.

"How are Kathy and the children?" she asked, settling into her seat. She brought no files to look at or pad of paper for taking notes. It was as if they were two friends sitting down for a catch-up chat.

"They're good," said Elliot. "Kathy is planning to start taking classes in January, start working on a degree in counseling."

Dr. Cooper smiled. "I think that's a good match for her. And how do you feel about it?"

Elliot leaned forward, his hands twisted together between his knees. "I think it's great. At first, I wasn't sure—I mean, the baby will have to spend some time in day care and I'm not crazy about that. But I'm glad Kathy is doing something that she wants to do—she deserves that. We'll work out the details."

Dr. Cooper nodded. "That sounds like a reasonable attitude, Elliot. It's a big step for Kathy to take after all of these years of being at home. She'll need your support."

Elliot nodded in agreement. They sat there in silence for a few moments, and then Dr. Cooper asked "So what brings you here tonight, Elliot? You sounded very stressed on the phone."

Elliot hunched forward even further, staring miserably down at his hands. "I don't know….things have been going great between Kathy and I, better than ever. Until the last week or so and then….it's me…I've been in a miserable mood. Every little thing bugs me and I snap at people and ….I've been falling back into old habits. Working late. Going out after work. Not calling to tell Kathy I'll be late. "

"Sounds like you have something on your mind that you're avoiding thinking about," said Dr. Cooper gently. "What else is going on in your life? Is anything different? Have you had any changes at work?"

Elliot shook his head. "That's just it, there's nothing different. Olivia and I, we're working a tough case right now, a really frustrating one, but that's not unusual."

"Can you tell me about the case?" asked Dr. Cooper.

Elliot gave her a summary. A week ago, they'd been notified by a school nurse that a kindergarten student showed symptoms of sexual abuse. She'd been asking to go to the nurse's office frequently, complaining of stomach aches. Her teacher reported that she was withdrawn and flinched when adults came near her. She'd had an accident one day, and when the nurse was helping her change clothes, noticed bruises on her inner thighs. She'd been taken to the hospital where a physical exam showed signs of repeated sexual abuse. Elliot and Olivia had interviewed everyone connected with the girl and come up dry. Her single mother had no boyfriend; the child went to an afterschool program with all female staff. The girl herself would say nothing what had happened to her, and if pressed, became even more withdrawn.

"That must be very frustrating," said Dr. Cooper. "I know that cases with children are especially hard for you."

"Yeah, of course," said Elliot, turning up his hands in a helpless gesture. "I see a kid who's been hurt and I think of my own kids and how I'd feel if anything happened to them. But this is nothing new—we see hundreds of cases with kids every year. I deal with it."

"But you haven't been able to solve this one." Commented Dr. Cooper. "You haven't been able to help this child."

"Right," said Elliot. "And that's bugging the hell out of me. I want to catch whoever did this and make sure the bastard never does it again. But I know we'll eventually catch a break—something will turn up or the girl will eventually feel safe enough to talk."

"How is your partner handling it?" asked Dr. Cooper.

Elliot shrugged. "She's frustrated too. Olivia—she's been weird lately. We've had some problems."

Dr. Cooper leaned forward. "What kind of problems? You've been partners for a long time."

Elliot thought for a minute or two. "Olivia and me—we've always been close," he began. "You know that. Kathy used to feel threatened by it. "

"She doesn't feel threatened anymore?" asked Dr. Cooper with interest.

"No, she actually invited Olivia to our house for dinner a few weeks ago." Explained Elliot.

"And how did that go?"

"Good, I guess. It was a little weird—they almost got along too well." Dr. Cooper waited for Elliot to continue. "They drank a lot, and were talking about me when I was out of the room."

"I imagine that made you feel a bit uncomfortable," observed the doctor.

Elliot laughed. "Yeah, little bit! I'm so used to keeping my personal and work lives separate, it felt a little strange to have both Kathy and Olivia together."

"Is that when things started getting "weird" between you and Olivia?"

"No…..well, I don't know. A few days later, Olivia asked me if I ever thought of her as anything but a partner." Elliot admitted.

"How did you respond to that?"

"I told her no. I think Olivia is a beautiful woman and any guy would be lucky to have her, but she's my partner. I don't think of her that way. I love my wife."

"What was Olivia's response?"

Elliot recounted the rest of the conversation. Dr. Cooper thought for a few minutes and then asked: "Were things awkward between you after that talk?"

"No, not really. But Olivia started getting….I don't know…more distant. We've always kept the nitty gritty details of our personal lives to ourselves, but usually she'd tell me if she was dating someone. Then today, Fin lets slip that she's sleeping with one of the new guys in the precinct, someone who's a lot younger than her. She never said a word to me about him. I didn't even know she knew him."

"That must have been awkward," commented to Dr. Cooper. "To find out something personal about your partner from someone else."

"Yes," said Elliot. "But that's how she's been for the last couple of weeks. Going out after work and being secretive about her plans. I'm not her husband; she doesn't have to tell me anything. But usually, she would."

"Did you say anything to Olivia about what Fin told you?"

"Yes, and she blew up at me. Told me it was none of my business."

Dr. Cooper sat quietly for a few minutes, her hands steepled in front of her face. It was obvious that she was thinking about how to present something to Elliot.

"Elliot," she began after awhile. "This is what I'm hearing from you. Things are stressful at work, but no more so than usual. The only real change has been in your relationship with Olivia."

"I guess," said Elliot. "I don't know if there's been a change exactly. Things are just awkward right now."

"And they became awkward after Olivia had dinner at your house?"

Elliot nodded. "I guess that's when it started."

Dr. Cooper leaned forward. "This is what I think, Elliot. You have a very stressful job, one that many people would not be able to handle. You've been in that job for a long time. One of the ways you have dealt with the stress of the job is by becoming very close with your partner. You rely on the relationship to help you cope. This is very common in police work. "

She paused and looked at Elliot and he nodded. "I'm with you so far," he said, smiling.

"In your case, you have added complications." She went on. "Your partner is a woman. You're married. You have obligations that other members of your unit do not—haven't you told me in the past that you are the only detective in your unit who has a family?"

Elliot nodded, starting to look puzzled.

"So your coping mechanism has been to separate the areas of your life. Again, not unusual and it has worked well for you. But now—things are shifting in your life. The two areas that were always separate—your relationship with your wife and that with your partner—have begun to merge."

Elliot frowned. "So I have to tell Kathy and Olivia that they can't be friends."

"No, not necessarily." Said Dr. Cooper. "Change is not always a bad thing. I imagine in some ways it would be good for everyone if Kathy and Olivia were more comfortable with each other. "

"I thought so," said Elliot. "I've always hated the tension between them."

"However, change is difficult at first, especially when it is change in a coping mechanism. My guess s that you are feeling unsettled because things are out of order in your life. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Said Elliot. "But it doesn't explain why Olivia has been so weird lately."

Dr. Cooper shrugged. "I imagine this is hard for Olivia too." She said. "It's a change in balance for her as well, even if it is a welcome balance. " She hesitated for a moment, and then plunged on. "I also wonder if Olivia isn't dealing with some change in her feelings-for you."

"What do you mean?" asked Elliot, looking at her blankly.

"The questions she asked you, beginning to date someone and keeping it a secret, this indicates to me that Olivia may be trying to distance herself from some sexual feelings she might have felt for you."

"But she said…she said she didn't have those feelings for me." spluttered Elliot. "That was the whole point of that conversation."

"I also find your reaction to her dating someone so close to "home" in matter of speaking, someone younger than she is, to be interesting." Observed Dr. Cooper. "One might think that you are jealous."

Elliot's head snapped back. "Jealous?" he asked. "I've told you—I don't feel that way about her. I love my wife. You know that! How many months did we spend in this room? Kathy is everything to me."

Dr. Cooper raised her hand. "Hear me out. Not jealous in terms of you wanting a sexual relationship with Olivia. But perhaps jealous of the intimacy she now has with someone else and at a time when you are feeling a little vulnerable because things are changing in your relationship."

Elliot stood up and began pacing around the room. "I don't know," he said. "This is all very confusing."

Dr. Cooper stood as well. "Why don't you take some time and think about what I've said. We'll make another appointment and talk again next week."

Elliot sighed, then nodded and waited while she flipped through her calendar for an open slot. They agreed on a time and she walked him to the door.

"Your assignment for the next week is to relax a little," said the doctor. Elliot laughed. "Seriously, just relax. Think about what we've talked about, but don't obsess about it. Sit back and-let yourself feel things. Try to decide if what I have suggested is right."

Elliot nodded and turned to leave. She put her hand on his arm. "And Elliot—one more thing." He looked at her, questioningly. "This will all be fine. You're a good man. You care about the people in your life. You care about your job. Achieving balance is always a difficult task, but I know you will do just that, if you allow yourself."

"Thanks, Dr. Cooper." He said, his voice hoarse. "I'll see you next week."


	21. Chapter 21

Chaos

Elliot got into his car and sat. His head was filled with a tornado of conflicting thoughts. Dr. Cooper was crazy. Dr. Cooper was right on. Some of what she said made sense. None of what she said made sense. He looked at the clock on the dash; it was shortly after seven. Eli was typically ready for bed by eight and he wanted to be home in time to do that and give Kathy a break. But he desperately needed to clear his mind first.

He started the car and headed toward home. When he passed Fogarty's Pub, he impulsively pulled into the parking lot. Just one beer: it would give him time to relax and settle down before walking into the chaos that was home.

He was glad to see that the bar was mostly empty. He took a stool at the end of the bar and asked for a draft. The bartender, a young man he recognized from the neighborhood, commented: "Haven't seen you in here for months and now two nights in a row?"

Elliot grimaced and took the beer. "It's been a rough week," he admitted. "But I won't be staying long tonight."

The bartender nodded knowingly and extended his hand. "Hank," he stated. Elliot reciprocated with his hand and first name.

"You're a cop, aren't you?" asked Hank, as he wiped down the already clean bar. Elliot sensed that he was bored and looking for some conversation. The only other customers were on the other side of the bar, playing pool. They had a pitcher of beer on a nearby table and didn't look like they'd be needing service anytime soon.

"Yeah, in Manhattan," replied Elliot vaguely. "Not around here."

"You must see a lot of crap then," commended Hank.

"Lots of crap," agreed Elliot. "It's all part of the job."

"I thought about applying to the Academy," confided Hank. "But I've got a temper—I don't know if I could stop myself from beating the hell out of some lowlife if he pissed me off."

"It's tempting sometimes," agreed Elliot, thinking of all of the times he'd lost it with perps. He wasn't going to admit that to this kid. He suddenly remembered that he'd put his cell phone on vibrate and pulled it off his belt to turn it back on. Two calls from Kathy—how had he missed those? Oh well, he was close enough to home now to just go find out what she wanted. He drained his beer and stood up.

"Nice talking to you, Hank," he said. "I think you're right to stay away from police work."

Elliot could hear the baby crying before he even opened the door from the garage. Kathy was in the living room, holding him and pacing. She turned to glare at him when she heard the door.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" She hissed. "He's teething and we're out of baby Tylenol. I wanted you to stop at the store."

"I forgot it was on vibrate," said Elliot, taking off his coat and putting it in the closet. He crossed the floor and reached for the baby. "Here, let me take him. You go to the store and get the Tylenol." As he took the baby, Kathy leaned in close to his face, sniffing.

"Have you been drinking again?" she asked incredulously. "THAT's why you were late? So you could stop at the bar?"

"No." he said, "I'll explain later, let's get him settled and in bed and then we can talk."

She gave him a long, appraising look and went to get her own coat. She closed the door with a little more force than was necessary. Elliot winced. He was tired and sore from the previous night on the couch. His head was starting to ache again. And it looked like it was going to be a long night.

He distracted Eli with a bath and his favorite toys while Kathy was gone. Lizzie sat on the toilet and read him both her and Dickie's five week reports as he played with the baby.

"They're both great," agreed Elliot. "I'm proud of both of you."

"Yeah, but MY teacher's had nicer comments," Lizzie pointed out. "All Dickie's said was that he was current on all assignments. My English teacher said I was "a pleasure to have in class"."

Elliot smiled to himself. Women always had to have one up, didn't they? "That's very nice, sweetie." He agreed. "Could you pass me a towel for your brother?"

When Kathy got back from the store, Elliot was trying to give the baby a bottle. It was obvious that his gums were bothering him; he'd suck at the bottle for a minute, then pull away and cry in frustration. Elliot had been tempted to try his mother's old trick of rubbing whiskey on the sore spots, but didn't think anything involving alcohol would go over big with Kathy right then.

Kathy walked into the room and handed Elliot the dropper of medicine without saying a word. As she turned to leave, Elliot reached out for her wrist. "Hey," he said, pulling her gently back to him. She looked at him, her expression blank. "I'm sorry for the past few days," he said softly. "Let me get him to sleep and go hang out with the twins for a few minutes, then we'll talk, okay?"

Kathy looked down at him for a long minute, then nodded and left the room.

It took a long time for the Eli to settle down enough to fall asleep and by then, Elliot was ready to nod off himself. He sat in the rocking chair with the sleeping baby on his shoulder, so tempted to rest his head on the back of the chair and close his eyes. Forcing himself up, he gently laid the baby in his crib, tucking his favorite stuffed dog in next to him. They were trying to get him to "attach" to an object he could use to comfort himself when he woke up during the night, but so far, he still preferred the company of one of his parents.

Elliot walked down the hall to the closed door of Dickie's room and knocked. There was no answer; the kid was undoubtedly plugged into his iPod. He knocked harder and opened the door a crack. Dickie was sitting on his bed, a textbook in front of him, bopping his head to the music Elliot could hear across the room, despite his earphones. He looked up and smiled when Elliot entered the room.

"Hey, Dad," he said happily. "You're home."

"You're gonna go deaf," chided Elliot, reaching for the iPod and looking for the volume control. Dickie laughed and took it back.

"Lizzie showed me your five week report," said Elliot. "Very nice."

Dickie shrugged and rolled his eyes. "But not as good as HERS," he mimed in a falsetto. Elliot laughed.

"It was fine. Hey—I dropped your skateboard…"

"Long board," Dickie corrected.

"...off at the shop," Elliot continued. "They said they'd have to order a new pair of wheels so it won't be ready until next week. Remind me to stop in and check on it."

"I will," Dickie agreed. "Thanks, Dad."

After a discussion of how coach was using the wrong players in the wrong positions in soccer, Elliot excused himself and went to Lizzie's room. Her door was open, but he saw that she was on the phone, animatedly talking to a friend. He held up his hand to indicate that he wouldn't interrupt and went downstairs to face Kathy. It was time to face the music.

She was sitting on the couch in the living room in semi-darkness, sipping a glass of wine. Kathy rarely drank, and Elliot winced inwardly when he saw the half-empty bottle on the table next to her.

"Hey," he said, sitting down on the edge of the couch so he was facing her. "Long day?"

She nodded, avoiding his gaze. He reached out to take her free hand and held in his for a minute. She turned to face him. "What's going on, Elliot?" she asked, her voice so low he could barely hear her.

Elliot sighed. "I don't know, Kathy." He admitted. "I know I've been an ass the last few days. I'm sorry. I've been in a lousy mood and I'm taking it out on everyone else. Olivia's mad at me too."

Kathy laughed derisively. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? Is that why she isn't returning my calls?"

"I don't know," Elliot shrugged. "Olivia's been weird lately. I guess she's seeing someone new, another cop and maybe that's got her preoccupied."

Kathy looked at him more closely. "Does that bother you, that she's seeing someone?"

"It bugged me that I heard it from Fin before she ever told me," Elliot admitted. "But no, if she's seeing someone and she's happy, I'm happy for her."

"So why are you so miserable?" Asked Kathy. "Is it something here at home?" She sounded sad and discouraged.

"No!" exclaimed Elliot, grasping her hand more tightly. He moved closer to her on the couch. "It's nothing like that. I…..it's just…..I don't know….everything at work….." He looked at her helplessly and sighed. "The reason I was late tonight was because I went to see Dr. Cooper."

"Dr. Cooper?" Now Kathy looked truly alarmed. "Do you mean our marriage counselor Dr. Cooper?"

"Yes, but not because of anything to do with US," he assured her. He looked away, trying to compose his thoughts. He wasn't ready to discuss the things Dr. Cooper had raised with him. "I was stressed out." He tried to explain. "She's the only therapist I know, outside of work. She knows me, she knows us. I thought it might be good to talk things over with her."

Kathy looked at him appraisingly. "Wow." She finally said. "I'm….impressed. I know how you feel about therapists."

Elliot shrugged. "I don't want to slide back into the way things used to be," he admitted. "She helped us before; I thought she could help me now." He sat back, leaning his head against the back of the couch. Kathy set her glass down and rested her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"Oh, Elliot," she sighed. "When you started snapping at everyone and staying out late, I panicked."

"I know," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "I think I did too, and that just made me feel worse."

They sat quietly for a few minutes. "So, was she able to help?" asked Kathy from her spot on his shoulder. She didn't look up at his face.

"I guess so. We talked a bit and she wants me to come back next week." He tipped up her chin to look at him. "Is that okay with you?"

She laughed. "Okay? I think it's great."

Elliot sighed and pulled her onto to his lap, burying his head in her hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I'm sorry I worried you."

Kathy stroked his face and looked into his eyes. "You look like hell." She stated after a long moment, and then began to laugh. "I think you need some beauty sleep."


	22. Chapter 22

Making Up

Elliot woke up, smiling to himself when he realized he was in his own bed and not on the couch again. God, it felt good to be in bed. He'd slept like a rock. Stretching, he looked at the clock. It was a little before six; Eli would be waking up any minute. He'd lie here and relax until then.

"You slept good," commented Kathy from the other side of the bed. Elliot rolled over and looked at her in surprise. Kathy was not a morning person and rarely got up before her alarm.

"Hey," he said, giving her a kiss. "Why are you awake?"

She laughed. "I just put Eli back to sleep. He's been up since 4."

Elliot looked dismayed. "I never heard him—I'm sorry—. " He started to get out of bed to go check on the baby, but Kathy stopped him.

"He's fine, Els, he's sound asleep," she assured him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled in close. She pressed herself up against his morning erection and kissed his neck. Elliot groaned in pleasure.

"I'll be right back," he whispered, pulling himself out of her embrace and heading for the bathroom. After the fun task of urinating with an erection, he rinsed his mouth in the sink and looked in the mirror. There were still faint circles under his eyes, but at least they were no longer bloodshot. He walked back to the bed, after a detour to close their bedroom door and a stop to fish for a condom from his stash hidden at the back of his nightstand drawer. He knew how curious teenagers could be and didn't feel like his kids needed to know the details of their parent's sex lives.

"Never mind that," whispered Kathy, taking the condom out of his hand and tossing it. "Diaphragm on duty."

Elliot laughed. "You were pretty sure of yourself, weren't you?" He pulled her close to him and slipped his hand under the t-shirt she wore to bed, one of his if he wasn't mistaken.

"I've never known you to turn down sex," she laughed. "Eli will sleep for awhile now; he's exhausted. And the twins won't be up for half an hour."

"Then let's get busy," grinned Elliot.

Elliot was waiting for Olivia when she walked up to the station. He handed her the cup of cappuccino he'd brought for her and motioned to a nearby bench. "Can we sit and talk for a minute before we go in?" he asked.

Olivia took the coffee and sighed but walked over to sit on the bench. She busied herself removing the lid and taking a sip.

"I'm sorry I was such an ass yesterday," said Elliot. "It's none of my business who you date and I sure as hell shouldn't have called Declan your boy toy."

"Damn straight," said Olivia, still not looking at him.

"I've been in a lousy mood lately anyway and then hearing about you and Declan from Fin—it just set me off." Olivia still said nothing. "Why didn't you tell me yourself, Liv?"

She looked at him for the first time. "Because I didn't want to hear comments about how I shouldn't be dating someone on the force—OR about how young he is. I KNOW he's younger than me, okay? I know."

Elliot shrugged and grinned. "Hey, if he wants to date an old broad, that's none of my business."

Olivia looked at him, her mouth agape, and then laughed in spite of herself. She gave Elliot a shrug on the shoulder and shook her head.

"I don't know, El," she said. "I guess I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure myself it was a good idea."

"How did Fin know?" asked Elliot casually. That was still the sticking point with him; not that Olivia felt the need for privacy, but that he'd been the last to know.

Olivia looked him. "Fin introduced us." She said bluntly. "That night I had you drop me off at Murphy's. Fin was hanging with the guys from Narcotics. Then he saw us leaving together the other night and did the math, I guess. I never told him anything."

Elliot shook his head and laughed. "God, I've been a jerk," he commented, mostly to himself.

They sat in companionable silence, sipping their coffee and enjoying the fall sunshine. Other officers were beginning to arrive and enter the precinct, but other than nods and hellos, left them alone, probably figuring they were discussing a case.

"So, what's he like?" asked Elliot. Olivia looked at him appraisingly.

"He's nice," she said after awhile. "Irish—you'd like him." She laughed to herself. "And young."

"Is that really such a bad thing?" asked Elliot.

Olivia shrugged. "I just keep thinking—if this goes anywhere—and it's way too early to even guess about that—he's going to want kids."

"You're not too old to have kids," said Elliot. "You know that Kathy was over 40 when we had Eli."

"Yeah, and I remember how you worried through the whole pregnancy," retorted Olivia.

"I'm just sayin', it's not impossible." Elliot replied. "I've told you before; you'd be a great mother."

Olivia sighed and stood up. "We'd better get inside before Cragen has a cow."


	23. Chapter 23

A Break

Elliot's desk extension rang, startling him out of the case folder that he was reviewing for the third time in an effort to find something they'd missed. _What now?_ He snatched up the receiver: "Stabler."

"Hi, honey"._ Kathy_. Elliot leaned back in his chair, smiling. "Hey," he replied. "What's up?"

"Thanks for letting me sleep in this morning," said Kathy. He could hear the smile in her voice. "Did the twins give you a hard time about getting up?"

"Not at all," Elliot assured her. "I think they were so surprised that I was home and making breakfast that they didn't know what to do." He'd gotten the twins off to school while Kathy slept. Before he left for work, he moved the baby monitor to her nightstand so she'd hear Eli when he woke up.

Kathy laughed. "Well, it was nice to get some sleep."

"It was the least I could do," said Elliot softly. He looked around to be sure Fin and Munch weren't listening. Olivia was out picking up lunch. "After the nice wake- up call this morning."

Kathy laughed again. "Really—when is the last time we had morning sex?"

"It's been awhile," agreed Elliot. "How's Eli doing? Are his gums still bothering him?"

"That's why I called," said Kathy. "I'm taking him to the doctor in a few minutes."

"What's wrong?" asked Elliot, sitting up straight.

"I think it's more than just his teeth," replied Kathy. "He's running a temp and rubbing his ears. Maybe he's got an ear infection."

"No wonder he didn't sleep last night," said Elliot. They'd been down this road many times before with the older kids; Maureen especially had suffered from constant ear infections when she was a toddler. Elliot could remember many sleepless nights of pacing the floors with a crying baby and, because she was their first, wondering what they were doing wrong that she got sick so often. Just went they thought all that was behind them—along came Eli. He sighed. "Call me after the appointment and let me know, ok?"

"I will," promised Kathy. "But I'm going to be running late, his appointment isn't until 4—do you think you could pick up some pizza for dinner? I'll leave the twins a note in case I'm not back by the time they get home."

"Sure," said Elliot. "I'll call and see what they want before I order."

He hung up the phone, and rubbed his eyes. He loved his youngest son with all of his heart. There hadn't been a moment of doubt in his mind when Kathy told him she was pregnant again. This baby had brought them back together and he'd always be special because of that. But, man oh man, he didn't always enjoy going through all of the drama that came with babies again. He and Kathy had become parents at such a young age; he always thought they'd have plenty of time for themselves when the kids were grown. Here they were—starting all over again.

Olivia came back with take-out bags of sandwiches and coffee. Fin came over from his desk to pick up his order. Munch rarely ordered out with them, claiming that it was impossible to know if the restaurants had followed health and safety standards when preparing the food. He cited examples of restaurant staff who loved to retaliate against cops by spitting in their food. He usually brought something from home.

They were all eating at their desks when Wong strolled in. "I just got a call from the counselor at Amy's school," he told Olivia and Elliot, referring to the six year old whose abuser they couldn't identify. "She says she drew some interesting pictures in her session today and wants you to come take a look."

Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances. This might be the break they needed. "We'll head right over," said Olivia, throwing the rest of her sandwich in the trash. Elliot looked regretfully at the remainder of his meatball sub and did the same. It was time to close this case.

Olivia drove to the school. Elliot didn't protest; it was nice to have things on an even keel again. Instead he used the time to center himself and think about their upcoming visit.

"What do you think she drew?" he asked Olivia. "It must be significant if the counselor wants us to come over instead of just telling us about it."

"I don't know," Olivia shrugged. "Hopefully she drew a picture of her attacker."

They pulled up in front of the school. It was early afternoon on a sunny fall day and there were children on the field next to the playground. As they walked up the sidewalk, Olivia elbowed Elliot and nodded toward the field. A small figure had detached from the group and was watching them. It was Amy.

Once in the school, they went to the office and asked for the counselor. School policy dictated that Mrs. Greenberg come down to get them. Anyone not on staff had to be escorted through the halls. As a parent, Elliot was glad to see such precautions in place. Gone were the days when a parent could walk in a school and drop a lunch off directly to a forgetful child, but in this climate of school shootings and violence, the trade off was worth it.

Greenberg, a young woman in her twenties with long blond hair, arrived to meet them within minutes. She must have been waiting for the call.

"I've been seeing Amy daily for the past week," she told them. "I bring her in and don't pressure her; we just play with dolls or color. I've been trying to get her to trust me and feel safe so she'll feel comfortable opening up."

"And today she drew something that you think is relevant?" Asked Elliot as they arrived at the counselor's office.

Greenberg motioned for them to sit in chairs in front of her desk and picked up a piece of construction paper from her desk. "See what you think."

Elliot and Olivia studied the drawing. It was the work of a five-year old and understandably crude, but there were clearly two figures—a little girl and what appeared to be a woman. The bigger figure was standing over the little girl, holding a long, thin object and holding the smaller figures arm.

"Do you have any idea who the adult is in the picture?" Asked Olivia.

"She's still not talking at all," said Mrs. Greenberg. "But when I ran through a list of women in her life—her teacher, her grandmother, her mother—she nodded and got very upset when I got to her mother."

The two detectives exchanged glances. They'd never even considered the mother, assuming it had to be a man who was abusing the child. Amy's mother seemed like the perfect parent, kind and gentle with her daughter, refusing to allow the police to press her for more information when she became upset.

"What about the thing in the mother's hand?" asked Elliot. "Any idea what that's supposed to be?"

"No," admitted the counselor. "She was already so upset that I didn't want to push her."

"We'll need to take this," said Olivia, standing up. "Don't say anything to anyone about this yet, especially not her mother."

"I won't," promised Greenberg. "Please let me know what you find out. It breaks my heart to see this little girl in this condition."

"Let's go show this to Huang," suggested Olivia as they walked back to the car.

"We need to talk to the ER doc too," added Elliot. "See if the injuries could have been made by an object, instead of a….penis." He shook his head, still not believing that they had overlooked the mother. They were so sure it was a man that they didn't look hard enough at what was right in front of them.

"It's not as common, but it's possible" said Huang, when they showed him the picture and asked his opinion. "Female abusers are more likely to target male children, but perhaps the mother was a victim of this kind of abuse herself. "

"We've met the grandmother—she watches her after school." Said Elliot. "Seems like a nice woman."

Olivia looked at him. "That's what we thought about the mother too.

A call to the ER doctor who'd examined Amy confirmed that the physical scars could have been caused by an object instead of penetration by a person. "There were no fluids present," he said. "Just enough scarring to indicate she'd been repeatedly penetrated with force. I guess I just assumed it was by a man."

"We all did." Said Elliot, hanging up the phone and turning to Olivia. "Let's see if we can get a search warrant and find whatever the hell she used before we talk to the mother. It will give us some ammunition to break that perfect mommy routine."


	24. Chapter 24

Baptism

The ADA was reluctant to pursue a search warrant based on a child's drawing, but with Huang's help, Elliot and Olivia persuaded her to try. If this child was being abused by her own mother, it was important that they get enough evidence to have her removed from the home immediately. Fortunately, she found a judge who was amenable and within a few hours, the detectives were on their way to the small apartment where Amy lived with her mother.

They were knocking on the door of the building super's apartment with the warrant in hand when Elliot's cell phone rang. Caller ID showed that it was Kathy.

"It's an ear infection," Said Kathy, sounding tired and stressed. Elliot could hear the baby fussing in the background. "I'm just on my way to the pharmacy to fill his prescription. Can you still pick up pizza on the way home?"

"Kath, I'm sorry," began Elliot. "Listen, we just got a break in that case I was telling you about, the little girl…."

Kathy sighed. "It's ok, Elliot, I'll stop on my way home."

"Just call Angelo's and order it to be delivered," urged Elliot. Usually he insisted that Kathy not order take-out to be delivered when he wasn't home; the paranoid cop in him felt that it made his family too vulnerable to have strangers at his door when he wasn't home. But Angelo's was a neighborhood restaurant; they knew all of the staff and the delivery boy was a friend's son.

"Ok, I will," replied Kathy, sounding a bit surprised. "When will we see you?"

"I don't know, but I'll be home as soon as I can," said Elliot. "We've got to get this little girl in a safe place tonight."

Kathy wished him luck and hung up. Elliot felt torn, as he so often did. His son was sick; his wife was worn out from dealing with a cranky baby on her own. And here he was, taking care of a stranger's child instead of tending to the needs of his own family.

By the time he was off the phone, Olivia had explained everything to the super, who led them up the stairs with a ring of keys in his hand. Amy was at her grandmother's until her mother got home from work and picked her up. From previous interviews they knew that they got home around six; the detectives wanted time to search uninterrupted before they arrived.

The super opened the door. "They're a nice family," he protested. "Whatchou think you're gonna find?"

"We can't discuss that. We'll take it from here," Elliot assured him as he and Olivia pulled on gloves. They stood in the small living room, looking around and deciding where to begin. The apartment was small, but immaculate. There was a toy box in the corner of the room, with all of the playthings neatly piled inside. Elliot thought of his own family room when the twins were this age; you couldn't walk across the floor without tripping over a Matchbox car or stuffed animal.

The kitchen area was separated from the living room by a half-wall and held a small table. One bathroom and two small bedrooms made up the rest of the apartment.

"I'll start with Amy's bedroom," said Olivia. "We're looking for an object that could be used to penetrate a small child without doing too much damage. Any ideas?"

Elliot shrugged. "Her picture was too vague. It could be anything." He began examining the contents of the living room, opening drawers, under the cushions on the small loveseat, between and behind books in the solitary bookcase built into the wall. He looked behind the drapes and along the woodwork over the windows and doors.

"Nothing in here," said Olivia, emerging from the child's bedroom. "This woman is an immaculate housekeeper though. I've never seen a kid's room so neat and there wasn't a speck of dust anywhere."

Elliot moved to the kitchen while Olivia headed into the mother's bedroom. A few minutes later, she called out: "El, come here! I found something."

He found her squatting next to the single bed in Mrs. Mahardy's room, holding a wooden box. "This was pushed under the bed," explained Olivia, holding out the box so he could see inside of it.

Wrapped inside a piece of cloth was a white candle with a gold metal design around the base. There were faint brownish red stains in the dips where the design was fused with the candle. There were also stains on the cloth. Next to the candle was a small bottle of clear liquid.

"Holy shit. That's a baptism candle," said Elliot, picking it up gingerly with his gloved hand. "And I bet that's holy water."

"What's that?" asked Olivia, standing up.

"When a baby is baptized in the Catholic Church, they light a special candle and give it to the parents afterwards. You're supposed to light it again when they make the rest of their sacraments, like First Communion and Confirmation. Holy water is water blessed by a priest."

"Well, it looks like that's what she used to abuse her daughter," said Olivia. "Let's get it to the lab to have them test it for blood."

"What twisted mind…" began Elliot, but he was interrupted by a voice at the door.

"What are you DOING here?" It was Mrs. Mahardy, with Amy cowering behind her.

The two detectives exchanged troubled glances. The last thing this poor child needed was to be in the middle of a confrontation with her obviously sick mother.

"Ms. Mahardy," began Olivia gently. "We're going to need you and Amy to come down to the station with us for a few minutes."

"You have no right!" exclaimed the young woman, as if she hadn't heard them. She pushed past Elliot and tried to grab the box Olivia held in her hands. "Give me that! It's private property."

Elliot took her by the arm. "We have a warrant, Ms. Mahardy. Please don't make this any more difficult for your daughter than it has to be." Amy was crying and clinging to her mother's leg, but it didn't seem to have any effect on the woman, who kept trying to grab the box from Olivia.

Olivia held out her hand to Amy. "Amy, sweetie, why don't you and I go out in the living room and look at your toys while your mommy talks to Detective Stabler."

The child screamed even louder and Olivia belatedly realized that she was terrified by the box that the detective held in her hands. She shot Elliot an agonized glance. He reached past the mother and without giving her a choice, took Amy by the hand. "Come on, Amy. Let's go out here." His voice was soft and gentle. Amy sobbed, but let go of her mother's leg and went with him.

Olivia flipped open her cell phone and called for back-up. By now Mahardy was pacing around the room, yelling about how they had no right, no right at all, she was a good mother and they had no right to interfere in how she raised her daughter. Olivia hardly recognized her as the concerned but calm woman they'd been talking to for the past week.

Fin and Munch arrived at the same time as a squad car with two uniformed officers. Mahardy had continued to escalate despite Olivia's attempts to calm her. She had no choice except to cuff her and read her her rights. Mahardy barely seemed to notice and was still ranting as f Olivia went with the uniforms to escort her to the station, while Fin and Munsch conferred with Elliot. The little girl sat on the couch with tears pouring down her face, wringing her hands. When Elliot got up to talk to the other detectives, she watched him anxiously until he returned to sit with her again.

"Where did my mommy go?" she asked him. They were the first words he'd ever heard her speak.

"Detective Benson took her down to our office so she could talk to her," said Elliot gently. Munsch and Fin moved into the bedroom to bag up the evidence Olivia had found, and take another look to see if there was anything else that related to the case. "She'll be fine; she's just upset right now."

"What's going to happen to me?" the little girl sobbed.

"What if we call your grandma?" asked Elliot. "Would you like to go to her house?"

Amy's nodded eagerly. "Grandma's nice. She doesn't…." her voice tapered off and she looked away.

"She doesn't what, Amy?" asked Elliot softly. When the girl didn't answer, he pressed on. "Doesn't hurt you?"

Amy looked at him, her eyes swimming with tears. She broke into sobs and threw herself into his arms. Elliot held her, gently rubbing her back while Fin watched from the bedroom door. Fin's brown eyes were soft and concerned.

"She says….I'm bad…" the little girl sobbed. "She says the candle will….bless me and make me not grow up bad like my daddy was…."

It was after ten when Elliot arrived home, exhausted and starving. He'd had nothing but coffee since the partial sub hours earlier and his stomach was churning. He let himself in the side door, being quiet in case everyone was asleep. Kathy was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of wine and a slice of pizza, reading the newspaper.

"Hey," he said softly, bending over to kiss her. She tasted like wine and oregano. "I'm sorry I wasn't home to help you."

"Elliot, it's okay," she said, standing up to hug him. "Please tell me you were able to help that little girl."

"She's safe with her grandmother for now," said Elliot. He went to the cupboard for a glass and poured himself a glass of milk.

"There's pizza in the oven," said Kathy. "Why her grandmother? I thought she lived with her mother?"

"It was his mother who was abusing her," said Elliot, putting a few slices on a plate and sitting down next to her. "All this time, it was the mother. She told her daughter that if she talked to anyone, they'd take her away and she'd never see her or her grandmother again. She had the kid convinced it was all her fault."

"Her mother…was abusing her…sexually? Am I thinking of the right case?" Asked Kathy, her brow furrowed in puzzlement.

Elliot related the discovery of the candle and the reaction of the little girl when she saw the box that held it. During the interrogation of the mother, it came out that Amy was the product of a rape. Jane Mahardy had never told anyone about the rape, not even her own mother. She let people believe that the father was someone she'd been dating who left her when he found out she was pregnant. She chose to keep the baby, but over time, began to fear that her daughter had inherited evil genes from the rapist who'd fathered her. A devout Catholic, she somehow became convinced that the baptism candle dipped in holy water would purify her daughter and as the girl grew older, began to administer this "ritual" weekly, always on Sunday after they went to Mass. The grandmother had had no idea that any of this was going on.

"What will happen to her now?" asked Kathy when he was done relating the whole sordid mess.

"The mother?" Asked Elliot, pushing away the plate of pizza. He was too tired to finish it. "She'll probably end up in a psychiatric facility. Huang thinks she's had a total break with reality, one that's been building up for a long time. Amy will stay with her grandmother. She's lucky she had family so she didn't end up in the foster care system."

Kathy turned in her chair to face Elliot and pulled him close, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a long kiss. "I'm so proud of you, Els," she whispered. "I'm so glad you were able to help that poor little girl."

Elliot rested his forehead against hers. He couldn't remember the last time Kathy had told him that she was proud of him. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for not being mad that I wasn't home tonight to help."

He sat up and looked at her. "How IS Eli doing?" He asked, yawning. "How long has he been asleep?"

"For about an hour," said Kathy, after glancing at the clock. "So we'd better get to bed. I don't know how long it will last." She stood up, picked up their dishes and took them to the dishwasher. "You go ahead, I'll be right up."

Elliot didn't leave, but stood watching her. When she finished with the dishes and turned to look at him quizzically, he took her into his arms and hugged her.

"I can't tell you how much it means to me," he said softly into the top of her head. "To be able to come home to you and the kids after a day like today. To know that there are good things and good people in this world. In my world. "

She pulled back and smiled at him, then took him by the hand and led him off to bed.


	25. Chapter 25

Family

"Elliot, do you know where Eli's shoes are?" Kathy called from the living room. Elliot stood at the bottom of the stairs, having just yelled up to the twins that they had exactly three minutes before it was time to leave for Mass.

"No idea," said Elliot, going to the refrigerator for a Sippy cup of juice to put in the diaper bag. He then filled a plastic baggy with Cheerios. "Does he really need them?"

"It's cold out," complained Kathy, opening the closet door and rooting around. "I don't want him to get sick again."

Dickie came thundering down the stairs, his blond hair still damp from the shower. Elliot frowned at his jeans and t-shirt, but decided not to press the issue. "Where's your sister?" he asked, putting the baby's snack items into the diaper bag and zipping it shut.

"She's still blow drying her hair." Dickie sat on the couch to tie his sneakers. "She has to look perfect in case we run into Ethan Macomb."

Elliot turned to look at Kathy, who shrugged. "Elizabeth!" He called from the bottom of the stairs. "We're leaving—NOW!"

Lizzie came down the stairs, grumbling "I'm coming, I'm coming" as she buttoned up her sweater. Unlike her brother, she had taken care with her appearance and wore a skirt and tights. Her long blond hair was carefully straightened and pulled back with a headband.

"Help your mother find the baby's shoes," he told her as he put on his coat and headed for the door. "I'll go start the car."

"They're in his stroller, mom!" Lizzie reminded her mother. "Remember when he kicked them off at the park?"

Kathy groaned and picked up the baby where he sat on the floor, busy trying to remove the plastic penguin zipper pull on his jacket.

"Will you grab them while I put him in his car seat?" She asked and then called to Dickie, who was in the kitchen searching through the cupboards. "Dickie, come on, you know how your father hates to be late."

Dickie grabbed a granola and stuffed it in his pocket as he picked up his coat and headed out the door.

Once they were all in the van, Elliot backed down the driveway and headed toward St. Brendon's.

"I don't know why they had to do away with the 11:30 Mass," he grumbled. "Ten o'clock is just too early."

"Tell me about it!" Dickie agreed, unwrapping the granola bar. Lizzie reached over and snapped off half.

"Thanks, bro," she said cheerfully as she bit off the end. Dickie groaned and slumped back in his seat.

They arrived at church with minutes to spare. Elliot carried the baby up the aisle, and stood aside while first Kathy and then the twins entered the pew. He genuflected and crossed himself, then slipped into sit with his family.

Elliot unzipped Eli's jacket as the baby craned his neck to look at all of the sights around him. He was a mellow baby and usually good during Mass. Elliot thought again about how he and Kathy were starting all over again; just when the kids were all old enough to sit through a service without fidgeting, along came another baby. He looked down the pew to Kathy and gave her a smile. It was always an ordeal to get everyone ready on time for church, but it was one of his favorite times of the week. His family was all together and safe. He wished that Maureen and Kathleen would come to Mass with them, but at least this week, they were meeting them afterwards for a breakfast a restaurant near their apartment. Kathy maintained that the girls would become come back to the church when they were older, but Elliot wasn't so sure. He hoped she was right. Being Catholic was one of the things that defined who he was. The rituals of Mass and the sacraments brought him comfort; it was the one thing that always stayed the same in his life. As difficult as it was at times to reconcile the values of the Church with daily life, he couldn't imagine not having that comfort to fall back on.

The organ began to play the opening hymn and the Stabler's rose with the rest of the congregation to greet the priest.

After the service, Elliot waited while Kathy stopped to speak to some neighbors. Eli was sound asleep on his shoulder. Lizzie and Dickie had already slipped out; probably so Lizzie could get catch a glimpse of Ethan Whoever. Elliot wasn't looking forward to having another daughter in the dating game, but of all of his girls, Lizzie was the most level-headed. If he'd learned anything at all from dealing with her sisters, it was that he had to let her make her own mistakes.

When Kathy finally pulled herself away, they headed outside. Elliot stopped at the font of holy water and dipping his finger in, made a tiny cross on the forehead of his sleeping son. They stopped to say hello to Father Shanahan, who stood inside the door greeting his parishioners as they passed by.

"Father," said Elliot, extending his free hand in a handshake. The priest clasped his hand between his own.

"Elliot, it's good to see you," he said, and reached out to pat Eli on the cheek. "I can see that my sermon put the little one to sleep."

Elliot laughed. "Can we borrow you in the middle of the night, Father?" He asked. The priest laughed as Kathy dug her elbow into Elliot's side.

"Perhaps I can make recordings and sell them as to raise funds for the church," he smiled. "And speaking of fundraisers," he turned to look at Kathy, "will you be at the meeting tonight to plan the fall bazaar?"

"I'm planning on it, Father," she assured him.

They found the twins talking with friends in front of the church. Elliot guessed that the tall boy with dark hair was Ethan by the way that Lizzie was studiously avoiding looking at him as she talked to one of the girls. The twins broke off from the group when they saw their parents approach. Better to come voluntarily than give Elliot the opportunity to embarrass them.

They pulled up to the restaurant as the older girls were walking down the street.

"Perfect timing," said Kathy happily as they parked and got out of the car. She hurried over to meet the girls, leaving Elliot to wrangle the still sleeping baby out of his car seat. He knew how much she missed their older daughters. Although they still had to tread carefully with them both, things were much better than they'd been a few years ago. They tried to see them at least once a week and Kathy talked to them more often on the phone. Usually, the girls came home for Sunday dinner, but this week, Kathleen had to work later in the day. Elliot had offered to pick them up for Mass and when that didn't fly, said he'd buy them breakfast.

"Hey girls," he said when he caught up with the rest of the group. Since the baby was still asleep, he'd decided to bring the whole car seat, and now he set it carefully down on the ground so he could give each of the girls a hug. "Hungry?"

"I am!" growled Dickie. "Can we PLEASE go inside?"

They were seated at a large round table near the window. The restaurant was someplace they'd been visiting since the girls were small. It wasn't fancy, just one step up from a diner but it had good food that was reasonably priced, which made it affordable in the early years when the kids were young and money was tight. Now it was a tradition to go there.

"You missed a good sermon," commented Elliot after the waitress had taken all of their orders. He stirred sugar into his coffee and grinned as Maureen and Kathleen simultaneously rolled their eyes. Kathy poked him in the side again.

"Yeah, it was great," mocked Dickie. "I almost fell asleep with Eli."

"I thought it was interesting," said Lizzie, always the peacemaker in the family.

"So, how's school?" Kathy asked the girls, in an attempt to get the conversation on smoother ground. They chatted until their food was served. The sounds of dishes and silverware woke Eli, who fussed until he saw his sisters. Their presence was enough of a novelty to distract him from his grumpiness. Elliot passed him to Maureen, who held him on her lap and fed him bits of her omelet.

"Make sure he doesn't get any of that bacon," cautioned Kathy, ever watchful.

Elliot finished his toast and eggs and accepted a refill of coffee from the waitress. He sat back and enjoyed having his whole family in one place. He wished he could have a video as a keepsake of this very ordinary meal because it summed up his reason for existence: his family.

The cell phone at his waist vibrated. He picked it up and flipped it open.

"Stabler." His face darkened as he listened to the voice on the other end. He snapped the phone shut and said the words that were all too familiar to his family:

"I've got to go."


	26. Chapter 26

A Case of Nerves

Elliot was feeling slightly uneasy about his return appointment with Dr. Cooper later that day. She'd asked him to think about the things they'd talked about, but the problem was: Elliot wasn't a thinker, he was doer. Sure, things were going much better. He had patched things up with both his wife and his partner, but he wasn't sure if that had anything to do with the things the doctor had suggested. He honestly didn't know what he was going to say to Cooper today, but Kathy was expecting him to keep this follow-up and there'd be hell to pay if he didn't.

He sighed, prompting Olivia, in the passenger seat, to give him a concerned look. They were on their way to interview an alibi in their current case. A young woman was in a coma at Bellevue after a violent assault and rape. Her former boyfriend was the prime suspect, but he claimed to have been at a poker game with friends during the time of the attack.

"What's up, El?" she asked. "You've been jumpy all afternoon."

He shrugged. Was this really something he could talk to Olivia about? _Oh, what the hell! It might give me something to get me off the hook with Cooper._

"I've got an appointment this afternoon with that counselor Kathy and I were seeing last year," he cautiously began.

"You and Kathy are seeing a marriage counselor again?" asked Olivia, looking surprised_. If they're getting along well enough to have afternoon bootie breaks, why do they need to see a counselor?_

"Just me," said Elliot. "I went to talk to her last week when I was acting so….."

"Bitchy?" suggested Olivia helpfully. Elliot chuckled in spite of himself.

"Whatever. The problem is, she kind of gave me homework which I didn't really do."

"Homework!" Olivia started to laugh, and then caught herself. "I didn't know therapists gave homework assignments."

Elliot gave her a caustic look. "Well, they do. Marriage counselors do anyway."

"So what was the homework? Does this mean you're going to fail therapy?" Olivia unsuccessfully stifled another laugh.

Elliot shook his head. "I'm so glad I decided to share with you," he said sarcastically.

Olivia stopped laughing and sat up straight in her seat, like a student paying attention to a teacher. "I'm sorry, go ahead. I'll stop, I promise." He could see her biting on the inside of her lip to keep from laughing again.

"I was supposed to think about some ideas she raised and decide if they applied to my life, I guess."

"What ideas?"

"Well…," Elliot hesitated. _Why did I even bring this up? _"She thought maybe I was having such a tough time because things were changing in my life," he finally added.

"Like what?"

"I don't know…the whole thing with you and Kathy becoming friends. Mixing my work life with my personal life, all that crap."

"Does it bother you that much?" Olivia asked, concern showing in her dark eyes. She and Kathy had finally connected and made a date for lunch the following week. Olivia was looking forward to it, but it wasn't worth it if it was going to make for problems with her partner.

"I didn't think so," admitted Elliot. "But her theory is that between that and you starting to date Declan, the "balance"—here he lifted his hands off the steering wheel long enough to form air quotes—in my life was off."

"Why would me dating Declan throw off the balance in YOUR life?"

Elliot turned to look at Olivia. _Time to shit or get off the pot_. "Because I felt like something had changed in our relationship, like you were pulling away from me."

Olivia turned to look out the car window, her thoughts churning_. I haven't even met this therapist and she knows all about me. _After a minute, she looked back at Elliot.

"I wasn't deliberately pulling away from you," she explained. "I was just trying to figure out things in my own head. Sometimes you and Kathy seem so happy; with your family and everything…I get jealous."

Elliot looked at her, his eyes wide. "You get jealous of US?" he laughed. "Sometimes, I'm jealous of you—no one depending on you, you don't have to juggle your job and kids, always letting someone down…"

He and Olivia stared at each other for a long moment.

"I guess the grass is always greener on the other side," said Olivia at last. "You know I've always wanted a family."

"I know," Elliot admitted. "But sometimes the reality is not as much fun as the dream."

"Are you saying you're sorry you have kids?" Olivia asked incredulously.

"No, no….," Elliot interjected. "That's not it. I'm just saying, it's harder than you'd think, and sometimes I envy your freedom."

They'd arrived at their destination, a video shop where the poker buddy was supposed to be working. His home phone was disconnected and they needed to rule out their victim's ex before they decided what leads to follow next.

"Well, if I can help with your homework…" offered Olivia as they got out of the car. She was smirking again and Elliot shook his head. "Or maybe I can write you an excuse, tell the therapist we've been too busy with our cases for you to have time to think."

"Very funny. Not."

"Seriously….I think it's great that you're doing this." Olivia said, stopping and looking him in the eye. "I know how you feel about therapists."

"Thanks." Elliot held the door to the store open until Olivia passed through, then pulled out his badge as they approached the counter.

"We're looking for Eric Barnes," he said to the young man behind the counter.

"That's me." Barnes looked nervously from one detective to the other. "What do you want?"

"I'm Detective Stabler, and this is my partner, Detective Benson. We've got a few questions about your friend, Mark Miller."

"Mark? What did Mark do?"

"We just need to confirm where he was Saturday night." Said Olivia, pulling out a pad and looking at her notes from the interview with Miller.

"He was at my place—we were playing poker with some buddies." Barnes answered. "Is he in some kind of trouble?"

"How long did your game last?" asked Elliot.

"I don't know…til about 1, I guess," said Barnes. "I wasn't really paying attention."

"Was Miller there the whole time?" Elliot asked.

"Um, let me think…." Barnes hesitated, staring down at the counter as if running a timeline in his head. "Actually, Mark left before the other guys. I'm not sure what time exactly, but maybe about 11. I remember we had the television on in the background on the news was still on."

Elliot and Olivia exchanged glances. The ME had estimated the time of the attack to be around 11:30.

"We're going to need the names and numbers of the other guys who were playing as well," said Olivia, pulling out a pen.

Barnes gave them the names of two other players. "What's this about?" he asked. "Is Mark in trouble?"

Olivia ignored the question. "Did you ever meet Mark's former girlfriend, Melissa Jansen?"

"Yeah, sure. They went out for a long time."

"Has he said anything to you about her recently?" Elliot asked.

"He said she was seeing someone else," said Barnes, looking very nervous.

"And how did he feel about that?" asked Olivia.

Barnes shrugged. "He wasn't happy about it."


	27. Chapter 27

Inconsistencies

The two detectives left the video store and got back in the car to plan their next steps.

"I say we talk to the two other poker buddies and see if they confirm this guy's timeline," said Olivia. "And if they do, we pick up the ex-boyfriend and bring him in for questioning."

"Sounds good to me, "answered Elliot. He started the car and pulled out into traffic while Olivia made calls.

"Ok, no answer at Brian Winters number, but Lenny Jones is at home and expecting us." Olivia flipped her phone shut and read Elliot the address from her pad.

"That's right around the corner," said Elliot, taking the next right. As he looked for a parking space, he turned to Olivia. "You know how we were talking about the grass being greener a little while ago?"

"Yeah?" Olivia wasn't sure if she wanted to revisit this topic and her tone was cautious.

"I was thinking…." Elliot found a spot and started to angle the Crown Victoria into the space. His skill at parking was the main reason that Olivia let him drive most of the time—she hated trying to find and squeeze into elusive parking spots in Manhattan. "How would you like to borrow the kids for a weekend?"

"Borrow your kids….," Olivia looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "What are you talking about?"

"Kathy and I have a big anniversary coming up," Elliot explained. "I was thinking of surprising her with a weekend away. I was going to ask Maureen and Kathleen if they'd come home and keep an eye on things, but maybe you should do it. You can see what it's like to be with kids 24/7."

Olivia gave him a skeptical look. "Do you think Kathy would be okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't she? We haven't been away together in….well, not since the twins were little. I think she'll jump at the chance. "

"Sure, she'll love getting away," Olivia said, "But is she going to be comfortable with ME being responsible for your kids?"

"You're her new best friend," replied Elliot, giving her a devilish grin. "How could she say no? Besides, the twins would be there to help you out, they're great with Eli."

Olivia still looked doubtful. "Think about it," suggested Elliot. "It's no biggie if you decide you're not up to it; I'll ask the girls. They owe me."

"Not up to it!" Olivia was incensed. "Of course I'm UP to it!"

Elliot chuckled. He knew perfectly well that it would get her goat if he phrased it like that. "Well, I was thinking about the weekend after next. We're both due to be off weekend rotation and I was thinking of tacking either Friday or Monday on to make it a long weekend. Do you think Cragen would let us both be off on the same day?"

"We can ask." Olivia shrugged. "Where are you planning to go?"

"I don't know, I was thinking about upstate, in the Catskills," mused Elliot. "It's supposed to be beautiful this time of year with the leaves turning. We were up there once, years ago, when Maureen was just a baby. Kathy loved it."

"That sounds really nice, Elliot." Olivia looked at him appraisingly. Elliot was not usually sentimental or romantic. It was no secret that he was devoted to his wife and family, but she'd never known him to make such an extravagant gesture. Typically, he'd be rushing to buy a birthday or anniversary present at the last minute, between interviews. Maybe he really was changing.

They got out of the car. Lenny Jones lived over a Chinese restaurant. Elliot found his name on the list of buttons next to the door and pushed the intercom while Olivia flipped through her notes to get the timeline straight in her head.

"Yes?" The voice on the other end of the intercom sounded nervous.

"NYPD detectives," Elliot announced in his official voice. "Can we come up?"

The buzzer sounded and the two detectives ascended the stairs. The building was older and a bit rundown, but immaculately clean. When they reached the second floor, Jones was waiting for them at his open apartment door.

"You want to talk to me about Mark?" Like the other two men they'd interviewed so far, Jones was in his late twenties. He had curly blond hair down to his shoulders and wore shorts and a t-shirt. His feet were bare. Across the room was a desk with an array of computer equipment. The desk chair was pushed back and there were papers scattered across the floor in piles.

"Do you work from home, Mr. Jones?" Olivia asked, flipping her pad open.

"Call me Lenny. Yeah, I do. I'm a graphic designer, I do freelance work." He looked from one detective to another. "What exactly is this about? I don't know what you think I can tell you."

"We're just establishing the whereabouts of Mark Miller on Saturday night," Elliot said smoothly. "So we can rule him out as a suspect. I understand that you were involved in a poker game with him?"

"Yeah," admitted Lenny. He didn't invite them to sit down and started pacing around the room. "I heard about what happened to Melissa, but you're crazy if you think Mark had anything to do with that. He might have been upset with her, but he'd never hurt her."

"So you knew Melissa too?" Olivia asked. She looked at Elliot. Evidently Eric Barnes had called to give his friend a head's up before they'd arrived.

"Yeah, sure."

"What makes you think Mark was upset with her?" Olivia continued. She'd put down her pad and was looking at Lenny, her eyes inviting him to open up and share. Elliot saw that the young man was responding to her and allowed her to direct the questioning.

"Well, you know, he found out she was seeing someone else and he…he didn't' like that. I think he hoped they'd get back together again eventually." The pace of Lenny's movements increased. Olivia reached out and touched him gently on the arm.

"Can we sit down?" she asked, motioning to the dining room table and chairs nearby.

"Sure," said Lenny. He cleared the table of papers, stacking them all at the far end and sat down. Olivia took the chair perpendicular to his while Elliot remained standing on the far side of the room. While Lenny's was distracted with Olivia, he gradually moved closer to the desk and began skimming the papers on its surface.

"Why did they break up in the first place?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know…you really should be talking to Mark about all of this!" exclaimed Lenny. He half rose out of his seat but Olivia put her hand on his arm again. He sat down heavily in the chair.

"Okay, so let's get back to the poker game," suggested Olivia. She looked down at her notes. "What time did the game end?"

"I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention." Lenny muttered. He hunched forward in his chair, looking miserable.

"Give me a ball park," urged Olivia. She looked over Lenny's shoulder at Elliot, who was holding up a pad of paper. She could just make out a scribbled note. It looked as if Lenny had been doodling while talking on the phone. The words "AFTER MIDNIGHT" scribbled in large letters with lots of question marks around them.

"I got home around 1:30," said Lenny miserably. "Brian dropped me off."

"And Mark? Did he give him a ride home too?" asked Olivia.

"No, he drove himself." Lenny wasn't making any of this easy. He clearly didn't want to lie, but wasn't going to give them any information he didn't have to.

"So did he walk about at the same time as you and Brian?" Olivia prompted. Elliot had placed the pad back on the desk and was watching intently. He didn't have much patience for people who played games.

" No…." said Lenny reluctantly, "He left a little while before us."

"How long before?"

"I don't know, I wasn't paying attention….maybe a little after midnight?" Lenny offered up hopefully.

"That's interesting," said Elliot, coming to take the seat right next to Lenny. "Because your friend Eric said that Mark left a lot earlier."

"I told you, I didn't pay attention!" Jones jumped up out of his chair and started pacing again. _He's an odd one,_ thought Elliot. _Atypical clothing for the season, hyperactive, no social skills—no wonder he works from home._

"Lenny, Lenny," said Olivia softly. "Sit down; relax. All we need is the truth. The best way to help your friend is to tell us exactly what you remember so we can get this all straightened out."

Lenny sighed and dropped back into the chair. "We were playing poker. We were in the middle of a hand when Mark got a text from someone. All of a sudden, he was out of there, said he had to go. Brian was really mad, because he had a good hand but Mark wouldn't even stay to play it out."

"And what time was this?" Olivia asked gently.

"Around 11," sighed Lenny.

Back in the car, the two detectives shared notes.

"They've obviously talked to each other," observed Elliot. "And somehow, they know what time we're looking at, because someone called Lenny and told him to fudge the time that Miller left."

"Right," said Olivia. "The question is, why?" She flipped open her cell phone to try Brian Winters again. Still no answer. Lenny had reluctantly given them the address for the travel agency where Winters worked. They decided to head there next.

Brian Winters didn't seem all that surprised when they showed up. He took them back to the small break room of the agency and answered their questions in a resigned manner. Lenny must have given him a call as soon as they left his apartment. He confirmed that Miller had indeed left at 11 pm, shortly after receiving a text on his phone. Yes, he knew Melissa, but no, he couldn't speculate as to why she had broken things off with Miller. Yes, Miller had mentioned that she was seeing someone else and he didn't like it, but no, he talked about taking any action. Like Lenny, Winters was adamant that Miller could not have had anything to do with her attack.

"I'd say it's time to bring Miller in for questioning," said Elliot as they left the agency.

"Sure is," replied Olivia.


	28. Chapter 28

Rehashing

Elliot made it to his appointment with Dr. Cooper, but just barely. At first he thought he was going to have to cancel and cringed at the thought: he knew from past experience that therapists charged for appointments cancelled without sufficient notice. Fortunately for him, but not so great for the investigation, Miller had lawyered up within minutes of being brought into the station. His attorney was in court, so they couldn't interview him until the next day. Elliot was left with 40 minutes to make the 45 minute drive to the office.

Cooper was waiting in her outside office and opened the door for Elliot as soon as she saw him enter the building. As before, she'd given him the last appointment of the day, after everyone else had gone home.

"Hello, Elliot," she greeted him warmly, closing and locking the outer door behind him.

"Sorry I'm late, he replied, slightly out of breath from his dash in from the parking lot. He took off his overcoat and laid it over the back of a chair in the waiting room. "We caught a big case yesterday and things are crazy."

"I understand, "she said, ushering him into her office. They sat opposite each other in armchairs. "How are things going with the case you told me about last week? With the little girl?"

"We wrapped that up," explained Elliot.

"That must have relieved some of your stress then." Dr. Cooper observed.

"Yeah, that helped," said Elliot. "It's always a good feeling to get another perv off the street." They sat in silence for a few moments. There was nothing Elliot hated more than silence in therapy sessions. He'd been through this enough times, not just counseling with Kathy, but the various times the Department had insisted he see their psychiatrist after difficult cases. Silence meant they were waiting for you to fill the void. He was relieved when she spoke first.

"Elliot, you've been with the Special Victims Unit for….how long?"

"A long time," he admitted.

"What things do you like about your job? What makes you want to stay in this job instead of moving somewhere less stressful?" Cooper asked gently.

Elliot sat forward in his seat. "I'm good at this job. The longer I do it, the more I learn and that helps me be even better. I feel like I'm making a difference; I'm making the world a safer place for my kids. And face it; police work is stressful no matter what department you're assigned to. I might as well stay where I feel useful. I like the people I work with—most of them anyway. Olivia and I are good together; we complement each other's skills. "

"What don't you like about this job?"

He thought for a minute. "I don't like how other cops minimize what we do, call us the "sex police" or the "panty police", like we're perverts who enjoy dealing with this stuff."

"Anything else?" she pressed.

Elliot shrugged. "We see the worst side of human beings, that's for sure. Sometimes it makes me want to give up. Sometimes it hits too close to home, when victims are the ages of my children. Sometimes it's frustrating, when the system lets someone walk when we know damn well they did they deed."

"Yet you never consider doing anything else?"

"No," he said bluntly, looking her in the eye. "I think I'll know when it's time to stop, but right now, this job—this IS me. It's where I need to be. "

Dr. Cooper studied him, as if weighing whether to push him further on this topic. Evidently she decided against it, because her next question was more general.

"How are things with Kathy this week?"

Elliot thought for a minute. "Better, much better." When she didn't ask anything else, he knew it was his turn to fill the void. "I'm still not sure about the things you mentioned last week, but I've talked to both Kathy and Olivia and patched things up, so that's…a lot better…." He trailed off, not sure what else to add.

"I'm glad to hear things are better," said Cooper smoothly. She gave Elliot a soft smile. "And far as the things I suggested to you last week, of what aren't you sure?"

Elliot shrugged, hating to be put on the spot. "I don't know….mostly about Liv having feelings for me. We talked this week and she did say that she's jealous sometimes about what Kathy and I have, which makes more sense…."

Cooper nodded, but the look in her eyes suggested she wasn't entirely ready to let go of this idea.

"I've asked Olivia-well, I'm thinking about surprising Kathy with a weekend away for our anniversary," began Elliot. "And I asked Olivia today if she'd be willing to watch the kids while we're gone."

Dr. Cooper, like all therapists, was good at hiding her feelings, but Elliot swore he could see a glimpse of surprise flit across her face before she resumed her usual passive exterior.

"How do you think that will affect the balance of the relationships you have now?"

Elliot leaned forward, clasping his hands together. "See, I figure, if Kathy and Liv are getting to be friends anyway—and they are, they're having lunch next week-there's no reason to go on trying to keep work and home separate. And if Liv is jealous of what Kathy and I have—well, maybe it would be good for her to see what it's like to be a parent. I know she wants kids of her own, but until you've walked that road, you don't really understand what it's really like. Maybe spending some time with our kids will help her figure out what she wants to do."

"What does Olivia need to figure out?" asked Dr. Cooper gently.

"She's always worrying that she's too old to have kids," explained Elliot. "She already got turned down by an adoption agency, because she's single and because of the work she does. And now she's worrying about this younger guy she's dating and how he's gonna want kids…."

"So you think this might help her…how?"

"I don't know…." Elliot struggled to put his ideas into words. "It might help her decide, once and for all, if she really wants kids, she needs to settle down with someone before it's too late."

"I see," said Dr. Cooper thoughtfully. "How does Kathy feel about having Olivia staying with the children for a weekend?"

"I haven't told her yet," replied Elliot. "After I get all of the details worked out for the trip, I'll tell her about it, but I want it to be a surprise. It's been years since we've been away together."

"I think, Elliot, that Kathy will be very happy with your surprise," she said after a short pause. "But that you should be prepared in the event that she isn't comfortable with the idea of Olivia staying with your children while you're away. Have a backup plan in place. Last week we talked about you feeling off because the relationships in your life were shifting; you need to realize that Kathy could feel the same way."

Elliot considered this for a moment. "Do you think I shouldn't have asked Liv?"

Dr Cooper shrugged. "It could make for some interesting dynamics. But, as you've said, you've already started blending the areas of your life that were separate before. Perhaps this might help Kathy become more comfortable with your relationship with Olivia."

Cooper glanced at the clock and looked at Elliot. "Our time is almost up, Elliot," she said. "And I've just realized that we've spent almost half of this session discussing Olivia. I find that interesting, don't you?"


	29. Chapter 29

Domestic Bliss

"We spent half our session discussing Olivia," Elliot mocked Dr. Cooper's tone as he drove home. _Of course I talk about Olivia; she's my partner. I spend as much time with her as I do my family._

They'd agreed that Elliot didn't need to schedule another appointment, but he was welcome to call anytime he felt stressed. Elliot didn't see that happening anytime soon. As far as he could tell, all she'd done was stir up more issues for him.

When he got home, Kathy and the kids had finished eating dinner, but were still sitting around the table. This was Elliot's favorite time of the day. He hung up his coat, washed his hands at the sink and joined them. Kathy warmed up some lasagna in the microwave and he dug in, listening to the twins talk about the drama at school. Eli wanted out of his high chair as soon as he saw his father. Elliot settled him in his lap where he was content to play with his father's tie while he ate. _This_, thought Elliot, _is what makes it all worth it._

Later, when he was giving Eli a bath, Kathy came and stood in the doorway. She smiled at the sight of Elliot's face covered with soapsuds as Eli balanced at the side of the tub, bending over to pick up bubbles and smear them on his father.

"You're a good dad," she said softly, coming in to sit on the toilet. She handed Elliot a towel and he wiped some of the soap away. Eli renewed his efforts to cover him again.

"When I'm home, you mean." Elliot added wryly.

"No, I meant you're a good dad. All of the time." Kathy bent over and wiped a spot clean on his cheek, then kissed it. "I'm going to go downstairs and fold some laundry while you've got him busy."

"I'll be down soon," promised Elliot. He got up from his kneeling position on the floor and scooped the wiggly baby out of the tub. "It's time to get you to bed, little man." He wrapped the protesting baby in a towel and took him to his bedroom, where he diapered him and dressed him in pajamas. Elliot scanned the small bookcase and picked up an old favorite of Dickie's. Settling into the rocking chair with the baby, he opened to the tattered book to the first page and began to read: "The night Max wore his wolf suit and…." Eli, familiar with the routine, cuddled into his father's chest, pointing to various creatures and babbling softly as Elliot turned the pages.

When the baby was settled in his crib, curled up with his blanket and stuffed dog, Elliot crossed the hall to their bedroom. He changed out of his work clothes and into a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants, looking longingly at the bed and his pillow as he passed by. _In awhile_.

Downstairs, he found Kathy at the living room, watching television as she folded baskets of laundry. When he sat down on the couch next to her, she picked up the remote and muted the show.

"How did your appointment with Dr. Cooper go?" she asked, as she balled up Eli's socks into pairs and tossed them into a basket. Elliot leaned over to take a pile of clothes and started folding as he talked.

"Ok, I guess," he shrugged. He didn't really know what to share with Kathy. "We talked about the job and maintaining a balance between work and home." _There, that was safe enough_.

Kathy nodded. "How did you leave things?"

"That I'll call her if I need to. I'm okay, really, last week was just…..." he hesitated, trying to put his thoughts into words. "Me going through some stuff."

Kathy's eyes searched his. She knew how much Elliot hated discussing feelings. "Sounds good then," she said lightly. She took the stack of baby clothes from his hands and added them to her basket. "Want to watch some TV or go up to bed? You look kind of beat." She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.  
"I could give you a back rub."

He smiled at her. "That sounds great. You go on up, I just need to check something on the computer and I'll be right behind you." She looked puzzled. Elliot was not big on using the computer at home; he always said he spent enough time doing searches at work. Usually, he only got on at home to check up on what the kids were using it for.

"Okay," she said lightly, standing up and picking up a basket of laundry. "Don't be long." She bent to add another basket to her pile.

"Leave those, "urged Elliot. "I'll bring them up in a minute."

As soon as Kathy was safely upstairs, Elliot went into the alcove off the dining room where the family computer was kept. At his insistence, the computer was in full view. One of his biggest fights with Maureen had been over her wanting a laptop to use in her room.

He quickly logged on to the computer and did a search for lodging in the Catskills, coming up with an overwhelming list of choices. He tried to remember the name of the town where he and Kathy had gone with Maureen years ago and typed in "Margaretville". _That was better_. He jotted down some numbers on a piece of paper and logged off. He folded the paper and went to the closet to put it in his jacket pocket so he could call the next day. _She is going to be so surprised_.

Kathy was in bed, reading. Elliot went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. The bathroom mirror reflected how tired he looked, but he felt too wound up for sleep. He stripped down to his boxers and went back to the bedroom.

"Hey," said Kathy, putting down her book as he approached the bed. She reached over to her nightstand and picked up a bottle of lotion. "Lie down. I'll give you a back rub."

Elliot stretched out on his stomach, wincing when Kathy dribbled cold lotion down the length of his spine. She chuckled at his reaction. Soon the friction of her hands had erased the chill of the lotion.

"That feels great," whispered Elliot as she stroked outwards from his spine with slow, firm movements. He closed his eyes and burrowed into the pillow he'd balled up under his head. He felt the tension and uncertainty of the day draining away under his wife's deft hands.

He was close to drifting off to sleep when he felt her slip his boxers off his hips. More cold lotion, this time on his buttocks. He picked up his head and looked over his shoulder.

"Lie still," she ordered him, a big grin on her face. Elliot did as he was told, inhaling sharply when she slipped her lotion covered hand between his legs to stroke the insides of his thighs and testicles. _Did I close the door? _

He surrendered to the sensations of his wife pleasuring him until he couldn't stand it any longer. He rolled over. Kathy smiled at the sight of his erection. "Got a condom?" she asked, her eyes twinkling. He fumbled in the drawer next to him and handed it to her, watching as she tore the package open with her teeth. His eyes closed involuntarily as she rolled it smoothly on to his penis.

He felt the shift in weight as she slid off the bed... Opening his eyes, he saw her walking over to close the bedroom door. _Good call! _On her way back, she stripped off her pajamas, leaving them in a pile beside the bed. She climbed back on the bed, on top of him, straddling his hips.

"All relaxed now?" she asked. She hovered above him, teasing him by brushing against his erect penis. He nodded, not wanting or needing to speak. She took him in her hand and positioned the head of his erection so she could easily slide him inside her. He groaned as she slowly slid down the length of him. When she was finished, he grasped her by the hips and flipped them both over. He couldn't be passive tonight. He wanted her too badly.

"Kath," he whispered her name, his lips next to hers. Her eyes were closed and he began to slowly move, still holding her firmly by the hips.

"Hmmm?" she asked, without opening her eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now shut up."


	30. Chapter 30

It's a Wrap

Elliot was at the station early the next morning, wanting plenty of time to prepare for the interview with Mark Miller and his attorney. He had poured himself a cup of coffee and was reading through their notes when Olivia came in, looking tired and upset.

"Good morning," said Elliot, looking up at her. He wasn't sure if he should ask if anything was wrong, given her recent stance on distance with her private life.

"Is it?" asked Olivia, throwing her jacket over the back of her chair and heading to the coffee shop. "I don't think I slept at all last night."

"Why not?" Elliot swiveled to look at her as she poured herself a cup of coffee and carried it back to her desk.

"Oh, I don't know…." She sat down, picked up a folder, stared at it blankly and then closed it again. She looked at Elliot. "Declan thinks we should move in together."

"How do you feel about that?" asked Elliot cautiously. _What's the rush? You've been seeing the guy for what, a month?_

"I don't know," she admitted. She took a sip of her coffee and winced. "Who made this coffee? "

"I did," Elliot admitted, smiling at her reaction.

"It's a bit strong, don't you think?"

"I think it's just right." This was a perennial argument in the squad room and the reason why they visited Starbucks whenever possible. No one agreed on how the coffee should be made. Whoever got in first made it their way, and the rest of the squad suffered or bought take out until it was time for another pot, when the battle started over again.

Fin walked in and headed straight to the coffee pot before going to his desk or taking off his coat. Olivia and Elliot watched him, waiting for his reaction. Noticing this, Fin asked suspiciously: "Who got here first?"

Olivia pointed to Elliot. Fin made a face and reached for the sugar, pouring in extra. He sided with Olivia in believing that Elliot was too heavy handed with the ratio of coffee to water.

They dropped the subject of Declan and coffee and bent their heads over their notes. They agreed that Elliot would take the lead. Miller was in his mid-twenties and likely to find Elliot more of an authority figure than Olivia. As always, they'd switch strategies if they noticed Olivia getting a better reaction.

"We need to find out about that text message he received," Olivia said. "Two of his buddies mentioned that as the reason why he left so suddenly."

Elliot nodded his head in agreement. "It would help if we had some forensic evidence to hold over his head," he mused. The crime scene investigators had found nothing of any help. The physical exam showed that their victim had had sex the night of the attack, but no fluids were present. Her injuries consisted of bruising around the face and upper torso, and a concussion severe enough to put her in a non-responsive state for the past two days. The doctor stopped short of calling it a coma, saying they'd have to wait and see. His opinion was that her attacker had slammed her head against the floor repeatedly until she lost consciousness. There was no evidence that she had fought off her attacker, so no DNA under her fingernails that could be matched to a possible perpetrator.

"Or if Melissa would wake up," added Olivia. She picked up the phone and began dialing. "I'll call the hospital and see if there are any updates on her condition." She spoke briefly to the nurse's station and hung up. "Well, that's promising," she told Elliot. "She's still unconscious, but she's been moaning and making sounds. Her vitals are improving too. Both are signs that she may be waking up soon."

"Good," said Elliot. He nodded toward the door. "They're here."

Olivia stood up. "I'll get them settled," she offered. "Then we'll let them stew for a few minutes."

Cragen walked in as Olivia greeted Miller and his attorney and offered them coffee. The Captain headed toward his office and motioned for Elliot to follow him.

"Any progress?" asked Cragen, setting down his briefcase and hanging up his coat. Elliot filled him in.

"Well, let's use Melissa waking up to our advantage," said Cragen, leaning back against the front of his desk and folding his arms. "They don't have to know that she isn't actually conscious—yet."

Olivia joined them in the Captains office. "His attorney is a lightweight," she told Elliot. "It's his cousin—I think he does mostly real estate closings. He's not a criminal attorney."

Elliot smiled. "All the better."

They let the pair wait in the interrogation room for twenty minutes before Elliot entered, followed by Olivia. Elliot greeted Miller curtly and introduced himself to his lawyer, then took the seat across from their suspect.

"Mike, we need to go over your schedule the night of Melissa's attack," began Elliot.

"I already told you, I was playing poker!" Answered Mark. "And I would never hurt Melissa; I still love her."

"The problem is, all three of your poker buddies remember you leaving a lot earlier than you told us when we first spoke to you," said Elliot, flipping through his notes. "You told us that you were there until one am, but they all said you left shortly after eleven."

"So, he was mixed up on the time," said his attorney, shrugging. "What's the big deal?"

Elliot gave him a withering glance. "The big deal is—Melissa was attacked around 11:30 and your client hasn't accounted for his whereabouts at that time."

"I went home," said Miller, shrugging. "I was tired of losing, so I went home."

"Can anyone verify that?" asked Elliot.

"What does it matter?" asked his attorney. "What motive would my client have for attacking Ms. Jansen?"

"I don't know—yet." said Elliot, turning to look at Miller. "Who sent you a text that evening just before you "got tired" of playing poker?"

"Text?" asked Miller, suddenly looking nervous. "Who said anything about a text?"

Elliot leaned forward. "Mike, we can subpoena your phone records, but you can save a lot of time and tell us what happened that night. It will look much better to the DA if you cooperate." His voice was soft, friendly.

"Detective, you don't have enough evidence to get a subpoena," said the attorney, not sounding very convinced of his statement.

As they'd arranged earlier, Captain Cragen knocked on the door and stuck his head in. "Detectives, can I see you for a minute?"

Olivia and Elliot stood outside the room with Cragen for a few minutes, watching their suspect and his attorney through the mirror. Miller was talking rapidly, waving his hands and looking very upset. His cousin/attorney looked concerned.

"He's gonna spill," Elliot said, shaking his head. "This was almost too easy."

The pair fell silent when the two detectives entered the room.

"We've got good news," said Olivia brightly. "The hospital just called. Melissa Jansen is awake and ready to talk to us."

"So, buddy, this is your last chance" Elliot sat down at the table, his pad and pen ready. "Give us your version of events before we go find out what happened from Melissa."

"It was an accident!" Miller blurted out. "I didn't mean to hurt her…." His cousin put a hand on his arm to warn him, but Miller shook it off. "No, I need to tell them, it was an accident…"

"Start at the beginning," Elliot said calmly. "What happened?"

"I was playing poker and Melissa sent me a text. She wanted to talk to me. I didn't tell the guys because I didn't want them to be mad that I was leaving the game early to go see her, so I said I was tired and was going home."

"But you went to Melissa's apartment?" asked Olivia, pulling her chair closer to the table. Miller turned to her, sensing a more sympathetic listener.

"Yes, when she said she wanted to talk, I thought she finally wanted to get back together," the words spilled out of his mouth as he went on. "I was so happy—I got to her place….and I started kissing her, I didn't give her a chance to say a word. We had sex, right there on the living room floor."

"And then what happened?" asked Olivia. "Did she say she wanted to get back together?"

"No," moaned Miller, burying his head in his hands. "When it was over…she told me that that was the last time we were ever going to be together like that, because she had met someone else and she thought they were really meant for each other."

"That upset you," suggested Olivia.

"Yes!" said Miller, lifting his head. His eyes were wild. "She let me make love to her, and then she tells me she doesn't want to see me again? I…I lost it. I grabbed her by the shoulders and started shaking her. I shook her so hard that her head was bouncing off the floor. I couldn't stop. And then I saw the blood…and her eyes were closed…I panicked. I left."

"You didn't call for help?"

"No," Miller shook his head. "I just wanted to get away from her, to forget any of it happened."

Elliot and Olivia decided to go out to lunch to celebrate wrapping up their case. Captain Cragen promised to join them and pick up the tab after he finished some phone calls. They went to a diner around the corner from the precinct, a favorite of the cop and court crowd.

"Have you told Kathy about going away for the weekend yet?" Olivia asked after they'd ordered.

"No," said Elliot. I want to work out all of the details first. He pulled the list of places to stay out of his pocket and scanned it. "I've got to make some calls this afternoon."

"Well, I had plenty of time to think last night, seeing how I didn't sleep much," Olivia said casually. "And I'd definitely like to watch the kids if you still want me."

Elliot studied her. "You're sure? I looked at the calendar this morning, Dickie has a soccer game that Saturday morning. He'll have to be at the school early. I might be able to get one of the other parents to pick him up though."

"Nah, I could take him," said Olivia, taking a sip of her diet soda. "Eli's up early, right?"

Elliot snorted. "Early? He's usually up by 6."

"Oh," Olivia hesitated and then shrugged. "It won't kill me."

"You can always call the girls if you need any help," suggested Elliot. "Or Kathy's mom—she could talk you through anything over the phone, but she doesn't drive much anymore."

"I'm sure we'd be fine," said Olivia. "You guys will write things down for me, right? Schedules and stuff."

"Yeah, sure," Elliot laughed. "And the twins will let you know what needs to be done."

Cragen joined them just as the food arrived, including the burger and fries he asked them to order for him.

"You two did a great job in there today," he told them. Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances.

"So…it's a good time to ask for a favor?" asked Elliot.

Cragen looked at them both, a French fry poised before his mouth. "Am I going to be sorry?"

"Nah," said Elliot. "It's an easy one."

Elliot explained the situation. Cragen looked at Olivia. "What's he holding over your head to get you to do this?" he asked incredulously.

Olivia laughed. "Nothing! You know I love kids, and it makes sense, Elliot's kids know me… and I'd like to help." She looked at Elliot with an evil grin. "Besides, my partner will be easier to work with if he gets a little."


	31. Chapter 31

Planning

Back at the precinct, Elliot pulled out his list and reached for the phone. "What do you think?" he asked Olivia. "Bed and breakfast or hotel?" Cragen had agreed that they could both be off on the following Friday, which freed up a three day weekend.

"Definitely bed and breakfast," Olivia answered. "Much more romantic."

"Yeah, but staying with people I don't know…it kind of gives me the creeps."

"It's not like they're going to be in the room with you, El." Laughed Olivia. "This is a business to them—you'll have plenty of privacy." She reached for his list and looked it over. "Oh, definitely the B&B!" she insisted. "The rooms have even have Jacuzzis."

Elliot shuddered. "The last thing I want is to be soaking in water that someone else has been doing who knows what in."

Olivia laughed again. "You're thinking of a hot tub. A Jacuzzi's like a bath tub—you fill it when you want to use it and then turn on the power jets."

"How do you know so much about this stuff?" Elliot scowled at her. He picked up the phone and called the B&B. After a few minutes, he hung up and turned to Olivia. "B&B it is…we've got reservations for Friday and Saturday night. Although the owner told me we just missed the big annual event—the Cauliflower Festival was last weekend."

"Cauliflower Festival?" Olivia looked at him. "You're making that up."

"I wish I was," Elliot shook his head. "Evidently cauliflower used to be a big crop in the Catskills and they have an annual festival to celebrate."

They were still laughing when Olivia's phone rang. "Benson. Oh, hi, Kathy!" She looked at Elliot and raised her eyebrows. Elliot made a slashing motion across her throat, warning her not to say anything about his plans. Olivia rolled her eyes. "Sure, I'm still up for lunch tomorrow. As long as things are quiet here." She and Kathy chose a time and restaurant and then Olivia hung up.

"So, when are you going to tell her?" asked Olivia.

Elliot shrugged. "I haven't decided yet. Maybe this weekend."

"Just be sure to give her enough time to get ready." Olivia suggested, and then, in a softer voice, "This is a really nice thing you're doing, Elliot. Kathy will be happy."

"I hope so," said Elliot. They spent the afternoon catching up on paperwork, glad to have some down time. It had been a hectic few weeks. Elliot was due in court the next day. The last thing he did was review his notes on the case to prepare for his testimony. At five, he straightened up everything on his desk and got up to leave. Olivia was still hard at work.

"You going home?" Elliot asked. "There aren't too many days when we can get out of here on time—take advantage of it!"

Olivia didn't look up from her paperwork. "Oh…I'm going to wait around until 6, when Declan gets off." She said, avoiding looking Elliot in the eye. She clearly still wasn't comfortable talking to him about her relationship with this guy.

"Nice." Said Elliot nonchalantly. "Going out to dinner or something fun?"

Olivia sighed and put down her folder, this time meeting Elliot's now concerned gaze. "We'll probably have another endless discussion about the pros and cons of moving in together," she replied.

Elliot sat back down at his desk. "If you're not ready, just tell him that," he suggested. "You haven't been going out all that long; it's okay to need more time."

Olivia laughed. "You sound like a shrink." She looked down at her desk, fiddling with her pen, then looked back up at Elliot. Her brown eyes welled with emotion. "Maybe it's me, El. I know we haven't been going out that long, but I do this with every guy. I always pull back, can't let anyone get too close. Declan is a great guy. Maybe it's time I just-commit to someone."

Elliot considered this. "You going to talk to Kathy about this tomorrow?" he asked. "Cuz I tell you, she's a whole lot better at this relationship stuff than I am. And she's a good judge of people. Talk to her about how you feel."

"I will,El." She said, looking intrigued with the suggestion. "That's a good idea. Kathy's neutral; she'd be a good sounding board. Thanks, El."

He stood up, smiling down at her. "I hope you have a good evening, Liv. I'll see you tomorrow when I'm done with court."

As he drove home, he mentally planned out the weekend away with Kathy. They could leave after lunch and take their time driving to the Catskills. Kathy loved to shop and he remembered there being lots of little gift and antique shops on the drive up. He made a mental note to look into restaurants near the B&B and make reservations for Friday night. After that, they could wing it. He'd have to pick up an anniversary present before they left—maybe Olivia would help him with that.

Kathy was in the kitchen when he got home, cutting up salad ingredients at the counter. She looked up in surprise when he walked through the door from the garage. "You're home early."

Elliot hung up his coat and walked to the kitchen. "It was a quiet afternoon," he told her, reaching past her to snatch some grape tomatoes out of the colander where she'd rinses them. Popping one in his mouth, he pulled her in close for a hug. "It's good to be home."

She smiled and went back to her salad. Elliot grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and began setting the table. It was nice to be engaged in simple domestic activities instead of examining corpses and interviewing victims of rape.

"I was thinking," said Kathy casually. "Our anniversary is coming up soon; we should make plans."

Elliot froze in the middle of setting down a plate. "Yeah, I guess it is. What did you have in mind?" He finished setting the table and turned to look at her.

"Oh, I don't know—a nice dinner somewhere?" Kathy suggested, bringing the salad to the table and placing it in the middle. "I am sure the twins would watch Eli for the evening so we could go out."

Elliot gave a mental sigh of relief. "Yeah, dinner would be great. Where would you like to go?"

"I think you should pick—it's your birthday the following week; we can celebrate both at the same time."

"So….Hooters?" Elliot asked, giving her an innocent look. Kathy swatted him on the shoulder.

"Like you'd ever step foot in a Hooters," she laughed. As a cop who regularly investigated sex crimes, Elliot hated bars and restaurants that exploited women for the way they looked and ranted about it whenever he got the opportunity. "Seriously, pick someplace nice, someplace you'd like to go. You deserve it." She stepped close to him and gave him a long, soft kiss. "We both deserve it."

Elliot pulled her close to him again. "Yes, we do." He answered simply. "We sure do."


	32. Chapter 32

Lunch

* * *

Olivia was first to arrive at the restaurant she and Kathy had chosen; a trendy new bistro near the court-house. She asked for a table near the window and watched people passing by on the street as she sipped a cup of coffee and waited. Truth be told, she was a bit nervous about this lunch. What did she and Kathy really have in common, besides Elliot?

Kathy arrived, flustered and out of breath. "I'm sorry I'm late," she apologized. "Eli wasn't thrilled at being left at my mother's and it took longer than I expected to get away. He's at that clingy age."

_Great! Wait until his parents leave him with me! _"No problem," said Olivia, smiling and handing Kathy one of the menus the waitress had left. "It was nice to sit and relax for a few minutes."

"I bet," laughed Kathy. "I don't know how you and Elliot do it all."

"I'd say the same thing about you," Olivia replied. "I think it's a toss-up as to who has the harder job."

Kathy gave her a grateful smile. It wasn't often that anyone acknowledged that staying home with kids all day could be difficult. Most of the women she knew worked while raising their families, but that was impossible for them with Elliot's unpredictable schedule. She had accepted long ago that she'd be the one holding down the home fort until the kids were grown.

The waitress, a young woman with so many facial piercings that looking at her was painful, came to take their orders. When Olivia asked her which of the specials she'd recommend, the waitress icily told her that she herself didn't eat meat and couldn't recommend any of them. Kathy and Olivia shared a smile. _Sounds just like Maureen, _thought Kathy_. _

Just to be perverse, they both choose the item with the most meat. The waitress huffed off with their order.

"She reminds me of Maureen in her refusing-to-eat-stage," said Kathy, watching her stalk off and shaking her head.

"I remember that," laughed Olivia. "I thought Elliot would lose his mind."

"Yeah, he was raised to eat everything on his plate or else," replied Kathy. "It was hard for him to watch her pushing food around on her plate and not say anything."

Olivia thought of her own mother, who was usually too drunk to notice if her daughter ate dinner or not. "Well, she turned out fine," said Olivia. "She doesn't have problems with food now, does she?"

"No, thank God." Said Kathy. "We all laugh about it with her now, but it was scary at the time. Thank goodness for the department psychiatrist who persuaded Elliot to not make a big deal out of it and let her come out of it on her own."

A waitress with less of an attitude came by to refill their coffee cups. They busied themselves stirring and cooling for a bit.

"I'm glad we could do this today," began Kathy awkwardly. "It's nice to get out of the house and be around adults for a change."

Olivia smiled at her. "Well, it's nice for me to get away from all of the testosterone in the squad room once in awhile."

They both laughed. "I'm really glad you suggested this, Kathy," said Olivia. "I've known you for years, but we never get much of a chance to talk, do we?"

"No," agreed Kathy. She hesitated for a minute and then plunged on. "I know things have been awkward at times, Olivia, but I hope you realize it never had anything to do with you. It's hard, sometimes, being a cop's wife, always on the outside looking in. Elliot was never great at sharing about his job, and it made it easy for me to resent the job—and you."

"I understand," answered Olivia softly. "I always knew that."

"Well, things have been better lately," Kathy looked at Olivia directly. "Elliot tells me more now, and it has helped me understand how he feels. I don't feel so….threatened by his job anymore."

"That's good," Olivia replied. "Kathy, Elliot is really good at what he does. I know it's hard for him sometimes—he wants to be there for you and the kids but he also wants to get the job done."

Kathy smiled. "I know."

The waitress with the piercings and attitude delivered their food, her contempt clear in her every movement. "Oh, this looks GREAT!" said Kathy. "Look at all of the meatballs in here!"

Olivia laughed as the waitress through them a scornful look and walked away. "That's the last we'll see of her for awhile."

"Ok, enough about me and Elliot," Kathy said, putting her napkin in her lap. "What's new with you? Elliot said you've been seeing someone new?"

_Ah, Elliot. Wanted to be sure I talked to Kathy, didn't you?_

"Yes," she said cautiously. "He's a detective in Narcotics. His name is Declan—and he's about ten years younger than I am."

"Nice Irish name," smiled Kathy. "It sounds like the age difference bothers you?"

Olivia shrugged. "Yes and no. Not as far as just dating goes—but what if it turns into something more?"

Kathy looked at her, waiting for her to finish her thought. "We've only been going out for about three weeks," Olivia went on. "But he already wants to move in together."

"How do you feel about that?" asked Kathy gently.

"Torn. I like him—a lot—we get along great when we're together. But—it's only been three weeks! And I've been living alone for a long time. It feels—too much too soon."

"Have you told him that?"

"Yes, but…his lease is up at the end of this month. He says he loves me and we should just bite the bullet and try it. Be spontaneous and all of that crap. " Olivia rolled her eyes.

Kathy considered this for a minute. "Olivia, what would you tell someone else in this situation? A victim who was being manipulated into doing something she wasn't ready for?"

Olivia's eyebrows raised. "Are you comparing Declan to a perp?" she asked incredulously. She saw the look of alarm on Kathy's face and lowered her voice. "Okay, I see your point. Yes, I'd tell someone else in this situation to do what felt comfortable to HER, not to let the man pressure her into anything."

Kathy looked at her and smiled. "Then there's your answer," she said softly. "Follow your own advice."

* * *

As Olivia had predicted, their waitress took her time in returning to check on them. "May we hear the dessert menu?" she asked sweetly when the young woman arrived, prepared to hand over their check. She scowled and mumbled a list of choices. Olivia asked her to repeat them, her dark eyes twinkling. If her job had taught her anything, it was how to get the best of uncooperative people. Kathy saw what she was doing and asked a few questions of her own. They ordered, and the young woman stomped off again.

"We'll have to leave her a big tip," laughed Kathy. "That is one miserable woman."

While they took their time over dessert, Kathy showed Olivia the essay she had written for her college application. Olivia was in the middle of making some suggestions when her phone vibrated at her belt.

"Benson." She looked apologetically at Kathy while she listened to the voice at the other end. "I'm sorry, Kathy, I've got to go." She said as she hung up. Elliot's still in court and Munsch and Fin are already out."

"Not a problem," said Kathy. "Believe me, Olivia—I'm used to it!"


	33. Chapter 33

**Mixed Reactions**

"Have you thought of a place for dinner on our anniversary?" asked Kathy. It was Saturday morning and they were watching Dickie's soccer game. Lizzie and her friends had taken Eli and his stroller over to the playground adjacent to the field and they were enjoying a few minutes alone, sitting on the sunny bleachers with the other parents.

"Actually, I have," said Elliot. "It's a place called "The Inn Between"."

"I've never heard of it," Kathy turned to him in surprise. "Where is it? Out on the Island? It doesn't sound like a city restaurant."

"It's outside of Margaretville," Elliot smiled at her. "We've got reservations for Friday night at 7."

"Where is….?" She gave him a puzzled look. "Isn't that up in the Catskills? Where we went with Maureen when she was a baby?"

"That's it," said Elliot, leaning in to kiss her. "We've also got reservations at a bed and breakfast there for the weekend."

"The whole weekend?" She looked at him in astonishment. "What about the kids?"

"I've got someone to stay with the kids," he assured her. "How long has it been since we went away, just you and me?"

"Not since the twins were little and my dad was still alive," admitted Kathy. "But Elliot—**who's** going to watch the kids? You know my mother isn't up to it anymore, no matter what she says."

"I know," said Elliot, "And that's why I asked Olivia if she'd stay at the house while we're gone."

"Olivia!" Kathy turned away, looking out at the soccer field. Her mind was churning. _Olivia, in my house, with my kids? _"She's willing to do that?"

Elliot shrugged. "She says she is. She's always going on about wanting kids before it's too late; I thought maybe this would help her make up her mind."

"So she's going to practice on **our** kids?"

"The twins will be there to help her with Eli," Elliot said. "And I've talked to Maureen and Kathleen, they'll be back up if Olivia has any problems. I was going to ask them in the first place, and then I thought of Liv."

For a moment, Kathy felt that old surge of anger and jealousy. _Of course, who else would you turn to when you needed something? Good old Olivia. _She instantly felt ashamed of herself. Olivia was her friend, and she was doing this so she and Elliot could spend time together. _A whole weekend without the kids? Is that possible?_

"Elliot…I'm…stunned." Kathy looked at her husband appraisingly. Elliot wasn't much for romantic gestures. Many of their anniversaries had passed unmarked except for a scrawled card or promise of a night out when "things calmed down". With five children and Elliot's job, things were never calm. She'd never doubted his love for her, but she'd accepted years ago that he wasn't going to be showering her with frivolous gestures and gifts to show it. And now, this?

Elliot leaned against her and took her hand, holding it tightly. "I wanted this anniversary to be something special," he whispered against the side of her face. To anyone sitting nearby, it looked as if they were both concentrating on the action on the field. "Last year was so crazy; I want this to celebrate our new start."

Kathy leaned into him in response. "Well, if we have to…"

* * *

They broke the news to the kids at dinner that night.

"Dad and I are going to be going away next weekend," said Kathy in a matter of fact manner as she dished out servings of hot Shepherd's Pie.

"Away? Away where?" Lizzie asked in confusion. She looked at her brother for clarification, but he just shrugged.

"It's our anniversary," Kathy explained. "We're going up to the Catskills for a few days."

"What about us?" asked Dickie. "Do we get to stay home alone?" He looked at Elliot hopefully.

Elliot snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Why not?" Dickie protested. "We're old enough; we can handle it."

"And could you handle your little brother for the whole weekend too?" Elliot challenged. The twins looked at each other. Dickie shrugged.

"Well, we COULD—but who wants to?" He said. "If we can't stay alone, what are we going to do? Go to Grandma's?" He was clearly not thrilled with this idea and ready to put up a fight.

"No," said Elliot casually. "Olivia will be spending the weekend here at the house with you."

Two faces whipped around to look at him. "Olivia?" asked Lizzie. "She's going to stay here?"

"Yes," Elliot said. "She was nice enough to offer." _Well, she didn't exactly offer..._

"Where will she sleep?"

Elliot and Kathy looked at each other. They hadn't discussed that detail.

"In our bedroom," said Kathy firmly, before Elliot could say anything. "So she can hear Eli if he wakes up during the night."

"I'm cool with Olivia," said Dickie. "But how will I get to my soccer game on Saturday morning?"

Kathy looked at Elliot. They hadn't discussed that either.

"Olivia already said she'd take you," said Elliot. "You two will have to help her get Eli ready in time."

Dickie grinned. "Olivia's coming to my game? Cool!" He pulled his cell phone pocket out of his pocket and was busily texting as he ran upstairs.

"Guess he's ok with it." Elliot laughed and turned to Lizzie. "What about you, sweetie?"

Lizzie shrugged. "I guess so, I like Olivia. But it will be kind of weird; you guys never go anywhere."

"You're right, we don't." said Kathy gently. "But your dad has gone to a lot of work to surprise me with this weekend. We'd appreciate it if you'd be a sport about it and help Olivia out."

"Sure," said Lizzie. "You'll bring me back something nice, right?"

* * *

Later in bed, Kathy slid over to Elliot. He lifted his arm and pulled her in close to rest on his shoulder.

"I'm still in shock," she admitted. "This whole weekend thing—it isn't like you, Elliot."

"It's the new me," whispered Elliot, kissing the top of her head. They enjoyed a few minutes of quiet togetherness before Kathy spoke again.

"I have to admit—it's a little weird to think of Olivia in our house, sleeping in our bed, taking care of our kids." Kathy said hesitantly.

Elliot tipped her chin up so he could see her face clearly. "Do you want me to get the girls to come instead?" he asked softly. "I can do that if you're not comfortable."

"No, no…." she began. She was silent for a few seconds and then added: "I think it's actually a good thing. Good for us—and maybe good for Olivia. She needs a break from that guy she's been seeing. It's just taking me awhile to wrap my head around it."

She lifted herself up so she was face to face with Elliot, leaning on his chest. "I'm starting to get excited," she said, smiling. "A whole weekend alone—what will we do?"

Elliot leaned forward to kiss her. "I think we'll figure it out."


	34. Chapter 34

"Elliot!" Olivia hurried into the squad room, a look of panic on her face. Elliot was sitting at his desk but quickly stood up when he saw the look on her face, thinking they were about to go out on a call.

"What am I going to feed your kids this weekend?" she blurted out. "You know I don't cook."

Elliot sat back down in his chair and put his feet up on his desk. "Don't worry," he laughed. Kathy has it all planned out. She's been making lists since I told her. She'll leave meals that you can heat up. Or you can order take out."

"Okay, good." Olivia sat down with a sigh of relief. "I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I had no idea what I would make for them. "

"Why you worrying about feeding Elliot's kids?" asked Fin on his way to the coffee machine. Elliot explained the situation and Fin shook his head. "He's gonna owe you, Liv. He's gonna owe you big time."

"Yes, he is," agreed Olivia, looking at Elliot meaningfully. It was just starting to hit home what she had gotten herself into by agreeing to help Elliot out. _What on earth am I going to do with three kids for three days?_

"Dickie is thrilled that you're coming to his soccer game," Elliot told her. "Evidently you've got a coolness factor that his parents don't."

Olivia smiled. "I'll be there and be his biggest cheerleader—as long as he can tell me how to get to the school. " She felt better knowing that Dickie didn't mind her filling in for the weekend.

* * *

Olivia was pouring herself a cup of coffee when a distraught looking middle-aged man walked into the room. He wore a faded jeans jacket over a workman's clothes, the type a mechanic or maintenance person would wear.

"They sent me up here to talk to you," he said to the room in general. "The guy downstairs said you could help me."

"Who's up?" asked Fin, looking around at his colleagues. The detectives were on a rotating schedule for response to calls and walk-ins.

"I am," said Olivia. She set her coffee cup down and walked over to the man. "I'm Detective Benson, sir—how can I help you?" She motioned to the chair at the side of her desk. On the other side, Elliot put his feet down and busied himself looking through a file.

"It's my daughter," the man blurted out. "I think she's been raped."

Olivia pulled a pad of paper in front of her. "Okay, sir, can you give me your name?"

"Roger Barnes," he said, looking miserable.

"And how old is your daughter?"

"She's twenty-one."

Olivia looked at Elliot. This could present a problem. "Where is your daughter now, Mr. Barnes?"

"She went to work," he said, looking down at his hands. "I tried to get her to come in and talk to you, but she wouldn't."

"Okay," said Olivia gently. "Why don't you just start at the beginning and tell me everything, Mr. Barnes. How do you know your daughter was raped? Did she tell you?"

"She came home late last night," he began. "I was up getting a drink of water and saw her come in. She was a mess—her hair all messed up, her clothes torn. Her face was bleeding. When I asked her what happened, she didn't want to tell me. "

"What did she say happened?" asked Olivia.

"She didn't really; she was too upset. I asked her if someone hurt her, and she just started crying. I wanted to take her to the emergency room but she refused, said she'd be fine. She took a really long shower and went to bed. I didn't know what to do. And then this morning, she just got up and went to work like nothing happened. I told her she that if someone hurt her, she needed to come report it, but she said didn't want to." He put his face in his hands and began to sob. "I can't stand to see my little girl hurting; she's all I've got. Her mother died five years ago and it's just been the two of us."

"Do you know where she was last night? Where the attack might have happened?"

"She called and told me she was going out with some of the girls after work." Barnes accepted the tissue that Olivia handed him and swiped at his eyes. "She's real good about that, about letting me know when she's not gonna be home. But she didn't say where they were going."

"Does your daughter have a boyfriend, Mr. Barnes?"

"No, she was seeing a guy a few months ago, but they broke up."

Olivia set her pen down and looked at Elliot before speaking. He leaned forward, prepared to back her up.

"Mr. Barnes, the problem is, your daughter has to report this attack herself." Olivia told him gently. "No one can force her to report a rape, it has to be voluntary."

"But—she won't!" Barnes stood up, clearly agitated. "I don't want the bastard that hurt her to just get away with it. You've got to find out who did this to her."

Olivia looked at Elliot helplessly. This was one of the toughest parts of their jobs. Often after a rape or sexual attack, victims went into denial mode. They wanted to pretend it never happened and move on with their lives. Both detectives knew there was no moving on without closure, as painful as it could be to get there.

"Mr. Barnes," Elliot came around the desk and put a hand on his shoulder. "We understand how frustrated you are. You give us what information you can, and we'll see what we can do, but like Detective Benson just told you, this is up to your daughter. We can't proceed without her making a complaint."

Barnes sank back into his chair, running his hands through his salt and pepper hair. He answered Olivia's questions in a tone of resignation giving her his daughters name, where she worked, and their home address.

"I'm going to give you some information," said Olivia, handing him a card. "This is my card. Your daughter can call me, anytime, day or night. If she doesn't want to call me, on the back is the number for Victim Support Services. It's totally confidential and they'll hook her up with a counselor or a support group, whatever she needs."

"But what if she still won't admit she needs help?" he asked in frustration.

"Then you've done all you can," said Elliot gently. "Just be there for her; don't push her too hard. When she's ready to talk, she'll know that you're willing to help."

He thanked them and left the squad room, his shoulders slumped. Olivia looked at the information on her pad. "She works at a bookstore not too far from here," she said to Elliot. Her eyes were troubled. "What if we just go talk to her?"

Elliot shrugged. "Cragen won't like it."

"It won't be anything official. We'll go offer to help; if she says no, we back off."

"We can tell him we're taking an early lunch, "said Elliot, reaching for his coat.

* * *

They found the bookstore, a small independent place that sold mostly used books and newspapers, with a few racks of new items. It wasn't hard to spot their victim. Alicia Barnes was a pretty girl, with long, curly dark hair, deep brown eyes—and ugly bruises around her neck, paired with what looked like a split lip. She appeared to be alone in the store. When the two detectives walked in, she looked up from the cash register. "Can I help you find anything?" She started to smile, and then winced as her cut lip stretched.

Olivia pulled out her badge. "I'm Detective Benson," she said to her in a quiet voice. "This is my partner, Detective Stabler. We're with the Special Victims Unit."

Alicia looked apprehensive. "How can I help you?"

Olivia stepped up closer and leaned in toward Alicia. Her voice was soft and gentle. "Alicia, we understand that you may have been the victim of an assault. We'd like to help you, if you'd let us."

The young woman stepped back, away from Olivia, and looked back over her shoulder where a door that led to a small office stood partially open. Evidently she wasn't totally alone in the store after all.

"Who told you that?" she hissed at Olivia. She looked terrified.

"Is there someone here?" asked Olivia in a low tone. "Would you like to talk to us somewhere else, somewhere more private?"

"I don't want to talk to you at all," she said. "I don't know where you got your information, but you're wrong. Please leave."

Elliot stepped forward. "What happened to your lip?" he asked softly. "How did you get those bruises on your neck?"

Alicia's hand flew up to her mouth. "It's nothing," she muttered, then repeated. "Please leave."

Olivia handed her a card. "If you change your mind, please call me at any time at this number."

The girl took the card and shoved it in her pocket. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for them to leave, her expression cold and hostile. When she crossed her arms, the sleeve of her pullover rode up, showing a ring of bruises around her wrist as well. She saw Olivia noticed and tugged the sleeve back down.

"Someone sure did a number on her," said Olivia when she got outside. Her voice was angry and frustrated. "Did you see the bruises on her wrist?"

"Yes," said Elliot. He put his arm through Olivia's and led her away from the store. "We tried, Liv. There's nothing else we can do right now."

When Elliot got home that night, Kathy was on the computer in the living room, with Eli playing on the floor near her with a pile of toys. He gurgled with pleasure when he saw his father enter the room. Elliot hung up his coat, and then scooped the baby up.

"What are you doing?" he asked Kathy, looking over her shoulder. He could see a list of phone numbers, followed by lots of text.

"Typing up some notes for Olivia," said Kathy, not pausing in her typing to look up at him. "Do you mind putting some water on to boil for the pasta? The sauce is cooking on the stove."

Elliot dropped a kiss on the top of her head and took Eli to the kitchen. Setting the baby on the counter, he held him firm with one hand while he filled a large pot of water and set it on the stove.

"Let's go see what your big brother and sister are doing," he said to Eli, and headed upstairs.


	35. Chapter 35

Management

Elliot was beginning to wonder if he had created a monster by suggesting a weekend away. At home, Kathy was trying to anticipate all of the things that could possibly go wrong and make contingency plans. At work, Olivia alternated between worrying that she wouldn't do things the "right" way and wondering if Kathy didn't trust her, because Kathy called her several times a day to discuss details. Elliot reminded Kathy that Olivia was a detective who was used to thinking quickly and handling tough situations. He reminded Olivia that he and Kathy would only be a phone call away and that she had lots of built-in support with the twins.

"We don't leave for three days and I'm already exhausted," he confided to Cragen over coffee. "Why do women have to make things so complicated?"

Cragen shrugged. "If I knew the answer to that, Elliot, I might still be married."

Fin, who was passing by, shook his head and pointed at Elliot. "You gotta keep things simple, Stabler. You shoulda just taken her out to dinner."

Elliot laughed. "You're probably right, Fin. Hopefully things will calm down once we actually get on the road."

Munsch came over to join in the conversation. "Is Olivia really going to be able to handle your kids for a whole weekend?" he asked. "Maybe you should have started out with an evening or an overnight. A weekend is a long time." He leaned back against a desk and crossed his arms, prepared to elaborate on his statement.

"Olivia will be fine," Elliot began but stopped when he saw Olivia rushing into the room, talking on her cell phone, her eyes locked on Elliot. He stood up and reached for his coat.

"Elliot, we've got to go," she said, flipping her phone shut. "Remember Roger Barnes? He's down at the bookstore where his daughter works and has the manager trapped in his office. He asked the uni's to call me when they responded to the 911 call."

"Why the manager of the bookstore?" asked Elliot as they hurried out of the building.

"I have no idea," answered Olivia. "But it's probably quicker to walk than get the car."

They ran the two blocks to the bookstore. There were three police cars parked at varying angles in front of the building, lights flashing. Two uniformed officers were attempting to control the crowd gathering in front of the store and another stood in front of the door. He stepped aside when the two detectives flashed their badges.

Inside, two officers had their guns drawn on either side of the office door. A third officer was escorting a frightened looking young woman toward the front door.

"What have we got?" Elliot asked the policeman.

"There's a man in the office holding a gun on the store manager. Says the guy raped his daughter. He asked for Detective Benson when we showed up."

"You work here?" Elliot asked the girl. She nodded, her eyes filled with terror and beginning to tear up.

"I just started today," she sobbed. "He said the girl who usually works here quit without notice so the temp agency sent me over this morning."

"Okay, you wait outside with the other officers. We'll need to take your statement but for now, let's get you out of the way."

Olivia was moving around the store so she could peer into the office. "Mr. Barnes?" she called. "It's Detective Benson." She could see the store manager sitting at his desk, his hands behind his head like a suspect being apprehended. Roger Barnes stood behind him, holding a pistol to the back of his head. He was dressed like before, in a workman's uniform and a faded denim jacket.

"This is the man who raped my little girl!" He yelled when he saw Olivia. "You still gonna tell me you can't do anything about it?"

"Mr. Barnes," said Olivia, moving closer to the office. She wanted to be able to make eye contact with the man without putting herself in the direct path of his gun. The two uniformed officers and now Elliot had their guns trained on the man but she knew better than to take chances with a distraught and armed man. "This isn't going to help your daughter. Put down the gun and let us handle this. We'll make sure he's brought to justice if he's the man who attacked your daughter."

"I know it's him!" Barnes shouted out the door. "Alicia quit her job yesterday, with no notice. Said she couldn't come back here again. She wouldn't do that without a good reason."

"I promise you, we'll follow up," said Olivia, moving a little closer. "Just put your gun on the floor and kick it out here. We'll take care of things as soon as you get rid of the gun."

Barnes hesitated, looking down at the cowering manager. He was a middle aged man with a stocky build and was sweating profusely. He looked at Olivia with pleading eyes. Barnes pulled the gun away from the back of his head, but instead of dropping it on the floor as Olivia had asked him, flipped it around in his hand and brought the butt end of the pistol down hard on the back of the manager's head. There was a loud thump as the man slumped forward, his head hitting the wooden surface of the desk. Before the uniformed cops could move in, Barnes bent over and placed the pistol on the floor and kicked it through the office door.

"Put your hands up, Barnes." Elliot yelled. Barnes complied and the detective hurried in with a pair of handcuffs. "You're under arrest for assault." He recited the Miranda warning and turned him over to the two uniforms. "Take him down to the precinct." Elliot ordered. "We'll be right behind you."

Olivia was bent over the manager, who was groggily raising his head from the desk. She picked up her handset and called for an ambulance.

"I'll go to the hospital with him and wait while he's checked out," said Olivia. "You talk to that girl and find out what happened and then go interview Barnes. I'll meet you back at the station."

Elliot nodded and started toward the door. Through the glass he could see the temp standing with the uniformed officer, arms wrapped around herself against the cold. Elliot doubled back to the office and spotted a pink parka hanging on a hook on the wall. He grabbed it and took it outside to the girl. He didn't want to bring her back inside the store until the injured manager was taken away.

She gratefully accepted the jacket and slipped it on. Elliot pulled her aside, as far away from the curious onlookers as he could get and pulled out a pad. He got her name and contact information before he asked: "So what happened in there, Jackie?"

"It was crazy….I got here at about 10 and Mr. Horning was showing me around…"

"Mr. Horning? Is that the manager?"

"Yes, John Horning. Like I said, he was showing me around the store and then starting to tell me how to run the cash register, when this man came in. He looked really upset, and when he saw Mr. Horning, he pulled a gun out and made him go into the office with him. I don't think he even saw that I was there; he was so focused on Mr. Horning. He started yelling about how he'd raped his daughter and the cops wouldn't do anything about it, but he was going to make things right. He wasn't paying any attention to me, so I picked up the phone and dialed 911. When he heard me talking, he yelled at me to get off the phone and get down on the floor. So I did, and then the cops showed up and he started yelling about calling a Detective Benson, said that she knew what was going on."

"Okay, Jackie. One more thing and then you can go-do you know the girl who usually works here? Alicia Barnes?"

Jackie shook her heard. "No, like I said, the temp agency sent me over this morning. I've never even been in this store before."

Elliot gave her his card and told her to call him if she thought of anything else. The ambulance had arrived and the EMT's were inside, strapping John Horning to a gurney. Elliot heard the man protesting that he was fine and didn't need to be taken to the hospital. He was more worried about locking up the store than the blood dripping from the back of his head. Olivia assured him that the policeman would secure the store and then bring his keys to the hospital. She pulled Elliot aside. "Go talk to Barnes and find out what he knows," she said softly. "So I know whether to bring this guy in. And call Alicia down to the station. Maybe when she sees what her father has done, she'll tell us what happened."

"Got it covered," said Elliot. He walked back to the station, stopping at a deli to pick up coffee and a sandwich which he ate on the way back. When he arrived in the squad room, Roger Barnes was sitting in one of the interrogation rooms and Cragen was watching him through the window.

"What's going on with this one, Elliot?" asked Cragen with a scowl. "Why was he asking for Olivia but I don't know anything about it?

Elliot briefly explained the history with Roger Barnes. Cragen's scowl deepened when he got to the part about them visiting Alicia at the bookstore, but he didn't say anything. "Well, get in there and find out what the hell is going on. We need to get this mess straightened out."

Before going into the interrogation room, Elliot asked Munsch if he could track down Alicia and get her to come down to the station. Munsch picked up the phone and began dialing.

Roger Barnes had calmed down considerably and now looked worn out and discouraged. He sat in the hard plastic chair, hunched over the table. He still wore his faded denim jacket, although the room was warm. Elliot pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down.

"Mr. Barnes," he said gently. "Tell me what happened."

Barnes looked up at him, his eyes bloodshot and underscored with dark circles. He looked as if he hadn't slept since they'd seen him three days ago. "I couldn't stand it anymore." He began hesitantly. "Alicia would come home and go right to her room. She wouldn't eat anything. I could hear her crying in there when she thought I was asleep. Then, she didn't go to work today. When I asked her about it, she said she quit. She wouldn't tell me why. Just said she couldn't go back there. And then she slipped and said something about not being able to face "him" and I put it together…it had to be her boss who did this to her. And when I asked her that, she got all upset and started crying again." He stopped and took a deep ragged breath.

"What happened then?" Elliot prodded.

"I left to go to work, but I kept thinking about it, how this guy must be the one who hurt her. I met him once when I picked Alicia up at the store and I knew he was a lot older than her. I couldn't stand the thought that he used his position to take advantage of my baby-and knowing that you police weren't going to do anything about it. "

"Where'd you get the gun?" asked Elliot.

"It was my old man's. He died a few years ago, but I knew my mother still had it locked away. So I went by her house when she was at Mass and picked it up. I thought I'd just use it to scare him, you know? I wanted him to turn himself in, but he started giving me a hard time. Said he never touched Alicia, but I could tell he was lying. Just take a good look at him—he's got scratches on his face and hands, where she must have fought back."

Elliot made a note to call Olivia at the hospital and have her check on this detail. Just then, Cragen knocked on the door and poked his head in. "Elliot, I need you for a minute."

Stepping out of the room, Elliot saw that Munsch had succeeded in tracking down Alicia Barnes. She was standing at the window, staring at her father, who sat looking dejected and lost.

"What happened? What did he do?" she asked when she saw Elliot.

"He went down to the bookstore and pulled a gun on your boss." Elliot told her. He looked her in the eye and spoke softly. "Alicia, now's the time to speak up and come clean about what happened. You've got to tell me who attacked you. Was it Horning?"

Alicia stared through the window at her father, and then turned to Elliot. Her eyes were brimming with tears. "Yes," she said, so low that Elliot could barely hear her. "Yes, it was him."


	36. Chapter 36

_Happy New Year to all of the SVU Fans out there! Sorry for the long period between updates, but I kind of lost my inspiration for awhile. Reading other people's updates, plus a few new reviews, plus a few SVU marathons over the holidays inspired me to get going again. Reviews are always welcome and well, motivating! It helps to get feedback and know that people ARE reading. _

Reversal

By the time Olivia returned from the hospital with a stitched and bandaged John Horning, Elliot had already taken Alicia's statement and was more than eager to interrogate her boss.

"The hospital cleared him?" He asked Olivia after she'd placed him in a room. He'd called to tell her that Alicia was finally ready to talk and had named Horning. She'd placed him under arrest on the spot, despite his protests that he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"Yes. No sign of a concussion, he just needed two stitches." Said Olivia, looking at him through the window. He looked worse for the wear and decidedly nervous. There was blood on the collar of his chambray shirt and his hair stuck up in the back around the bandage. "The ER doc looked at the scratches on his face and hands and confirmed that they were from human fingernails."

"Let's let him stew for a few minutes. I'll fill you in on what Alicia told me." said Elliot.

"Where's Mr. Barnes?"

"He's being arraigned on assault charges, but the ADA is going to recommend ROR. She'll consider dropping the charges altogether depending on what we get out of this turd. Alicia went to court to be with her father."

"How's she doing?" asked Olivia as she headed for the coffee pot. She looked tired. Elliot handed her the other half of the sandwich he'd picked up at the deli. She tore into it without even checking to see what it was. "Ugh. Elliot. Why do you always get mayo AND mustard? That's just gross. Pick one or the other."

Elliot laughed at the expression on her face but became serious as he answered her first question. "Alicia's doing okay. I think she was glad to finally get it all off her chest. She feels terrible about what her father ended up doing because she didn't tell him the truth right away. They were both more concerned about protecting each other than taking care of themselves. I think they could both use some counseling when this is all over."

"So, what happened between her and Horning?"

When Elliot had finished filling Olivia in, she was ready to go rip into Horning herself. "What a bastard!" she muttered when she heard all of the details. "Barnes should have knocked him a little harder with that pistol." They agreed that Elliot would go in first, and Olivia would join him later, depending on how the interview was going.

Elliot walked in to the interrogation room and pulled out the chair opposite Horning. He sat down, placed a pen and pad on the table in front of them and lined them neatly up before looking at Horning. Elliot folded his hands in front him.

"So, Mr. Horning—or John—can I call you John?" Horning shrugged, looking nervous. His complexion was pale save for two bright spots on his cheeks. There were beads of sweat around his hairline. "Ok, John—this is your chance to come clean voluntarily. The DA tends to be more lenient when suspects are cooperative."

"DA?" asked Horning. "Am I being charged with something? "

Elliot looked at him evenly. "John—Roger Barnes didn't come into that store and threaten you for no good reason."

"He's got the wrong idea," Horning stammered. "He's mistaken. He thinks I hurt his daughter, but I would never…."

"John," Elliot sighed. He picked up his pen and tapped it against the pad of paper impatiently. "How did you get those scratches on your hands and face?"

Horning looked down at his hands as if he'd never seen the scratches before. "I…was scratched…by a friend's cat…"

"Really?" Elliot put the pen down and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. "Must have been a pretty big cat to leave scratches that deep and wide."

Horning stared at his hands, but said nothing.

"John," sighed Elliot again. He leaned forward again and stared at Horning until the man raised his face and looked him in the eyes. "I'm telling you, this is your opportunity to make it right. Tell me the truth about what happened and I'll let the DA know how cooperative you were."

Horning's glance flickered away. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said defensively. "Nothing happened."

Elliot stared at him for a few minutes, then picked up his pen and jotted a few notes on his pad. "Okay, John, this is what we've got. We've got a young woman, a former employee of yours, who says you attacked and raped her. She's got bruises and cuts on her face, neck and arms. You've got scratches on your hands and face and the ER doctor has already confirmed that they're from human fingernails. That's going to give us enough probably cause to get a warrant for a DNA test. Which is going to match any evidence taken from Alicia Barnes the night of the attack." _Which would be true_ _If she had only reported it and agreed to a rape kit…thought Elliot. _

Horning's eyes widened, obviously surprised to hear that Alicia had reported the attack. "But, I thought, Alicia said she didn't…."

"Didn't what, John?" Asked Elliot, snapping forward in his seat. "Didn't report the attack? Why do you think her father came to your store?"

Olivia stood outside the interrogation room, watching through the mirror with Cragen as Horning turned into a blubbering idiot and sobbed out his version of events to Elliot.

"Guess he didn't need me after all," mused Olivia, watching her partner with admiration.

"Just like you two didn't feel the need to keep me in the loop?" asked Cragen in his I-am-not-at-all-pleased-with-you-right-now tone.

"Captain," sighed Olivia as she turned to face him. "We found out about the rape through the father. He said Alicia wouldn't report it, and since she's an adult, we couldn't do anything about it."

"And so you took matters into your own hands?" asked Cragen, folding his arms. "You can't force a victim to make a complaint, Olivia. You know that as well as I do."

"I know, Captain, I know. " She turned back to the exam room. "I talked Eliot into going with me to talk to the girl. She wanted nothing to do with us so we backed off and let it go. But her father—he couldn't let go. He figured out who attacked his daughter and went after him today. When the officers responded to the call, he asked for me, because I was the one he talked to originally."

They stood in silence, watching as Elliot hammered out details with Horning. The manger's version of events was much more benign than what Alicia had shared with Elliot. According to Alicia, he had asked her to go to dinner with him to discuss a possible promotion at the bookstore, which turned out to be a ruse to get her alone and make advances. When those advance were spurned, he'd become aggressive, accusing her of leading him on and "owing him" if she wanted to keep her job. Horning's version was that they'd mutually agreed to go out to dinner, that he'd misread Alicia's signals and thought she was interested in him and that he'd backed off when he realized she wasn't. It didn't take Elliot long to persuade him to revise his story to be consistent with Alicia's. To top off the deal, he persuaded him that pressing charges against Alicia's father would only make matters worse.

"He's good," Cragen said, and turned to Olivia. "You two lucked out this time, Benson. " He left her standing at the window and walked back to his office.

Olivia waited until Elliot had charged Horning and read him his rights, then went in the room to bring an attorney waiver and help take the official statement. Horning looked embarrassed when he saw Olivia, but she was matter of fact and professional in her interactions with him. "I'm glad you did the right thing, Mr. Horning," she said coolly when they were finished. "You can't undo what you've done to Alicia, but at least you're not putting her thought he trauma of a trial."

By the time Horning had been paired with a public defender, arraigned and release on bail, it was late afternoon. The ADA had agreed to drop charges against Roger Barnes and he and Alicia had gone home with a list of counseling services provided by Olivia.

"Do you have time for a quick drink?" asked Olivia as they exited the courthouse. Elliot glanced at his watch. He was tired, and wanted to go home and be with his wife and kids, but he needed to wind down first.

"Yeah," he said. "I think we've earned one."

A_gain, feedback welcome and needed! Next, Elliot and Kathy will get away for their romantic (steamy?) anniversary weekend-but not without a rocky beginning. _


	37. Chapter 37

Unwinding

Elliot called Kathy to let her know that he and Olivia were going out for a drink. He assured her that he'd be back in Queens in time to get Dickie from the sports bus as he'd promised that morning—the soccer team had an away match that afternoon and wouldn't be getting back to the school until late.

"Dickie called after school to say the team is stopping to eat on the way home," explained Kathy "and then he's going to get a ride home with Eric. So stay as long as you want."

"No, that's okay," replied Elliot, surprised by her relaxed attitude. "I won't stay long—it's just been a rough day and I told Liv I'd stop for one drink with her."

"Elliot, it's fine," Kathy insisted. "I didn't make a big dinner because I didn't know when you and Dickie would be home. And-"she lowered her voice to a husky tone "we'll have plenty of quality time this weekend, won't we?"

Elliot hesitated, and then asked: "Would you like to meet us out? Elizabeth could watch Eli for an hour or so couldn't she?"

Kathy laughed. "That's sweet of you, honey, but hanging out with a group of cops rehashing their bad day isn't exactly my idea of a good time. Besides, I've got packing to do. You go and have fun—I'll see you later."

Elliot put down the phone, shaking his head in pleased disbelief. The Kathy of two years ago would have ripped his head off before suggesting he stay out and enjoy a few drinks with Olivia. He looked up to see Olivia coming back from the locker room where'd she gone to freshen up.

"Ready?" she asked, stopping at her desk to pick up her coat. "I called Declan and he's going to meet us at Murphy's—you don't mind, do you?"

Elliot reached for his own coat. "No, I don't mind." He really didn't. Maybe it was time he got to know this new man in Olivia's life a little better.

Murphy's was crowded for a weekday afternoon. Olivia went to grab a table while Elliot went to the bar to get drinks. She found an empty table and pulled a few more chairs over—Fin and surprisingly, Munch had said they'd stop over when they finished up their paperwork for the day.

Elliot returned with their drinks. Olivia picked up her glass to clink against his. "All's well that ends well," she said and took a big swallow. "Although Cragen sure wasn't too happy with us for leaving him out of the loop." She filled Elliot in on her conversation with the Captain outside the interrogation room. Elliot winced.

"At least he didn't pull our time off for this weekend," he said. "We'll be getting the garbage cases for awhile to make up for this."

Olivia was grilling him—again—about details of the kid's schedules and routines when Declan arrived and walked over to their table. She stood and gave him a quick kiss. "El, you know Declan, right?"

Elliot stood and extended his hand. "Sure, I've seen you around the station. Don't know if we were ever introduced though." The younger man had a firm handshake.

"Can I get you two something from the bar?" asked Declan as Elliot took his seat again. They both shook their heads and he left to go get his own drink. Elliot watched him walk away. He was a good-looking guy, tall and dark haired. _Black Irish, he thought. Good for Liv for finding someone who makes her happy._

They were filling Declan in on the events of their day when Fin and Munsch showed up. Munsch ordered a beer in a glass bottle. Fin watched as Munsch pulled an antimicrobial wipe out of his pocket and wiped down the neck before taking a drink.

"You really are a freak," he said, shaking his head in disgust.

"Hey, I have a friend who works in a brewery," exclaimed Munch. "You wouldn't believe the conditions these bottles are stored in before they're shipped. Rats running all over them…"

"Enough! I don't wanna hear it!" protested Fin, taking a long swallow from his own unwashed bottle. "There are some things its better not to know."

It had been quite awhile since Elliot had spent an evening out with friends, and he was glad now that Kathy had insisted he stay. Usually, he had one quick drink with the group before heading home to his family. His co-workers no longer expected anymore from him; they knew that he was always torn between the two loves of his life—his family and his job. This was nice—spending time together without the pressures of the job. Even Munsch was less annoying after a few beers.

They ordered sandwiches from the bar and Elliot switched over to soda. He still had to drive to Queens and after Kathleen's DUI experience, the last thing he needed was for anyone to question his ability to drive.

"So, Olivia's watching your kids for the weekend," said Declan. Olivia had challenged Fin to a game of darts and Munsch was keeping score while providing an ongoing narrative on the history of the game. Elliot and Declan were alone at the table.

"Yeah, she's being a good sport about it," answered Elliot, laughing as Olivia threatened to close Munsch's lips together with one of the darts. "Kathy and I don't get away much."

"You and Olivia are close." It was a statement, not a question, and something in the way Declan said it made Elliot take a closer look at the younger man.

"We've been partners a long time."

Declan nodded, looking down at the drink he was twisting around in his hands. He raised his eyes to look at Elliot. "She talks about you a lot. "

Elliot shrugged. "We spend a lot of time together. Olivia's like family."

"Has it ever been anything more than that?" Elliot's first instinct was to snap "Of course not!" but he could see how difficult it was for Declan to have this conversation.

"No," said Elliot simply. "It's never been, and never will be anything else. My wife and I have had some rough times, but I love her and always will. "

Declan nodded. "Thanks, man," he said. "I just needed to know where things stand."

_Shouldn't you be asking Olivia these questions? Elliot thought, but held his tongue. It wasn't his business._

When Elliot got home a little before ten p.m., the house was quiet. Kathy had left the outside and kitchen lights on for him, but there was no sign of her. He hung up his coat and headed quietly up the stairs. Lizzie and Dickie's doors were closed but he could hear faint music coming from both of them. He tapped lightly on each door and went in to say good night.

When he got to their bedroom, Kathy's side of the bed was turned down and a book lay on her pillow but she wasn't in sight. The bathroom door was partly opened and as he moved closer, he could see her moving around. He pushed open the door and leaned against the jamb, watching as she rearranged the contents of the travel cosmetic case she'd been packing since he'd told her about their trip.

"Hey," he said softly. She looked up at him and smiled.

"You're home—did you have a good time?"

Instead of answering, he crossed over and took her in his arms, pulled her close, and turned her around so her back was against the sink. He kissed her, long and hard, his body pressed along the length of hers.

"Wow, did you miss me or something?" She laughed, pulling away to look at his face. Ignoring her question, he began to kiss his way down the length of her neck to her shoulder.

"Don't you want to wait and save your energy for the weekend?" she whispered into his ear.

He took her hand and held it against the front of his pants. "Does this feel like it will wait until this weekend?" She laughed softly and moved her hand slowly up and down, assessing the situation.

"No, I'd say we better take care of that right away," she said softly. Elliot's strong arms scooped her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist while he carried her back to the bedroom. He put her gently on the bed, and stood looking down at her as he unbuttoned his dress shirt and tossed it aside. The rest of his clothes followed suit. His blue eyes were dark and full of longing as he gazed down at his wife, who looked back up at him, mirroring the same emotions. She made no move to undress herself, so Elliot made short work of tugging down her pajama bottoms and panties. He lowered himself to the bed and bending over, raised the thin whit e t-shirt she wore so he could kiss her breasts. Kathy sighed with pleasure and slipped a hand up to caress the back of his neck.

"I love you, Els," she said softly, pulling his face down for a long kiss. His mouth tasted like whiskey and she nibbled at his bottom lip in a teasing manner. He stopped her with a rough kiss and moved so he was poised over her. Looking deep into her eyes, he entered her and watched her face as she closed her eyes in pleasure.

"I love you too." He said hoarsely.

After, they lay in bed together, catching up on their respective days. Kathy told him about her attempts to get Eli to try to eat something other than Cheerios. Elliot laughed at the antics of his stubborn son, knowing exactly who he took after.

"I met Olivia's new guy tonight," he told Kathy. "He seems like a decent guy. I hope it works out for them."

Kathy raised herself up on her elbow and looked down at him, a worried expression on her face. "You don't think she'll have him over while she's watching the kids do you?"

Elliot started to laugh, and hen realized that Kathy was serious. He pulled her back down beside him.  
"No, of course she wouldn't," he assured her. "Her focus is going to be totally on the kids this weekend, don't worry."

Kathy cuddled into the crook of his arm and was quiet for a minute. Elliot was drifting off to sleep when she added: "Maybe you should say something to her."

Elliot groaned. "Kathy, I don't need to say anything to her. It's not going to be an issue, okay? Olivia's going to have her hands full with the kids; there's no way she's going to add Dec to the mix."

"Maybe she'll ask him to come help," argued Kathy. "I just don't think it's a good idea for someone we don't even know to be…"

"She won't." Elliot said firmly. He kissed the top of Kathy's head. "Let's get some sleep, I'm beat. And Eli will be up early."

_Reviews welcome! Next, Elliot and Kathy finally get their weekend away, but not without a few bumps along the way. _


	38. Chapter 38

Vexed

The rest of the week passed without incident; Elliot was sure that they would catch some major case late in the week that would cause Cragen to cancel their time off, but by some miracle, Friday morning came and all was status quo. He and Olivia had their paperwork caught up, Munsch and Fin were on call for the weekend, and Kathy had packed so much and left so many lists for Olivia that Elliot thought it would be possible for them to stay away for a month and not be missed.

Olivia came to the house an hour before they were due to leave so Kathy could walk her through some things and give Eli a chance to warm up to her. The twins were off at school, but looking forward to coming home to a pizza and movie party with their weekend guest. They refused to consider her the babysitter.

Eli went to Olivia immediately when she held out her arms and she carried him through the house as Kathy pointed out all of the things she felt needed explaining. On the refrigerator was posted a long list of emergency numbers: the pediatrician, Kathy's mom, Maureen and Kathleen's apartment, the hospital, the school, nearest neighbors and the B&B where'd they be staying. Olivia started to laugh when she saw it, but quickly stopped when she saw the from Kathy's face that she was totally serious.

"Um, this is great," she said. "I'll be prepared for anything."

For Elliot's part, he handed over the keys to the van, wad of money for take-out and pointed out where the beer and wine were for after the kids were in bed. "You'll need something by then," he told her. Kathy had cleaned up t heir bedroom, changed the sheets, and even, to Elliot's great amusement, taken the stash of condoms out of his nightstand drawer and hidden them in the back of her closet. The baby monitor was plugged in next to the bed, with the volume turned up all of the way. Elliot had given her the combination to his gun safe next to the bed so she could safely stash her weapon.

"He's gets up pretty early," Kathy warned her, taking Eli back for a hug. He wiggled away, wanting to go back to Olivia.

"I'm an early riser too," Olivia assured her. "We'll be fine together."

Elliot picked up Kathy's coat and held it out to her. "Come on, Mama Bear," he said, smiling. "It's time to take the plunge." He'd already loaded their suitcases into the car and had printed out directions to the inn.

Kathy slipped her arms into her coat. She had an odd look on her face, as if she was trying to making a decision and before Elliot realized what she was about to do, was blurting out to Olivia: "Olivia, I was just wondering about your boyfriend, Declan? He won't be coming over while we're gone, will he? I mean, Elliot tells me he's a great guy and I'm sure he is, but I wouldn't want you to be distracted, or confuse the kids by waking up to someone different…"

Olivia was looking at her with her mouth half open in surprise. Elliot gently took Kathy by the arm and tried to steer her toward to the door, but his misguided wife pulled free and looked at Olivia, clearly waiting for a response.

Olivia swallowed down a rush of anger. _Did Kathy really think she'd do something like that, invite a strange man to sleep over at their house while she was in charge of their kids?_

"No, Kathy, of course not." She said firmly. "You don't need to worry."

Elliot threw Olivia a look of apology and pushed gently but firmly in the direction of the door. He went over to the baby in his partner's arms and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Be good, little man." Eli gurgled non-committaly, clearly happy in Olivia's arms. He patted Olivia on the shoulder. "Good luck, partner. We'll give you a call when we get there. My cell phone is on if you need anything before then."

* * *

Once in the car, Elliot put both hands on the wheel and took a deep breath. He didn't look at Kathy.

"What's the matter?" Kathy slid over to put her hand on his leg but he ignored her, starting the car and backing out the driveway, giving the engine a bit more gas than was necessary. He sure didn't want to start their trip with a fight, but he was pissed that Kathy had raised the subject of Declan with Olivia.

"Elliot, what is it?" Kathy asked, now sounding mad herself. "What—are you upset at what I said to Olivia?"

Elliot threw her a steely glance, but didn't answer, trying hard to compose himself before blowing the situation out of hand. He understood Olivia, knew her background and how she felt. With her history of an alcoholic mother who often hooked up with strange men, he knew how insulting she would find Kathy's question. With all of the things Olivia had seen and experienced in her own life and on the job, there was no greater advocate for children. She'd never put his kids, or anyone else's, in a questionable situation.

"I told you it wouldn't be an issue," he finally said, his voice controlled but icy. "Why couldn't you just let it go?"

"I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page," said Kathy defensively. "Is it really that big of a deal?"

Elliot started ahead of him at the road, trying to stay calm. He knew Kathy meant well, _but goddammit—she could be such a control freak!_

"It was insulting to Olivia, Kath. She's sensitive about stuff like that; after all she went through with her mother. She'll interpret it as you thinking she's a slut and not able to make responsible choices when it comes to men and kids."

He could see a dawning awareness in Kathy's eyes. "I never thought of that," she admitted, but then an angry tone snuck back into her voice. "This isn't easy for me, Elliot, leaving my kids with someone else. I needed to be sure."

Elliot turned to look at her. "I'm their father, Kathy. Can't you give me some credit too? If I'd thought it was an issue, I would have talked to Olivia about it myself. Can't you just, for once, trust my judgment too?" As soon as the words "for once" slipped out of his mouth, he knew he'd crossed into dangerous territory. That was one thing they'd learned in marriage counseling, to avoid trouble phrases that lumped one issue into a pile of baggage with other past mistakes. Inwardly, he winced, hoping Kathy would miss that part of what he'd said.

"For once?" she exclaimed. "You make it sound like I'm some kind of control freak."

He so badly wanted to say _"If the shoe fits…"_ but knew that was blow the lid off the situation and there'd be no weekend away.

"Not a control freak," he said softly. "But you can let go once in awhile, you know. Trust my judgment."

"Whatever." She slumped down low on her side of the seat and stared out the window, looking for all the world like their daughter Kathleen, by far the most dramatic of all of their children. He sighed and kept driving. _What a start for a romantic weekend!_

_Feedback/reviews welcome! Is this rough start going to ruin their getaway? Will Olivia be able to handle the kids?

* * *

Stay tuned!_


	39. Chapter 39

Predicament

The Stablers rode in silence for the next half an hour or so, each caught up in their own thoughts and recriminations. Elliot drove them out of Queens, over the George Washington Bridge and into New Jersey. It would take about 3 and a half hours to get to the B&B where he'd made reservations; the plan had been to stop for lunch along the way, but now he wasn't sure what was up. Kathy remained slumped over on her side of the car, staring out the window and looking miserable. He felt like an ass. He knew how hard it was for her to leave the kids; he should have just hustled her out of the house and let the whole issue drop. He could apologize to Liv later.

He consulted his directions again to be sure he was correctly navigating to get from the NJ Turnpike to the Garden State Parkway which would eventually get them back into New York State. Out-of-towners always found it strange that you had to travel through New Jersey to get to places in New York, but native New Yorkers took it as a matter of course.

They'd been on the Parkway for a few minutes when Kathy sat up straighter and gazed around. Without looking at him, she said: "Can we stop at the next rest stop?"

Elliot looked at her in surprise, but her face was still turned away toward the window.

"Already?" he started to ask, when she cut in abruptly.

"I know, I'm as bad as the kids, but I need to stop, okay?"

"Sure," Elliot replied. "There's one coming up in a few miles, no problem."

He pulled off the parkway and parked the car in the lot outside the rest stop. Kathy reached for the door handle to immediately get out, but had to wait for Elliot to unlock the doors.

"Hey," he said softly, putting a hand on her arm to stop her. She turned to look at him and he saw that she'd been crying.

"Aw, Kath," he sighed, and reached out a hand to wipe the tears from her cheek. He hated to see his wife cry, hated it even more when he was the cause for her tears. "Don't cry, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," she sobbed, turning toward him and burying her face against his shoulder. "You planned this wonderful weekend for us and now I've ruined it."

Elliot reached for a tissue from the box on the floor. He put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up so he could wipe her tears. She smiled wryly and took the tissue from him so she could blow her nose.

"You haven't ruined anything," he assured her. "We just got off to a rough start, but that was as much my fault as yours. Let's start over, okay?"

She smiled at him through her tears. "Okay," she whispered.

* * *

They got out of the car and walked into the rest stop together. Kathy went off in search of a bathroom while Elliot got in line at the Gourmet Bean Coffee kiosk and got them both a drink. He handed her her favorite—a tall chai latte, and took a sip from his own strong espresso.

"Thanks, Els," she said, taking a sip. "You're not afraid I'll have to stop again in five minutes?" She joked, smiling up at him. She'd washed her face and touched up her make-up and looked ready to put their argument behind them.

Elliot put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. "We can stop as many times as you want. It's our weekend."

They got back on the Parkway for a few more miles. Before long they were out of New Jersey and onto the New York State Thruway. The further they drove the less traffic they saw. The countryside was beginning to change from commercial to rural and they could see the beautiful colors of the fall foliage.

"You picked a great weekend," said Kathy. "The trees are just beautiful."

It wasn't until they left the Thruway and got on twisting Route 28 that the true beauty of the season hit them. This was the shortest leg of the trip but would take the longest because the road followed the curves and valleys of the beginnings of the Catskill Mountains. Elliot found that he was driving more slowly, not only out of concern for safety on the twisting road, but because he was trying to take in the gorgeous scenery. The trees exploded in a riot of every possible hue between yellow and red in a breathtaking view that was as different as the streets of Queens and Manhattan as he could imagine.

"This is really gorgeous." He commented, as they approached a body of water that the map identified as the Ashokan Reservoir. The road followed the edge of the reservoir until they came to the small village of the same name. Kathy pointed out a place-Olive's Country Store and Café—and suggested they stop there for lunch.

"This is going to be interesting," laughed Elliot as they got out of the car. "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

"Oh stop it," Kathy exclaimed and elbowed him. "It's nice to be out of the city."

The sign advertised "Everything You Need in One Place" and to Elliot, it appeared to the absolutely true. Olive's offered the whole gamut, from gasoline for the car, to fishing licenses, bait and tackle and clothing to wear while fishing, along with souvenirs to take back to your family when you didn't catch any fish.

It was a sunny day and unseasonably warm, so they decided to eat at one of the outside tables of the rustic café. The menu was simple but plentiful. They ate a leisurely lunch: Sue's Secret Recipe Chili for Elliot and a sandwich and sweet potato fries for Kathy. Kathy eyed the chili dubiously when the waitress (who also doubled as the cashier) had walked away.

"Chili? Really? So much for a romantic weekend," she teased. "I hope you brought antacids."

Elliot nodded toward the store. "I'm sure they sell them in there," he said, "Along with everything else under the sun."

As they were finishing up their meal, a pick-up truck pulled up to the gas pumps with something suspended in the bed of the truck.

"What is…oh my God, that's a dead deer," gasped Kathy in horror. "He's got a dead deer in the back of his truck!"

The waitress snickered as she laid their bill on table. "Yup, bow hunting season started last weekend. You'll see a lot of that around here now." She nodded at Elliot, assuming he'd be picking up the tab. "You can pay that inside whenever you're ready."

They went into browse a little before paying the bill. It certainly was an eclectic mix of merchandise, but it made sense. This wasn't like New York City where there was a specialty shop on every corner. Stores were few and far between out here. Why not stock everything that people might need?

Elliot looked at his watch. "We'd better get going," he told Kathy. "We've got a ways to go and I'd rather not be driving these roads after dark."

Kathy plucked a roll of Tums off a shelf and handed them to him, her eyebrow raised. "I'll meet you in the car."

* * *

The scenery got more and more beautiful as they drove deeper into the Catskills. There would be long stretches of wilderness and then, suddenly, a small village or hamlet, with one or two stately Victorian homes, assorted rustic looking structures and on the outskirts, lots of trailers that appeared to be seasonal camps. Kathy read Elliot the names of all of the towns, mountains and rivers they passed, giggling at some of the more unusual ones: Mt Tobias*, Shandaken, Oliverea, Chicester…

"Lots of Indian names," remarked Elliot. Kathy raised an eyebrow. "Native American," he corrected himself.

They were on a remote stretch between Highmount and Arkville when Elliot noticed a woman on the side of the road, waving her arms to flag them down. It was about four o'clock and almost dusk, but Elliot could see that she looked disheveled and frightened. There was no sign of a house or vehicle nearby, but there appeared to be a trail leading off into the woods behind her.

"What on earth?" Kathy began, but Elliot was already pulling over to the side of the road and putting on his safety blinkers. He put the car in park, and reached across Kathy to pop open the glove compartment and get his gun.

"Elliot, what are you doing?" Kathy shrieked. "You're not on duty, this isn't the city…"

"Not taking any chances," said Elliot tersely. He opened the car door and got out, putting the gun in his pocket as he did so. He tossed her his cell phone. "See if there's any coverage out here."

_Reviews, please! Feel free to be honest—I can take it. ;-) Will Elliot and Kathy ever get to enjoy some time alone?_

*Oz fans will enjoy this reference—something Keller liked to do: mount Tobias (and there really is Mt. Tobias in the Catskills)


	40. Chapter 40

Detour

Elliot was starting around the front of the car when he heard Kathy's door open.

"Stay in the car!" he barked at her. "And lock the doors." He heard her door close and the electronic locks click into place—and the window roll down so she could hear what was going on. He walked toward the woman, who was coming down the road to meet him.

"What's going on, ma'am?" he asked. The woman appeared to be in her sixties, wearing faded jeans and a barn-style jacket. Her face was red and flushed and she looked as if she'd been crying.

"It's my husband," she gestured back toward the woods. "I think he's having a heart attack."

"Kathy, is there a signal for that phone?" Elliot called back to the car.

"Yes, but it's only one bar," she called back.

"Try dialing 911." Elliot instructed her, and then turned back to the woman. "Where's your husband?"

"In our cabin, back there," again, she pointed toward the trail leading into the woods. "I tried to start the truck, but the battery must be dead. So I took the trail out to the road, it's shorter."

"Your phone's not working?" Elliot asked.

"We don't have a phone," she was sobbing now. "Please, help my husband. He's unconscious back there."

Elliot turned to look back at the car. Kathy appeared to be talking to someone on the phone. He didn't want to leave her here by herself, but he knew CPR and was certified as a First Responder. He couldn't just let a man die out in the woods. He ran back to the car.

"Did you get thru?" he asked Kathy. She nodded, still listening to the dispatcher at the other end.

"What's the address of your cabin?" he called back to the woman. She shook her head.

"No address—it's a private road, on Taylor's Pond. Tell them it's Bob Taylor, they'll know where it is."

"I'm going to go back with her, "Elliot told Kathy. You wait here in the car until the police or ambulance get here and show them where to go. Don't get out of the car until they get here, ok?"

Kathy nodded and relayed the information from the woman to the dispatcher. She watched as Elliot and the woman hurried off down the trail into the woods. _What if this was a trap? What was Elliot walking into?_

_

* * *

_

Elliot followed the woman as she hurried down the path. It was just a foot trail, at first through dense pine trees but shortly opened into a field grown up with vegetation. At the far end of the field, Elliot could see a clearing with a run- down looking log cabin and a beat up pick-up truck beside it. On the far side of the cabin was a dirt road that must have led back to the main road, but not as directly as the footpath the woman had taken. There wasn't another house or building in sight and Elliot couldn't imagine living so remotely, especially without a phone.

The woman led him up the wobbly porch steps. A nondescript dog barked at them from where it was tied to a doghouse about 50 yards from the house. Inside, the cabin appeared to be all one big room, with a small staircase leading to a loft space above.

A large man lay sprawled on the floor near the kitchen table. Elliot rushed over to him and felt for a pulse. Nothing. He bent his head to check for breathing—again, nothing. The man was wearing a heavy plaid flannel shirt and he ripped open the buttons to feel for the notch in the sternum to begin CPR.

"How long has he been like this?" he asked the woman, starting compressions. He tipped the man's head back so he could do respirations as well, and then began to alternate, 30 compressions to every two breaths.

"He was complaining that he had indigestion," the woman sobbed. "Then he grabbed his chest and fell down. I didn't know what to do. I told him we need a phone, but he won't pay for them to run a line out here."

In the distance, Elliot could hear the sounds of sirens, growing louder by the second.

"Why don't you go back out to the road, so they know where to go?" He instructed. The woman nodded and hurried back out the door. Elliot continued compressions, stopping only to check occasionally for a pulse. Nothing. His arms were starting to ache and he didn't know how long this man had been without a pulse, but he wasn't going to stop until help arrived.

He heard the sounds a several cars driving up and then car doors slamming. Within seconds, there was an EMT to relieve him. Another was setting up a defibrillator unit. Behind them, stood a big, burly man wearing a uniform that labeled him as a Delaware County Sherriff, and a second later, a New York State Trooper entered the room. Elliot heard another car pull up and then Kathy and the woman were outside on the porch, peering in.

Elliot stood up, heart racing and out of breath. He was warm from the exertion and stepped aside to unzip his jacket to take it off. As he pulled his arm out of the sleeve, he felt his service gun start to slide out of the pocket and reached to grab it.

There were the immediate sounds of guns quickly unholstered in response. "Hold it right there," barked the Trooper. "Don't make another move." Kathy gasped in the doorway.

Elliot knew the routine. He put his hands in the air and turned toward them. "I'm an off-duty cop, NYPD" he told them.

"So you say," said the Sherriff, reaching over to take Elliot's gun where it hung from his pocket while the Trooper stood with his gun trained on Elliot.

"I can show you my badge," offered Elliot. He kept his hands in the air and made no attempt to reach for it. "Inside jacket pocket."

The Sheriff inspected Elliot's gun and passed it over to the Sheriff, then came over to pat Elliot down. When he got to his badge holder, he pulled it out and looked at it. "Says NYPD. Detective Elliot Stabler, badge 6313."

"We'll have to confirm that," said the State Trooper. He motioned Elliot outside with his gun. "Come have a seat in the back of my car while I radio in."

Elliot nodded and went out with the officer, raising his eyebrows at Kathy as he went by her. From the back seat of the trooper's SUV, he watched as the EMT's loaded Mr. Taylor, now strapped onto a gurney, into the back of their ambulance. It appeared that they had been able to revive him, which made Elliot nod his head and smile. _At least all of this hassle won't be for nothing_.

It took about ten minutes for the Trooper's barracks to radio back. The Trooper quickly opened the door of his patrol car and apologized to Elliot for the inconvenience.

"I'd have done exactly the same thing," said Elliot, accepting his handshake of apology.

"So what brings you so far from the City?" asked the Trooper, who'd identified himself as Ben Johnson.

Elliot nodded toward Kathy, who was coming down off the porch to meet them. "My wife and I are headed to Margaretville for the weekend."

"And you stepped right into this mess," said Johnson. "Bill Taylor's as stubborn as they come. He and Louise shouldn't be out here alone with no phone, but he won't listen to anybody. Maybe this will knock some sense into him."

The ambulance pulled away and after conferring with the Trooper Johnson that all was well with with the Elliot situation, the Sheriff ushered Mrs. Taylor to his car to follow them to the hospital. Elliot and Kathy climbed back into their car.

* * *

"Well, that was exciting," said Kathy wryly as they sat in the front seat. "Maybe we're not meant to have a weekend alone together." Dusk had turned to twilight and the sky was almost a navy blue, with bright stars started to show. Out here, away from the main road, it was getting almost too dark to see the dirt road and Elliot was glad when the Trooper suggested they follow him out.

"We'll have our weekend," promised Elliot, putting a hand on Kathy's leg as they bumped along the rough road. "What else can go wrong?"

_Really, what else could go wrong? smile One romantic weekend, coming right up. Or maybe we should check in on the Olivia and the kids first?_


	41. Chapter 41

_A brief interlude from Kathy & Elliot's weekend to check back in on things at home. Note: this contains one of the areas where I divert from canon: on the show, all of the Stabler children look like Kathy, with blond hair and fair complexions, but in my fiction, the baby Eli looks like his father. Someone had to get those good looks…._

Holding Down the Fort

Olivia was beginning to wonder how Kathy Stabler did all of this without losing her freaking mind. She'd had a great day with the kids, but it was only 7:00 and she was exhausted and in dire need of a drink.

After Elliot and Kathy left, she took Eli for a walk to the park, which tired him out enough that he took a solid two hour nap. She puttered around the house, unpacking her bag and re-reading Kathy's lists of what to do and who to call. When the twins came home, she had a snack prepared for them and was glad to sit down and hear about their day—just to have some semi-adult companionship. They decided to order pizza for dinner and watch a movie while they ate. It only took the twins ten minutes to agree on which pizza toppings they wanted, but it was a good half an hour of debating before they agreed on a movie that they both wanted to see and that Olivia would allow them to watch.

She quickly discovered that you couldn't just sit and watch a movie with an active ten-month old baby who'd just had an extra-long nap. Olivia had tried putting him on the floor with some toys, but he kept crawling over to the television set and trying to poke his fingers in where he'd seen them put the DVD. Every time he did it, he'd push a button or two which messed up the movie and made the twins groan. She foolishly left her glass of diet Pepsi within his reach on the coffee table. As soon as Eli spotted it, he made a grab for the glass, tipped it over and began to gleefully splash in the puddle. After she cleaned up that mess, Olivia tried holding him on her lap, but all he was interested in was tugging on her earrings, poking fingers in all of her orifices and putting toys down the cleavage of her shirt.

"How do you parents watch a movie when Eli is awake?" she asked in frustration.

Lizzie looked at her with a "duh" expression. "They don't."

She decided she would forgo the movie and give the baby an early bath. Kathy said he loved to play in the water, so maybe that would fill up some time and tire him out enough to go to sleep. As she was heading up the stairs to the bathroom, she heard the phone ring. Dickie answered while Lizzie paused the movie.

"Hey, Dad," she heard him say and went back downstairs so she could talk to Elliot. _Is it too late to beg them to come back? _"Everything's cool—we had pizza and now we're watching a movie. No, it's not R-rated. Olivia wouldn't let us pick that one. Sure, here she is."

"Hi, El," said Olivia, trying to keep the phone away from Eli's curious fingers. "You get there okay? I was beginning to wonder."

Elliot briefly filled her in on the unexpected drama they'd encountered on the trip up. "Only you, Elliot," she laughed. "You can't ever leave the job behind, can you?"

"That's exactly what Kathy said." Elliot chuckled. He sounded relaxed and happy. "But the paramedics said if I hadn't been there, the guy wouldn't have had a chance of making it. As it is, they're not sure. So, I guess it was worth it. Here, Kathy wants to talk to you."

Kathy got on the line and asked Olivia if the baby was driving her crazy yet. "Oh no, not at all, "Olivia lied. He really was a very sweet baby—just active—very active. She told Kathy about their walk to the park and his two hour nap.

"Uh oh," said Kathy.

"Uh oh?" asked Olivia, alarmed.

"When he naps that long, sometimes it's hard for him to fall asleep at night. Or he falls asleep and then wakes up at 3 am. Try to get him good and tired before you put him to bed. But don't keep him up later than 8:30 or he'll be really cranky tomorrow."

Kathy asked to talk to the baby. He was more interested in trying to push the buttons on the phone than listen to a disembodied voice, so after a minute, Olivia passed the phone over to the twins and headed back upstairs. She ran a warm and shallow bath and undressed Eli. He got excited as soon as he saw the tub filling up and was happy to support himself at the side of the tub, slapping happily at the side and babbling to himself as she found his basket of tub toys and tossed a few in. Olivia tested the water and then carefully lowered him in; setting him on the special non-ski d mat Kathy had shown her.

She knelt by the side of the tub and watched the little boy splash and play. Unlike the other children, who were blond like Kathy, he looked just like Elliot—dark hair, blue eyes, wiry build. She could imagine Elliot in this exact same spot, watching his baby play and for a second, felt a flash of intense jealousy. Why did Elliot get to have everything she didn't—a spouse who loved him, great kids. He'd grown up in a family—granted, not a perfect family, but better than with an alcoholic mother who resented her child's existence.

Then the moment passed. Olivia knew that Elliot had worked hard for and deserved everything he had. He struggled daily to maintain a balance between work and home. He and Kathy had had their share of problems over the years. It wasn't to resent him for having what she wanted; it was up to her to find it for herself. Spending this time with his children, acting like a real family—this might be just what she needed to do that.

She let the baby play as long as he was content, adding a little warm water to the tub every few minutes so he didn't get cold. It didn't take long before her hoodie was soaked from his splashing, so she stripped down to the tank top underneath and got into some serious play with him, swimming his toys through the water at him until he giggled with delight. She managed to wash his hair without too much of a fight, remembering Kathy's advice to keep him distracted.

She scooped the wet, wiggly baby out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel to carry him into his room. Holding him like this reminded her of the first time, in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, moments after he'd been born, his mother unresponsive on the gurney next to them. She'd clutched him to her chest and wrapped him in a blanket, watching in horror as the paramedic worked to revive Kathy. All could she think was: _How am I going to tell Elliot his wife died on my watch?_

Shaking off those unpleasant memories, she put Eli down on his changing table and opened his towels to give him a big raspberry kiss on the belly while she searched for a diaper. He giggled with delight, but she was relieved to note that he seemed to be winding down. He held fairly still while she dressed him in soft cotton pajamas and sat him up to towel dry and brush his dark curls. Her heart melted a little when he reached his arms up to be picked up again. She settled him on her hip and went downstairs to warm up a bottle.

* * *

She persuaded the twins to go bed at 11 pm, reminding them that they all had to be up in the morning for Dickie's soccer game. Thankfully, one of his teammates was picking him up to take him to the pre-game practice; Olivia would bring Lizzie and Eli along later in time for the actual game.

The house finally quiet, she walked around turning off lights and checking doors and windows to be sure they were locked. Finally, she headed up to Elliot and Kathy's bedroom and stood in the doorway. She had to admit, it seemed strange to be sleeping in her partner's bed, the bed he shared with his wife. There were personal touches all over the room and she felt like she was invading their space. Still, the prospect of a night on the couch didn't appeal to her, and she needed to be close by in case Eli work during the night. She went into the bathroom to change into comfortable sweats to sleep in and brushed her teeth. When she climbed into bed, she realized she had chosen Elliot's side on the left—the pile of manuals on the nightstand from a recent FBI training he'd attended gave it away. She smiled, and turned out the light.

_Review's welcome! I promise: next chapter will be about the romantic weekend get-a-way._


	42. Chapter 42

Ravenous

When they'd bumped their way back to the main road, Trooper Johnson stopped his vehicle, got out and walked back to Elliot & Kathy's car. Elliot opened his window as the tall man peered in.

"Where exactly are you two heading?" he asked. Elliot told them the name of the B&B where they had reservations.

"Ah, Melody's place," he said, brightening. "Why don't you keep following me, it can be tricky to find after dark if you're not familiar with the area." Elliot thanked him and followed his taillights for another thirty minutes. They passed a sign welcoming them to Margaretville: "Home of the Cauliflower Festival". Elliot had forgotten to explain that one to Kathy and she shook her head in disbelief as he filled her in.

"Maybe we can come back for it next year," she laughed. "I'm sure the twins would be thrilled."

The trooper made a few turns off the main road until they ended up in a long, curving driveway. At the top of the hill was the B&B, a stately Victorian house with wide porches, all brightly lit and very welcoming.

"Elliot, this is gorgeous," Kathy said as they gathered up their things and climbed out of the car.

Johnson got out of his vehicle and waited for them. "I'm just going to come in and say hi to Melody while I'm here," he said, reaching to take one of the suitcases from Elliot. As they walked up the stairs, the door was opened by a blond woman in her thirties.

"Ben, is everything okay?" she asked, obviously surprised to see him.

"I'm just bringing you your guests—you're expecting the Stablers, from New York City, aren't you?"

"Yes, but….hello…." she said, looking from Kathy & Elliot and back to Ben, clearly confused as to why her guests were arriving with a police escort.

"Mr. Stabler is a police detective," explained Trooper Johnson. He'd taken off his hat and was busy running a hand through his hair as he spoke. Elliot was beginning to realize that the man might have ulterior motives for wanting to escort them directly to the B&B. "He ran into a woman with a problem on the way up here and stopped to help out; may have saved a life. So I wanted to be sure they found your place okay."

"Well, you've had an eventful trip then," she said, turning back to the Stablers. "I'm Melody Jansen, welcome to Meadow Wood House. Let's get you up to your room so you can relax a bit." As they walked into the house, she threw Trooper Johnson a look that clearly said: "You can fill me in later!"

As they walked through the house, she pointed out the different areas of interest. There was a beautiful dining room where they'd be served breakfast in the morning, any time before 10 am. Off the ornate Victorian style formal living room was a glassed in porch with comfortable furniture, decorative plants, books and a widescreen television.

"This is the common room, you're welcome to use it anytime." she said. "Your room is up here."

She led them up a wide, curving staircase to an upstairs hall and a door that opened into a suite of rooms. There was a small sitting area with a television and table, a bedroom and a large bathroom containing the Jacuzzi tub.

Trooper Johnson, who'd followed them in with their suitcase, set it down just inside the door and said goodbye. Melody showed them a few details about the rooms, left them a key and started out the door, obviously eager to catch Johnson before he left. She pulled the door closed behind her.

* * *

Elliot watched as Kathy walked around, looking at everything with obvious delight. The rooms were immaculately clean and beautifully decorated in keeping with the style of the house. In the sitting area, a large bowl of fruit decorated the table, next to a bucket containing a bottle of wine on ice and two beautiful crystal wine glasses. Kathy lifted the wine out of cooler so she could read the label. "Beringer White Merlot…how did she know?"

Elliot grinned at her. "See, I do pay attention. I asked her to have a bottle waiting for us."

Kathy gave him an appreciative smile and continued on her tour of the suite. In the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the queen-sized bed to test the mattress, then kicked off her shoes and lay back against the pillows. The bed had had an intricately carved headboard and four tall posts, covered by a rich tapestry spread.

"I think I've died and gone to heaven," she murmured. "We could just stay here all weekend, and never leave the room."

Elliot came to the bedroom and stretched out beside her. "I think we'd get hungry," he laughed. "No room service in a B&B." He scooted over closer to his wife and stroked the side of her face gently with the back of his hand. She turned to smile at him. "You know what the best part is?" He asked her.

"What?" She asked, taking his wrist and pulling it to her mouth to lay a kiss on the inside, where his pulse beat.

"We're alone, totally alone. No interruptions." Elliot slowly began to unbutton her blouse, kissing each inch of flesh as it fell open.

"Mmmm….alone…what should we do?" Kathy mused. "Take a nap?"

"You can try," Elliot murmured against her warm skin. He kissed his way to the waistline of her jeans and then deftly unbuttoned and unzipped them with his one free hand.

"You haven't lost your touch," said Kathy, closing her eyes and losing herself to the sensation of her husband's lips on her skin. Despite the many issues that had driven the Stablers apart over the years, they'd always remained connected sexually—which was how they'd ended up having another baby so late in life. Kathy found the forty-plus year old Elliot as magnetic as he had been when they met in high school and for Elliot, his attraction to his wife had deepened despite the inevitable toll having five children had had on her body. To him, they were all signs of her love and commitment to him and their family and it made him want her even more.

Elliot rose up over her, pulling his own t-shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. His jeans would need to follow shortly, but for now, he concentrated on ridding Kathy of hers. He tugged her pants down over her hips and off her legs, letting them drop to the floor. He knelt between her legs and looked down at her, with her face flushed, her eyes closed and lips parted and thought that he had never loved her more. He kissed the inside of each of her legs, just above the knee.

She opened her eyes and reached for him, pulling him up next to her on the bed. "You have too many clothes on," she whispered, reaching for his belt. She took her time, slowing undoing the buckle, and then snap and zipper, deliberately brushing against his the bulge of his erection as often as she could. She slipped her hand inside the waistband of his boxers, caressing the length of him. He groaned, and reached for her, pulling her so she lay on top of him, her blouse and bra open, naked from the waist down. He put a hand at the back of her neck and pulled her face to his for a long, wet kiss. Kathy pulled away after a bit and smiled down at him.

"What do you think?" She said softly, "Shall we ditch the rest of these clothes and get serious?"

* * *

"I'm starving," groaned Elliot, "but I don't feel like going out to eat—do you?"

"No," agreed Kathy. "I don't ever want to leave this bed—except maybe to try out that Jacuzzi." She pulled the sheets and blanket up over her and watched as a naked Elliot started looking through the drawers of the nightstands. "What are you looking for?"

"I thought they might have some menus from places that deliver," he said, coming up with nothing. "I'll go find Melody and ask her what she recommends—what are you in the mood for?"

"Anything," said Kathy, lazily. "When you come back, you can open up that bottle of wine."

Elliot pulled on his jeans and shirt and slipped on his shoes without bothering with socks. He went to the door and pulled it open, looking down the hall for signs of their hostess: nothing. Pulling the door closed behind him, he went down the stairs, hoping to find her in the living area. Not there either, but he heard sounds from beyond the dining room, from what had to be the kitchen. He approached a swinging wooden door and knocked on it before pushing it open and peering in. Melody was at butcher block table in the middle of the room, kneading dough. She looked up as he entered.

"Oh hello, Mr. Stabler," she said cheerily, continuing to work. "Can I help you with something?"

"Elliot," he corrected her. "I was wondering—could you recommend a place in town that would deliver take out up here? We decided we'd like to stay in and relax tonight."

Melody looked at him appraisingly. His clothing was disheveled, as if he'd just picked it up off the floor and thrown it back on. His face was flushed and he was smiling like a kid on Christmas_. I can just imagine why he's tired._ "Well, that's understandable; you've had a busy day, with driving all of the way up here and then helping out the Taylors. That Bill Taylor—he's a stubborn old fool—maybe he'll listen to Louise now and pay to install a phone line. They retired to that cabin a few years ago and he had these big ideas to live simply, but look where that got him!"

Elliot put his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and nodded. He really wanted to get back up to the room with Kathy and try out that tub.

"I tell you what—I don't usually do this, but that was a nice thing you did, helping the Taylor's—Louise was a friend of my mother's—it won't be anything fancy, but if you'd like, I could make up some sandwiches and bring them to your room in a little while."

"You don't have to do that," protested Elliot, "we just didn't want to have to get dressed again..." _Melody smiled to herself; she'd been right!_ "—to go out—we'd be happy to order out if you could just tell us who'd deliver."

"Not many places will come this far out," she said, working the dough emphatically. "And I'd be happy to do it. Just give me half an hour or so—I'm working on some cinnamon rolls for your breakfast tomorrow. I'll knock on the door and leave a tray outside your room so I don't disturb you and your lovely wife." She smiled at him broadly, leaving Elliot with the feeling he'd just gone through an x-ray machine and she knew everything that had gone on in their room during the last hour.

"Well, thank you, that's very nice of you…," he said, backing towards the door.

"Just don't let the other guests know that I did it—the couple down the hall from you expect me to wait on them hand and foot," she rolled her eyes. "Now—what time do you think you'll be down for breakfast in the morning so I can plan? I serve until 10, but I ask guests to make a reservation the night before so I can have everything ready. "

"Uhh…9:30?" offered Elliot. He'd hoped that they could sleep in the next day, but in reality, neither he nor Kathy had slept past eight in years.

He left the kitchen and headed back upstairs to their room. Kathy was still in the bed, curled up under the covers, but she opened her eyes when he walked in.

"Any luck?" she asked.

"She offered to make us some sandwiches and bring them up in a little while," he said, moving over to the small love seat and reaching for the bottle of wine. "She doesn't usually do that, but she wanted to thank us for helping out the Taylor's—evidently she knows them."

"That's nice of her." Kathy watched as Elliot stripped the foil off the bottle of wine and tried to figure out how the fancy corkscrew on the tray worked. He finally managed it and poured two generous glasses of wine. He took a banana out of the bowl of fruit on the table and headed back over to the bed with his wife.

"Banana and merlot?" laughed Kathy, sitting up to take the glass he offered her. She propped herself up on a pile of pillows and took a sip. Mmm…perfect." Elliot set his glass and the banana down on the nightstand and stripped back down to his boxers, and climbed into bed beside her. He peeled the banana and held it out to Kathy.

"Like a bite of my banana?" he asked, a mischievous grin on his face. Kathy laughed and pushed his hand away.

"Maybe later, you perv." She loved to see him this relaxed and happy. To be truthful, it had been way too long since they'd had any time alone. First there had been their separation, and then she'd been pregnant with Eli. What free time they'd had had been spent at marriage counseling and doctor's appointments. Now that Eli was getting a little older, they could leave him with his older siblings for short periods, but it had been years since they'd had any significant chunk of time to themselves.

"Thank you," she said softly, smiling at him. He looked at her quizzically, mid-bite. "For all of this—" she waved her hand around at the room. "For thinking it up, for making the plans, for asking Olivia-"

"Olivia!" Elliot exclaimed, finishing the banana and tossing the peel into the wastebasket next to the bed. "I totally forgot—we said we'd call when we got here." He went to his denim jacket, thrown over the back of an arm chair and searched the pockets for his cell phone.

"Hey, Dickie, how are you, man?"….

_Feedback please. More detail next time? _


	43. Chapter 43

Gifts

Kathy curled up in the bed and watched as Elliot roamed around the room, naked as the day he was born. Her husband was incapable of relaxing; he had two states of being: asleep, or doing something. To Elliot, the fewer clothes he had to wear, the happier he was. As the kids got older, he'd had to compromise and wear boxers or sweats around the house but she could remember many nights when he'd paced the floor with baby Maureen, stark naked as he tried to soothe her back to sleep. It wasn't until she was a toddler and made a daring grab for his dangly bits that he gave in and started wearing clothes.

She enjoyed the view as he explored the room, looking into cabinets and drawers, checking out the coffee machine and opening up the antique wardrobe to find that it had been converted to an entertainment unit, complete with flat screen television, DVD player and stereo. He picked up the remote and started flipping through the channels.

She never got tired of looking at her husband's body. When they'd met as teenagers, Elliot had been a gangly teenager, tall and thin, with a nose that looked too big for his face. He'd grown into the nose and started working out and lifting weights when he was in the Marines, a routine he kept up when he joined NYPD. He was a perfect specimen of the male physique with well-developed muscles and not an ounce of body fat. She didn't even mind his tattoos; although she frequently had to remind him how hypocritical it was to forbid his children to even think of getting one. And then there were those dangly bits—who said that size didn't matter? Not that she'd been with many other men to have a comparison, but she was secretly pleased that her husband was so well-endowed.

"Els, come back to bed," she urged, as he stood in front of the television. Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Must be the food," said Elliot, making a grab for his jeans. He opened the door, bare-chested, to find Melody leaving a tray on a waiter's stand that had been set up in the hall.

"Oh, Mr. Stabler…." She stammered, looking directly into his muscled chest. She looked flustered.

"Elliot," he reminded her, picking up the tray. Concentrating on the food, he was oblivious to her reaction to his state of partial undress. "And thanks again for making this up for us."

"My pleasure," she stuttered, and hurried off down the hall.

Elliot carried the tray into the bedroom and set it on the foot of the bed. He and Kathy examined the contents, frankly too hungry to care if it was peanut butter and jelly on stale bread or caviar. Melody had put together a simple but elegant meal of chicken salad on small dinner rolls, an assortment of raw veggies cut in strips with a bowl of dip and a plate of cheese and fruit. There were two huge and obviously home-made chocolate chips cookies. Elliot went to the small refrigerator in the sitting room and came back with two bottles of sparkling water. He climbed back into bed and pulled the tray so that it rested between the two of them. He used the remote to find a news channel and they watched while they devoured the food.

"What's this?" asked Kathy, picking up a folded paper from the tray. She opened it and read out loud: "See you at breakfast at 9:30. The Brickmans will be dining then as well." She looked at Elliot. "We have a reservation for breakfast?"

"Yeah, I had to give her a time," said Elliot, reaching for another sandwich. "Breakfast comes with the room—you know, bed and breakfast—but she only serves until ten. She wanted me to tell her what time we'd be down so she could be ready."

Kathy sighed. "Well, you know we're going to be awake—when's the last time either of us slept past seven?"

"That's what I figured," said Elliot. "And then we can go do some sightseeing. Woodstock isn't far; I thought it might be fun to drive up for the day."

"You mean you don't intend to spend the whole weekend in bed?" She looked over at him with a big grin on her face. "I figured I wouldn't be able to walk right by the time you're done with me."

Elliot looked at her and laughed. "Well, I'd hate to ruin your plans…." he began. Kathy smiled at him.

"Woodstock sounds nice. And then we can come back and try out the Jacuzzi." They went back to work finishing the tray of food on the bed between them.

* * *

"I could really, really get used to this," said Kathy, leaning back into the pillows with a sigh. The sheet had slipped down, leaving her breasts bare. Elliot couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her looking so happy and relaxed. He reached for the bottle of wine to refill her glass.

"If you keep plying me with alcohol, I'm going to fall asleep on you," she warned as she accepted the glass.

"I don't think so," he said. He got out of bed and picked up the decimated tray of food. He opened the door to the hall a crack and took a quick look both ways before taking a step out—still nude—to put it back on the waiter's stand. Kathy laughed, picturing Melody or other guests getting a view of his behind as he turned and came back into the room.

Elliot crossed over to his weekend bag and felt around in the outside pocket until he produced a small package wrapped in silver tissue paper. He brought it over to the bed and handed it to Kathy.

"Happy Anniversary," he said softly, giving her a gentle kiss. She looked at him with a delighted smile and carefully unwrapped the package. Inside was a velvet jewelry box. When she lifted the lid, she saw an intricate silver pendant with a diamond in the center.

"Elliot!" she gasped. He smiled at her reaction. "It's a Celtic Infinity Knot," he explained. "No beginning or end, so it stands for unending commitment and love. And the diamond, well, because you deserve diamonds, after all you've been through in the last year."

Kathy slipped her hand behind his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. "I love it." She lifted the pendant and silver strand out of the box and held it up to the light. "I'll never take it off."

Elliot took it from her and worked at the clasp. Kathy lifted her hair so he could put it on for her. They both looked down to where the pendant dangled just above her bare breasts. Almost without thinking, Elliot reached out to circle her nipple with his thumb, but Kathy pushed his hand away.

"No, wait—your turn!" She got out of bed and picked up his discarded t-shirt to slip on. She wasn't anywhere near as comfortable with nudity as her husband and the room felt chilly after being under the covers for so long. After rummaging in her own bag, she came back with a small box of her own and handed it to him.

"I've been dying to give this to you," she said. "Happy anniversary, babe."

Elliot turned the box over in his hands and shook it gently, but there was no sound. "Hand grenade?" he guessed. Kathy laughed. "Just open it!" He tore the wrapping away and revealed a clear plastic box. "An iPod Touch?" he said, his reaction subdued. Kathy knew that Elliot was not into gadgets. He could use the computer at work and at home for what he needed to do, but the intricacies of his cell phone often had to be explained to him.

"Give it a chance," Kathy urged. "Dickie helped me load all of your favorite music on it, so it's already to go. And you can use it to play games, and even watch movies if you want. "Elliot looked at her skeptically. _Games and movies? When would he ever have time for those things?_ He extricated the device from its packaging and turned it over in his hands, trying to find a power button. Kathy laughed at his confusion and showed him the silver tab at the top. He turned it on and his brows knotted in confusion at the array of icons that lit up. Kathy pointed to the square at the bottom labeled "iPod". Elliot stabbed at it with his thick finger, feeling ridiculous. A screen titled "Playlists" popped open and Elliot laughed at the first on the list: "Dad's Old Fogey Music". He touched the screen and smiled at the list of songs that came up.

"We went through all of your old cassettes and CD's," said Kathy, relieved to see him smiling. "Pick one."

He jabbed his finger at a title and smiled as the beginning notes of Bruce Springsteen's "The River" began to play.

"There are headphones so you can take it when you go running," Kathy told him. Elliot reserved comment on that; in his opinion, joggers needed to be more aware of their surroundings, not oblivious because they were rocking out to music only they could hear. He set the iPod down on the bed, stood up and held out his hand to his wife.

"Dance?" he asked. She laughed, and gave him her hand. He pulled her off the bed and close to so they could sway in time to the music. She rested her head on his chest and he slipped a hand up to caress the back of her neck. They both remembered dancing to this song in their dating years, and at the various Springsteen concerts they'd attended over the years.

"Happy Anniversary," he said softly, tipping her head up so he could kiss her. His hand travelled from her neck down her spine and up under the hem of his t-shirt to her bare buttocks. He pulled her closer, so that she could feel his growing erection against her stomach.

"I knew it," she laughed. "I'm going to need a wheelchair after this weekend."

_Comments and feedback welcome! Please review. I appreciate all of your suggestions. Next chapter, Elliot has a run-in with another guest. _


	44. Chapter 44

_Warning: Explicit sexual content._

_Many thanks to Kr3ativ23 for her suggestion of an altercation with another guest. Elliot is never far from his job as keeper of the peace, is he? Please review-feedback helps keep the creative juices flowing.  
_

Boorish*

***** –adjective

of or like a boor; unmannered; crude; insensitive.

Kathy slowly drifted into a state of semi-consciousness. The room was bright with sunlight—_what time was it? Why hadn't she heard Eli wake up?_ She bolted up to a sitting position and looked around the room, realized where she was, smiled and sank back into the pillows. She rolled onto her side to reach for Elliot, but his half of the bed was empty. Sitting back up, she noticed that the bathroom door was partially closed and that the shower was running.

"Hey, babe," she said as she slid the door of the shower open and stepped into join her husband. Elliot smiled at her. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. When's the last time you slept until 8:30?"

"Is it really that late?" Kathy gasped. She hadn't bothered to look at the clock. "How long have you been up?" She had vaguely registered the aroma of coffee as she'd made her way to the bathroom. They had drifted off to sleep in each other's arms last night after making love for the second time. It had been a long day and neither of them had been able to stay awake long enough to try out the Jacuzzi as they'd planned.

"Not too long," he smiled as he pulled her under the stream of warm water with him and bent to kiss her. The shower was a large, square tiled cubicle, more than big enough for two people. Elliot already had a tube of shower gel in his hands and squeezed some onto his hands. He turned her around so her back was up against his front and started soaping her up, spending an inordinate amount of time on her breasts. She laughed softly and relaxed back into him, only to step forward again when she felt his erection against her back.

"Again?" she laughed. "Elliot, really, you'd think you were 17 again."

Elliot smiled sheepishly. "I can't help it," he said, reaching for her. "You turn me on."

Kathy sighed, but not out of frustration. "I don't think I can again, so soon." She took the tube of gel from his hand and turned him around so that his back was to her. As she squeezed the gel into her hand, she kissed along his strong shoulder, and as far as she could reach up the side of his neck. Kathy was tall—5' 9" but not as tall as Elliot's even six feet. He groaned contentedly and leaned back against her. Kathy reached around to lather the soap onto his chest and stomach with long, slow strokes, starting a pattern of circling his nipples, also now erect and then sliding down to just above his penis before starting over again. After a few repetitions of this, she paused to squeeze more gel into her hand and then started lower. Without ever touching his penis, she soaped up his lower abdomen and thighs. Reaching even lower, she applied suds to his heavy testicles, and finally—she could feel him holding his breath—grasped his erection in her soapy hand.

"Kath, we don't have to…" he began, but she whispered shushing sounds into his ear as she began to stroke him in a slow, rhythmic pattern. Elliot groaned and reached out one arm to steady himself against the side of the shower stall. He leaned his head back against Kathy's shoulder and gave into the sensation of his wife ministering to him.

She continued the slow, lazy rhythm, with an occasional detour between his legs until she felt his breath begin to quicken and then she increased the speed. Elliot groaned as he climaxed, making his own contribution to the steam and soap suds on the glass shower door in front of him.

He turned quickly and pulled Kathy close to him, so tightly that she had trouble breathing. They stood clasped together under the spray of hot water, forehead to forehead.

"You make me feel like I AM seventeen again," he told her as he bent to kiss her softly on the lips. "I think seventeen was probably the last time I had a hand job…"

Kathy laughed and pushed at his chest, but he refused to let her go, slipping down to kiss her neck. "Now," he practically purred in her ear. "What can I do for you?"

"I still need time to recover from last night," she informed him. "How about a rain check for later, in that Jacuzzi?"

Elliot laughed and reached for the shampoo. He carefully lathered her hair and moved her under the spray to help her rinse. "You've got a deal."

* * *

They made it down for breakfast just as the grandfather clock in the hall struck 9:30. The table in the formal dining room was set for four and a couple was sitting at two of the place settings. Elliot wasn't thrilled at the thought of sharing a meal with strangers to begin with and felt his hackles rise when he got a closer look at the couple at the table. The man appeared to be in his early fifties, dressed in clothing that looked expensive. He sported several big gold rings on his fingers and a Rolex on his wrist. He projected arrogance. The woman next to him looked young enough to be his daughter, with teased blond hair, heavy make-up and a tight sweater that showed a lot of cleavage. Elliot sincerely doubted that she was his wife.

Melody came flying out of the kitchen as Elliot and Kathy took their places at the table. "Oh, hello, Mr. & Mrs. Stabler," she began. She was carrying a tray and Elliot jumped up to help her with it.

"Elliot and Kathy" he reminded her, taking the heavy tray and setting it down on the table. It held a coffee carafe, creamer and sugar, a bowl of freshly cut fruit and a plate of the cinnamon rolls she'd been working on when Elliot had spoken to her in the kitchen the night before.

"Why, thank you, Elliot," she said. "Have you two met the Brickman's yet?" She seemed a bit flustered and out of breath.

"No, we just got here," said Elliot, extending his hand to the older man. "Elliot Stabler and this is my wife, Kathy."

Brickman didn't bother to stand but stuck out his hand disinterestedly in Elliot's direction. "Jim Brickman. This is Mandy." His attention was focused on Melody. "So, what are you going to feed us here this morning? We haven't got all day."

Elliot sat back down in his chair and exchanged a glance with Kathy_. This is going to be a pleasant meal—not!_

Melody ignored his rude tone and listed off the options available for breakfast: eggs: any style, waffles, pancakes, French toast, a choice of bacon or sausage. "And while I'm cooking, you can start with coffee and cinnamon rolls, fresh from the oven."

Brickman started to rattle off his demands. "An omelet, one egg and two egg whites, DON'T use butter in the pan, whole wheat toast with butter on the side…." He stopped in mid-sentence and looked at Melody. "Aren't you going to write this down?"

She smiled at him. "I can remember," she said, lifting items off the tray and setting them on the table. She held the coffee carafe up and looked at Elliot and Kathy enquiringly. They both nodded and she began to fill their cups.

Brickman snorted in derision. "Well, you'd better get it right." Elliot looked at Kathy again. He could feel his blood pressure beginning to rise. _What a pompous ass!_

Melody took the rest of their orders and hurried back to the kitchen. She was definitely upset about something; Elliot wondered what had transpired before he and Kathy had arrived downstairs.

"So, where are you two from?" asked Kathy brightly, taking a cinnamon roll from the plate and passing it to Elliot. He took two, and offered it to the Brickman's. Jim ignored it and Mandy followed her lead and shook her head. The Stablers hadn't yet heard her speak. Brickman had instructed Melody to make her a duplicate of his breakfast.

"Manhattan," grunted Brickman, picking up his coffee cup and taking a noisy slurp. The young woman sitting next to him seemed to be really out of it, not in tune with her surroundings.

"We're from Queens," offered Kathy, "Elliot works in Manhattan."

Brickman eyed him. Elliot had dressed in faded, comfortable jeans and a dark blue sweater over a white t-shirt. He could practically hear the older man thinking: _Where could this clown possibly work in Manhattan?_

"NYPD," said Elliot casually. He wished Kathy hadn't offered up that bit of information, but it was too late now.

"Oh, you're a patrolman? What precinct?"

"Detective, actually, out of the one six."

Brickman nodded. "Don Cragen's squad?" He asked.

"Yes—do you know Cragen?" asked Elliot in surprise.

"We've crossed paths." Brickman answered without elaborating.

Elliot wasn't about to beg for more information, he'd ask Cragen how he knew this blowhole when he got back to work on Monday. In the meantime, he gave up on small talk and concentrated on the cinnamon rolls, which were warm, soft and delicious. Kathy reached for the bowl of fruit and spooned some into the bowl at his left, as if to remind him to include some of the healthier stuff in his meal. He ignored the fruit and reached for another cinnamon roll. At the rate they were going, he'd be working off enough calories this weekend.

Melody came back with another, heavier tray with their four meals. Again, Elliot jumped up to help her while Brickman sat on his behind, looking annoyed at having to wait.

"The cinnamon rolls are fantastic," Elliot told Melody as he sat back down.

She smiled at him as she set a plate in front of each person. "I'm glad you like them."

Brickman eyed his plate as if she'd set a pile of dog shit in front of him. "Are you sure this omelet only has one whole egg in it?" he asked in irritation. "This is too dark for just one yolk."

"Organic eggs," Melody explained, but her cheeks reddened and she looked as though she was ready to cry. "I buy them from the farmer up the road. The yolks are much yellower when the eggs are fresh."

Mandy was hunkered down in her chair as if expecting a blow up at any second. Elliot looked at the man in astonishment. _What was his problem?_

"Organic," huffed Brickman. "Just another word for unregulated. Who knows how safe these eggs are." He pushed the plate away without taking a bite. "Come on, Mandy, we'll go get breakfast in town at a real restaurant. You can refund part of our bill. " He directed the last comment at Melody and began to rise out of chair. Mandy was already out of hers and hovering behind him, waiting for him to lead the way.

"Wait just a minute," said Elliot, rising to his feet. He felt Kathy tugging on the hem of his sweater but he ignored her. "She went to all of this work making you exactly what you asked for and you're not even going to try it? She shouldn't owe you any refund!"

Brickman stared at him in shock. "Who in the hell do you think you are?" he asked, his face turning beet red. He obviously wasn't used to being confronted on anything. "Mind your own business, lover boy! We could hear you and your wife all the way down the hall last night."

Kathy turned crimson and looked down at her plate. Elliot saw crimson and moved toward the older man, flexing his hands. He got in his face and hissed: "I think you owe both Melody AND my wife an apology."

Brickman shoved Elliot hard, and before he could regain his balance, took a wild swing at him. His clumsy attempt bounced off Elliot's shoulder and struck him in the nose, which immediately began spurting blood. He moved forward and grabbed Brickman by the collar of his designer polo shirt, forcing him backwards into his chair. He got in his face and said in a low growl: "I think you owe these ladies an apology."

Melody and Mandy stood a few away, looking on in horror. Kathy sat motionless in her chair, her face now pale with shock.

"I'm not apologizing to anyone!" Brickman yelled. "And as soon as I get back to the city, Cragen is going to hear about this!"

"I'm the one bleeding, not you." Elliot snapped. "Would you like to be arrested for assaulting a police officer? Apologize to the ladies!"

Brickman shook free of Elliot's grasp and pushed to his feet. He glared at Melody and said, in as insincere a tone as was possible, "So SORRY for complaining about your cooking." He turned and grabbed Mandy roughly by the arm. "Come on—we're checking out of this hell hole."

Elliot stepped between him and the door. "Now, my wife." Brickman's face was as red as the building material for which he was named. He looked as though he might implode.

"So SORRY, Mrs. Stabler," he hissed without even looking at Kathy and left the room, dragging a frightened looking Mandy behind him.

There was a moment of stunned silence and everyone began talking at once.

"Elliot, are you al…" began Kathy.

"You're bleeding! Let me get a cloth," said Melody, disappearing into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry!" Elliot said to Kathy when Melody left the room. "I know-I should have just let it go…"

Kathy took a step forward and pulled him close for a hug—being careful to avoid his bloody nose. "I think you were awesome," she said into his ear. "That guy was a real asshole."

Elliot smiled and hugged her back. He was so used to Kathy ragging on him for losing his temper; this new attitude was a nice change.

Melody returned with a wet face cloth and handed it to Kathy, who began dabbing at Elliot's nose. She sat him down in a chair and cleaned his face. "I don't think it's broken," she said, stepping back to take a look. Elliot ran his finger down the bridge of his nose and winced.

"No, I don't think so either," he sighed. "Not this time."

"You were amazing," said Melody. "That man has been insufferable since they got here two days ago. And he had no business saying what he did about noise from your rooms—their suite was at the other end of the hall. But I found him standing outside your door, listening, when I went up to get your tray last night."

Kathy turned to Elliot with a wide-eyed look. She was relieved to know they hadn't been so loud they could be heard down the hall, but the thought of someone listening as they made love was just…_creepy._

"Do you have his credit card on file?' asked Elliot. Melody nodded. "You be sure to charge him for every cent he owes you. And give me his address before we leave—if he tries to contest the charges, I'll pay him a visit myself."

Melody stepped over to Elliot's chair and gave him a big hug. "Well, you sure came along at the right time, Elliot. First the Taylors, now this….I can't thank you enough. I'll start with some fresh coffee and then we'll see about getting you fed." She took the coffee carafe off the table and disappeared back into the kitchen.

A few seconds, the Brickman's came stomping down the stairs and passed by the dining room, suitcases in tow. Brickman didn't even glance in at them as they flew by, just barked at Mandy to hurry up. Elliot and Kathy looked at each other and grinned.

"You sure know how to clear a room," laughed Kathy, dabbing a spot of blood that had dripped on his sweater.

"Or a whole B&B," Elliot agreed. He picked up his cold cup of coffee and took a sip. "Here's to a peaceful rest of the weekend."


	45. Chapter 45

Saturday

Kathy and Elliot went back up to their room to clean up. Melody had insisted on preparing them another breakfast that so their food would be fresh; they'd insisted that she sit down and join them. They'd spent a leisurely hour chatting while they ate. Melody told them about the challenges of running a B&B.

"Most of the people who come here are wonderful," she'd said. "Every now and then, we get one like…"

"Mr. Personality." Elliot laughed, gingerly touching his nose. "You should have tossed him out on his butt as soon as he got here."

"I can't imagine he'd even want to come back," said Melody. "But if he tries, he'll find that there's no room at the inn." She shared a few funny stories of other guests that had been blacklisted from returning.

Back in their room, Elliot went to the bathroom to clean any remaining traces of blood off his face. His nose was red and slightly swollen at the bridge, but there was no sign of bruising.

"Do you think you should see a doctor?" asked Kathy, as she watched him from the door.

"Nah, I'll be fine." He assured her. "This is what happens when you have such a big target on your face."

Kathy laughed and placed a gentle kiss on his nose. "I happen to be very fond of that target."

They decided to take a drive up to the village of Woodstock as planned and started gathering up what they'd need to be gone for the day.

"Should we call Olivia and see how the kids are doing before we go?" asked Kathy when she saw Elliot clipping his cell phone to his belt.

"They're probably at the soccer game," said Elliot. "I told her we'd call tonight." He saw the look on Kathy's face and went on: "She'll just think we're checking up on her. I'm sure they're fine; she would call us if there were any problems."

"I guess you're right," Kathy sighed, picking up her purse and jacket. "It just feels strange to be away from them for so long."

* * *

Olivia and the kids were indeed at the soccer game, the morning had gone much smoother than she had expected. Now Olivia sat on the lowest bleacher, Eli asleep in his stroller next to her, watching the game and soaking up the fall sunshine. Lizzie had stayed with her for a few minutes, and then wandered off with some friends, promising to be back before the game was over. Dickie's team was winning, but other than that Olivia had no idea what was going on. She wasn't really a sports person.

Eli had woken at the crack of dawn as Elliot had warned her. Liv was an early riser herself and had no problem getting up with the baby. The look of surprise on his little face when she came to get him out of his crib was priceless, but he allowed her to pick him up without a fuss. He stared at her face intently while she changed his diaper, as if trying to recall how he knew her. When she picked him up again, he snuggled contentedly into her shoulder and waited patiently while she went downstairs to warm him up a bottle. She settled down on the couch and watched an early morning news show while he drank his bottle.

Eli had fallen asleep on the ride to the school, and hadn't woken up when Olivia transferred him to the stroller that Lizzie had retrieved from the back of the van.

"Does he usually take a nap in the morning?" Olivia asked his sister, frowning slightly. She didn't remember any mention of it on the very detailed schedule Kathy had left. His cheeks looked flushed but she supposed that was because she had bundled him up so well. She unzipped a few inches of his fleece jacket and untied his hat.

Lizzie shrugged. "I don't know; I'm usually at school. He's probably just tired."

Olivia was trying to follow the game—Dickie had the ball and it looked as though he might be about to score a goal—when she noticed two women approaching. She'd heard them cheering on the team and figured they must be parents of some of Dickie's teammates.

"Hi," said one as they walked up to her, peering at Eli in his stroller. "Is Kathy sick?"

"No," answered Olivia, shading her eyes with her hand so she could get a good look at her face. "Kathy and Elliot are away for the weekend, I'm staying with the kids. I'm Olivia."

"Oh, how nice for them," said the second woman. "Are you a relative?"

"I'm Elliot's partner," Olivia answered, starting to feel as if she were being interrogated. "In the Special Victims Unit" she quickly added, to be sure they didn't interpret "partner" in some other way.

"Really!" They both gave her an appraising look. Olivia could see the wheels turning in their head and wished she'd said nothing. She could just hear the gossip that would be making the rounds and was beginning to understand why Elliot worked so hard to keep his work and home life separate.

"And you are?" she asked, giving them her most charming smile. She had one hand on the handle of Eli's stroller and began to gently glide it back and forth. What she wanted to do was pull badge and tell them to get out of her face but she didn't imagine that was the best option. They introduced themselves as mothers of Dickie's teammates. One of them had picked up Dickie earlier that morning for the pre-game warm up. Olivia filed the names away to ask Elliot about later.

"So, you're a cop?" said Barbara, the shorter of the two.

"Detective, actually," answered Olivia, trying to peer around her to watch the game. Neither of them took the hint and instead, took seats on the bleachers next to her.

"I bet you see some terrible cases," said the one who'd introduced herself as Kendall.

"Sometimes," answered Olivia shortly. She realized that these two weren't going to go away and stood up abruptly. "It was nice meeting you. I'm going to take a walk around the field and find Lizzie."

"Oh, I saw her over at the concession stand with the other girls," laughed Barbara. "They're fine!"

Olivia smiled, said goodbye and kept going, walking the strollers slowly around the perimeter of the field. She saw Lizzie at the snack stand, but kept walking, not wanting to embarrass her.

"Olivia!" She heard Lizzie call behind her, and turned to see her walking up walking up with three girls in tow, all looking identical with their long hair, fleece jackets and sheepskin boots. "I want you to meet my friends." She rattled off the girls names and told them "This is Olivia, my dad's partner. She's staying with us for the weekend."

The girls looked at her, seemingly awed to be in the presence of a female police officer. Olivia smiled at them. "It's nice to meet you girls," she said. "Do you play soccer too?"

It turned out that two of them did and the third was in band with Lizzie. The girls accompanied Liv as she walked around the field. She smiled as she listened to them chatter. It had been a long time since she'd been around a teenager that wasn't in the middle of some terrible crisis.

When the game ended, she and Lizzie headed back to the van to wait for Dickie, accompanied by Bethany and Alex, whom Lizzie had talked her into letting come home with them for the afternoon. The third girl, Mackenzie, had reluctantly left to go keep a prior commitment.

Eli finally woke up when Olivia lifted him out of the stroller. He wailed miserably when he saw her and looked around as if wanting anyone but her, a stark contrast to his earlier easy acceptance. She put a hand to his bright red cheeks—they felt warm, much warmer than they should be after an hour outside.

"Hey, what's wrong, little guy?" she crooned, putting him up to her shoulder. He continued to cry and twist away from her. She buckled him gently into his car seat and searched in the diaper bag for a bottle of apple juice which he pushed it away when she held it up to his lips. Lizzie climbed into the van next to him and tried to comfort him.

"It's ok, Eli," she soothed. "We're going home now." She began to sing to him, a medley of nursery rhymes and nonsense sounds; when her two friends joined in, Eli began to look interested and stopped crying. He reluctantly accepted the bottle of juice from his sister and began drinking, his big blue eyes fixed on the singing girls.

It didn't take Dickie long to join them, climbing into the front seat of the van next to Olivia. "Oh, no, not you two," he groaned when he saw his sister's friends. They giggled and kept singing. "Tell me they're not coming home with us?" he asked Olivia.

She looked at him; eyebrows raised and began pulling out of the parking lot.

* * *

Back at the house, the girls disappeared inside, promising to start lunch. Dickie helped her carry all of the baby's paraphernalia inside, chattering away about his game as they walked. Eli was fussing again, twisting away from Olivia and rubbing at his eyes and ears.

"Can you get me the thermometer?" Olivia asked Dickie as she set the baby down on the couch and began removing his jacket. It was like trying to wrestle a wild animal; he wanted nothing to do with her. Dickie came back with a strange looking device.

"What is that?" asked Olivia.

"Haven't you ever seen an ear thermometer?" Dickie asked, looking at her in surprise. He expertly scooped his little brother up off the couch and settled him on his lap, giving him the cover to the device to examine as a diversion. He pressed a button, put the tip in Eli's ear and waited for the beep. He frowned and showed Olivia the readout.

"102" she read. "Oh, great."

"I bet he's got another ear infection," said Dickie, deftly substituting one of Eli's toys for the cover to the thermometer. He handed the baby back to Olivia and went to put the thermometer away. "Just call 's office; he'll probably want you to bring him in."

"On a Saturday?" asked Olivia. Now that Dickie mentioned it, she had noticed Eli pulling on his ear in the van as he drank his bottle. "Should I call your parents first?"

"If you call Mom, she'll freak and want to come home," said Dickie. For the first time, Olivia noticed that his voice had changed and was taking on a deeper timbre. He wasn't a little boy anymore. "And then Dad will be disappointed. Call Dr. Furst and see what he says." He held out his arms for the baby. "I'll keep him while you call." She realized that he knew how important this weekend was for his parents. It had been hard on all of the Stabler's when Kathy and Elliot had been separated.

"Okay," said Olivia hesitantly, handing the baby over. Her first instinct was to call Elliot and demand that he get his ass back here to deal with this himself, but she knew Dickie was right. Why ruin their weekend if it was something minor that she could handle? _I can do this. _She told herself as she took the phone over to the refrigerator and looked at Kathy's list of emergency numbers, the same list she'd been laughing about the day before. _I can handle this_.

_How will Kathy react to Olivia not calling her? Stay tuned. Review, please!_


	46. Chapter 46

Idyllic

It was a perfect fall day, sunny and mild. Elliot and Kathy drove back down Route 28 to get to Woodstock, passing the point where they'd found Louise Taylor on the side of the road on Friday night. Melody had updated them that morning after breakfast on Taylor: he was in serious, but stable condition in the hospital—and had grudgingly agreed that it was time to pay to have a phone line run to their cabin.

Elliot pointed out a restaurant as they drove by as the place where he'd made reservations for their anniversary dinner that night.

"You really thought of everything, didn't you?" marveled Kathy. She was beginning to see her stoic husband in a whole new light. In the past, he'd always left any travel arrangements to her. It was refreshing to see what he was capable of when he put his mind to it, and it gave her a warm rush of pride to know he had cared enough to step outside of his comfort zone to make this weekend perfect.

In full daylight, the beauty of the area was even more astounding. The road wound through heavily forested areas with mountains looming behind. The trees were in full splendor, a riotous mix of red, yellow and orange. For a couple used to the hustle and bustle of city life, the wilderness, broken only by occasional houses and small villages, was mesmerizing. Elliot was so busy looking at the scenery that he almost missed the turn that would take them to Route 40 into Woodstock.

As they got closer, Kathy consulted the brochure that Melody had given them before leaving the B&B and read bits out loud to her husband. The infamous music festival had not been held in the actual village of Woodstock, but at a farm in a neighboring town about 45 miles away. Still, the community was known as a Mecca for the arts, and for the many famous musicians who resided there over the years, including Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix and David Bowie.

"Oh wow, "she said, still reading from the brochure. "Remember that Ashokan Reservoir that we passed on the way up Friday night? That was built in the early 1900's to provide water for the city, and they flooded a bunch of villages when they put the dam in—some of the buildings are still under there."

"And that's where our drinking water comes from?" asked Elliot skeptically. "Are there bodies under there too?"

"I sure hope not." Kathy laughed. "Really makes a case for drinking water filters, doesn't it?"

Still full from breakfast, they decided to park the car and walk through the picturesque village. Elliot found a spot on a side street and after locking up the car, they headed back to the main street. It was warm enough to leave their jackets in the car.

"It's certainly…um, a colorful place," commented Elliot as they passed a purple bench. Every store, restaurant and building was decorated in a way to catch the attention of those who passed by, with brightly painted exteriors, artistic displays in windows and whimsical structures in the lawns.

"I'm sensing a theme here," said Kathy, after the third guitar-shaped sculpture they passed.

In the middle of the main street was a small green area, with benches and tables. A man stood on the sidewalk, frozen in an awkward pose with his hands raised in the air and to his side. He remained that way for a few minutes, then changed to another position and held that, all the while totally oblivious to the people passing him by with curious looks.

"Living sculpture?" Kathy guessed.

They began browsing through the many shops, entering any that caught their interest. Normally, Elliot hated shopping; he liked to be busy at a something more productive, but he found himself relaxing and enjoying the moment. It felt great to be away from the city, out of cop mode and to be spending time, alone, with his wife. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel like a detective or a father or a home owner—just a husband. It was nice.

Many of the items in the stores were way out of their price range, but it was fun to look. Kathy found some unusual toys for Eli and Elliot picked out some tie-died t-shirts for the twins.

"We should bring something back for Olivia," Kathy suggested. Elliot noticed her glance at her watch as she said it, and knew she was resisting the urge to call home and check on the kids.

"Good idea," he said and pointed to the next store that sold wine and wine-related paraphernalia.

"Do you have any idea what she likes?" asked Kathy as they entered the dimly lit store.

"Not a clue," admitted Elliot. When they went out after work, she usually drank mixed drinks, but he remembered well the two bottles of wine she and Kathy had put away a few weeks ago at dinner.

The store clerk guided them to some wines from local vineyards and helped them pick a few bottles—one for Olivia and some for them to try when they were back home. Given a choice, Elliot would take a cold beer over wine any day, but he'd been making an effort to try what his wife liked and found that he enjoyed some wines. Kathy picked out some wine glass charms and a unique insulated bag for keeping the bottle cool to put together as a gift package for Olivia.

They took their bags outside to the green and sat down on one of the purple benches. Elliot tipped his head back and closed his eyes, savoring the warm sunshine on his face.

"How's your nose?" asked Kathy, taking a closer look. Faint purple bruising was beginning to show across the bridge. It picked up the blue in his eyes and made him look even sexier.

"Sore," he admitted, feeling along the bridge. Kathy leaned over to plant another gentle kiss on the injured area. Elliot smiled and pulled her over so she was leaning across his lap, her face tipped up to his. He bent to kiss her.

"Hey, old dudes! Get a room!" called a kid as he sped by on a scooter. Kathy laughed and pushed herself upright. Elliot pretended to look around in confusion.

"How did Dickie get here?" he asked, grinning. He smiled at his wife, who was giggling like a school girl. She looked the most relaxed had seen her in a long time, like the girl whom he'd fallen in love with at first sight so many years ago. He reached over to stroke her long blonde hair—not as long as she'd worn it when they met in high school, but she never cut it very short, knowing how he preferred it. In general, she hadn't changed much over the years. A few laugh lines around her blue eyes and she was thinner—maybe too thin—he always worried that she ran herself ragged with the kids and didn't take the time to eat herself. He pulled her close again and she rested her head against his shoulder, his arm around her.

"We need to do things like this more often," she sighed, reaching out to lace her fingers through his other hand. Elliot murmured his agreement.

After a few minutes they decided to find a restaurant with outdoor seating to take advantage of the warm weather and have something light to eat before heading back to the B&B to get ready for their dinner reservation. Kathy picked a small café that featured local and organic foods, which Elliot was happy to agree to once he saw that they served beer as well. Organic beer was better than nothing, he supposed.

Kathy looked at her watch again. "Do you think it would be okay to call the kids now?" she asked. "I noticed that the cell coverage was pretty spotty between here and the B&B." Elliot laughed and handed her his phone.

"Hi, Lizzie, it's Mom. How's everything going?" Elliot sipped his beer and watched as she chatted with their daughter. He sat up as her pretty face darkened in a frown.

"What do you mean, Olivia's taken him to the hospital?"


	47. Chapter 47

Crisis Averted

Lizzie did her best to calm her mother down. "Mom, don't get all crazy on me! Eli was pulling on his ears and had a fever. So Olivia called Dr. Furst and he said to meet them at the hospital clinic ONLY because he was there already with another patient and it would be quicker than going back to his office." She held the phone away from her ear as her mother barraged her with more questions.

"She wanted to see the doc find out what was wrong with him before she called you." She told her mother calmly. "You know it's probably just another ear infection and there's no sense in you and Dad cutting your weekend short for that. He'll be fine." She listened for a few more minutes and then asked: "Is Dad there? Can I talk to him for a minute?"

Elliot got on the line and she heaved a sigh of relief. She loved her mother, but she could get…intense at times. "Listen Dad, everything's fine here, really. Eli was just a little cranky so Olivia took his temperature. It was, I don't know, like 101 so she called Dr. Furst. He even said on the phone it was probably just another ear infection, but he wanted to see him to be sure before he gave him any medicine. Dick went with her to help her out and I'm here with Bethany and Alex….yes, Dad-Olivia said it was okay if they came over."

She listened to her father. "Call her cell phone if you want, but I know she was gonna call you guys as soon as she knew anything. Don't freak out, okay? We've got everything under control. Olivia's cool. And you and Mom should stay and have a good time."

* * *

Elliot flipped his cell phone shut and looked at his wife. She was on the edge of her seat, looking like she was ready to get up and bolt for the car.

"Kath," he said, slowly and gently. "We can head right home if you want, but I think we should wait until Liv calls and see what she says. If it's just another ear infection, there's no point of us rushing back."

Kathy looked at him, her blue eyes frantic and almost pleading. She took a deep sigh, and a sip of her wine. "You're right," she said after a long moment. "I'm sure they can handle it. It's just so hard to not be there when they need me, you know?"

Elliot reached out and covered her hand with his. "I do know. It's eating at me too, but I think we should wait and see what Liv says. After all she's done for us, I don't want her to think we don't trust her." Kathy nodded. "And besides," he went on, with an evil grin. "This is just what Liv needs, to see what it's really like to be a parent—the good and the bad. "

Kathy laughed in spite of herself. "You are evil," she chided. She took another sip of her wine. "Okay, let's wait until Olivia calls and see what she says." She looked around, at the café, the street, the other people. "I'd hate to have to leave early anyway. It's so nice being alone with you for a change."

* * *

Dickie scooped Eli up from the exam table while Olivia gathered up the diaper bag and his jacket. "What's with you and these ear infections?" he asked his little brother. Eli was in much better spirits since the ibuprofen had kicked in and lowered his fever; he had only cried when the doctor used the otoscope to examine his ears.

Dr Furst handed Olivia two prescriptions. "You can fill these at the pharmacy down the hall." He instructed. "I'm sure they have the Stabler's insurance information on file. " He had already given her the instructions on how to administer the oral antibiotic and drops to alleviate the pain and instructions to have Kathy call the office to schedule a follow-up appointment.

"Thank you so much for seeing us," Olivia said to him. "So…you're sure he's going to be okay? Should his parents come home?"

"He'll be fine," he assured her, reaching out to ruffle Eli's hair. "Young kids are amazingly resilient. He'll be feeling better after a dose or two of the antibiotic. In the meantime, give him liquid ibuprofen every 4-6 hours to keep his fever down and keep him comfortable." He smiled at Dickie. "It appears that you have lots of good help."

Olivia agreed. "That I do." Dickie had been great, showing her the way to the hospital and helping with the baby. She wasn't sure she would have been able to manage it all on her own.

As they waited outside the pharmacy for the prescriptions, Dickie's cell phone pinged. He shifted Eli to his hip and pulled it out of his pocket to check his text message.

"It's from Lizzie," he said, frowning. "Mom called and she knows about Eli. Lizzie said she's freaking out and waiting for you to call."

Olivia sighed. She wasn't looking forward to calling Kathy; she had wanted to get everyone back home and settled so she could gather her thoughts before making that call. The last thing she wanted was for them to cut their weekend short because they thought she couldn't cope.

"Guess I'd better get this over with," she said, pulling out her own phone. "You okay with him for a minute?" Dickie nodded, so she took her phone over by the entrance where the reception was better. Taking a deep breath, she dialed Elliot's cell.

"Hey, Liv," he answered after the first ring. "What's up with our boy?" Before she could say anything, he added "I'm putting you on speaker phone so Kathy can hear too."

"Well, I guess you already know I took Eli to see the doctor," she began. She explained the events of the day and what Dr. Furst had said and prescribed.

"How's Eli acting now?" asked Kathy. "Do you want us to come home?"

"That's up to you, Kathy," Olivia answered. "But really, we're fine. As soon as the ibuprofen kicked in, he was back to his usual cheery self. The doctor said he'll be feeling much better once he's had a dose or two of the medicine."

"He does always bounce back quickly," Kathy agreed, somewhat hesitantly. "Are the twins helping you?"

"They've been great," Olivia assured her. "And Dickie's team won their soccer game—do you want to talk to him? He's right here." Olivia waved Dickie over and took the baby from him so he could talk to his parents. The pharmacist was waving to indicate that the scripts were ready, so she walked over to sign for them and give him some privacy. Within a few minutes, he was back at her side, grinning broadly.

"They're going to stay." He said. "I was sure Mom would freak out and make Dad come back. But they said we have to call them if he's really cranky or we have any problems."

Olivia felt like she had passed some kind of test and felt inordinately proud of herself. "Let's get this little guy home and figure out what we're having for dinner." She said, grinning back at him.

* * *

Elliot closed the phone and looked at his wife, a slow smile spreading across his face. He partially stood so he could lean across the table to kiss her. "I'm proud of you," he said softly.

"We've been putting the kids first for years," she said simply. "I think it's time we took care of the two of us now and then. And besides…." Her eyes took on a mischievous twinkle. "I'm not leaving without checking out that Jacuzzi."


	48. Chapter 48

Climax

When the Stablers arrived back at the B&B at about 4:30, Elliot noticed that Melody's Jeep was gone from its customary spot by the barn. A light blue Prius was parked in the circle in front of the house.

"I wonder if she has new guests?" he commented to Kathy as they walked up the stairs to the front entrance. As soon as they entered the front hallway, a young woman came out of the kitchen to greet them. She had short, spiky bleached blond hair, a pierced nose and wore torn, faded blue jeans.

"You must be the Stablers," she said, smiling at them. "I'm Katrina, Melody's niece. She had a date this evening and asked me to fill in while she's gone, you know, answer the phone and stuff. So if you need anything, just let me know."

"Nice to meet you, Katrina." Said Kathy. She took in the young woman's appearance with a smile. She could so easily see Kathleen adopting this kind of look in a few years. Hopefully not the piercing—that would be enough to send Elliot through the roof.

"Is her date with Trooper Johnson, by any chance?" asked Elliot, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

Katrina gave him an appraising look. "You know Ben? And yes, it is. He's had the hots for her for years. She finally agreed to go out with him."

Elliot chuckled. He was glad to know that he had correctly intuited the officer's intentions the night before when he'd escorted them to the Inn. _A cop's gut is rarely wrong_.

* * *

Up in their room, Elliot kicked off his shoes and flopped back on the bed. "We have time for a nap before dinner," he said, patting the spot next to him.

Kathy laughed. "Funny, you don't look tired." She dropped her jacket and purse in the armchair by the door and moved to the side of the bed to look down at her husband. "Why do I suspect ulterior motives?"

Elliot looked up at her with an innocent expression and patted the bed again. Kathy took off her own shoes and curled up beside him, her head on his broad chest. She put one hand on his stomach and inhaled the essence that was her husband. He smelled like soap and the fresh air they'd been in all afternoon. She could hear and feel the thumping of his strong heart as it beat in his chest. She closed her eyes and snuggled in closer. Elliot always made her feel safe and….wanted. For all of the rough times they'd had, when they were too angry to speak to each other or he was gone long hours and she was ready to pull her hair out from worry and taking care of the kids alone-she always knew that she was important to him. Whatever his other faults, she had never doubted that he loved her, and the kids—and ultimately, that was what had given her the courage to attempt reconciling last year. A decision that seems to have been the best one she ever made, second only to marrying him in the first place.

Elliot put his arm around her as she lay curled against his side and rested his chin on the top of head. He heard her breathing go soft and shallow and knew she had fallen asleep. He smiled, and closed his own eyes.

* * *

When he woke again, the room was dark, lit only by the light coming from the partially closed bathroom door. He could hear water running and realized that Kathy was gone from his side and must be filling the Jacuzzi. He grinned—she certainly was looking forward to trying that thing out. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was after six. Their dinner reservation was for 7. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number he'd programmed in for the restaurant, stepping out into the sitting room as he asked to move their reservation back an hour. The hostess of The Inn Between, the place that Melody had recommended when he first made reservations at the B&B, was happy to accommodate his request.

He stripped down to his boxers, tossing his clothes over the seat of a chair. Walking over to the bathroom, he pushed the door open and saw Kathy in the big tub, an expression of bliss on her face as the warm water bubbled around her. She grinned when she saw him.

"Come join me," she invited, but then, before he could take a step: "Oh, but first—go get your iPod."

Elliot raised his eyebrows but did as she instructed. He brought the small device into the bathroom and managed to turn it on by himself. From the tub, Kathy instructed him in how to select a playlist and soon the soft strains of Kenny G playing "You're Beautiful" filled the small room.

"Dickie almost gagged, but he helped me put together a playlist of mood music," she told him. "I probably scarred him for life."

"I'll be scarred for life if Fin and Munch ever hear this playlist," joked Elliot, but he wasn't really thinking about his co-workers. His eyes took in the image of his wife, naked under the bubbling water. Her blond hair was pinned up in a knot on top of her head. She looked relaxed—and beautiful. He stepped out of his boxers and joined her, sitting down opposite her in the tub.

It was an amazing sensory experience. The water was warm and the jets cascaded across the lower half of his body. He could imagine coming home after a long day of work and relaxing like this.

"We might need to get one of these," he groaned, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. From the other side of the tub, Kathy stretched out her long legs and twined them with his. She ran one foot gently up the inside of his leg. Elliot opened one eye to look at her. She smiled at him, an impish smile that promised more to come. Kathy moved across the tub to Elliot. He sat up straighter on the bench seat on his side and took her into his arms as she straddled his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against his.

"If we had one of these, we'd never get out of it, and then what would happen to the kids?" She bent to kiss him, softly at first, and then with more urgency. Her wet, bare breasts were pressed against his chest and Elliot felt himself swell and grow hard against her stomach. He slipped a hand down between their bodies and began to caress her in the way he knew she liked, at first gently, teasingly, gradually increasing the pressure. She sighed and rested her forehead against his again. Her breath came in warm puffs against his cheek and knowing that he that she was aroused made him even harder. He slipped his other hand up to cup her breast, circling the nipple with his thumb. Kathy moaned softly and took the lobe of his ear gently between her teeth.

"I want you inside me," she whispered into his ear, nuzzling his neck. "Please, right now…." . He put his hands on her hips and slid her back. She reached down to grasp him and now it was his turn to groan as she guided him inside her.

They remained still for a moment, savoring the sensations. Warm water swirled around to cover them from the waist down. Their wet torsos pressed against each other; they were as joined as two bodies could possibly be. Kathy put her arms around her husband's neck and began to move, slowly, sliding up the glorious length of him and down again. Elliot groaned again and buried his face in her neck, kissing along her collar bone as she increased the pace.

The water from the tub began to splash over the edge. Neither of them cared about the mess it was making, but now the water was interfering, slowing them down. Elliot stood, holding his wife as easily as one of his children, and moved so that they were balanced on the wide wooden side of the tub, turning so that Kathy was underneath him. She leaned back to balance on her arms as Elliot took over.

He could tell that she was close to orgasm when she tipped her head back and closed her eyes. He kissed her chin, keeping up the steady rhythm that was taking her to the edge. "Look at me, "he said hoarsely, "I want to see you." Kathy opened her eyes and struggled to focus her gaze on her husband. Light blue eyes locked with deeper blue and he watched their depths as she slipped over the edge and into bliss. At the end, she couldn't help it and closed her eyes, but it was enough for him. He followed right behind her.

They slipped, spent, back into the tub, this time side by side. Elliot slid down, so that he was submerged to the neck. "We have definitely got to get one of these…"

* * *

_Okay, so finally got to the Jacuzzi scene. I hope I did it justice! I am going to be wrapping this story up in the next few chapters and moving on to a great new idea I have for the Stabler's-one that involves Liv-in a good way. (No, not a threesome!) Stay tuned!_


	49. Chapter 49

**_Wasn't marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded? Wasn't it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt?_**

**_EDNA FERBER_**

Renewal

Kathy and Elliot made it to the restaurant in time for their later reservation, but just barely. They'd dressed and decided to call the kids before they left since it would be too late when they got back. Kathy was relieved to hear that Eli was feeling much better. Lizzie had talked Olivia into letting her friends spend the night and they were helping to keep him entertained. Dickie had gone to his room and locked the door to get away from all of the "girly action." It sounded like a typical night in the Stabler household.

The restaurant was a ten minute drive from the B&B, set up on a hill off the highway. It was a rustic looking building with an outdoor deck and Elliot wondered if it was going to be the right choice for a romantic dinner. The parking lot was packed—always a good sign—and once they were inside, he knew Melody's recommendation was perfect. The bar was as rustic as the outside, decorated like a hunting cabin with exposed wooden beams and stuffed specimens on the walls.

"Eli would love these," commented Kathy, as she passed by a large moose head staring at her with glassy eyes.

The restaurant, however, was more elegant, comprised of several rooms of seating options, decorated with lovely examples of work by local artists. The hostess showed them to a small table next to a large window overlooking a scenic view of a small river. Their waitress appeared immediately to take their drink orders and left them with menus to look over.

"That waitress was so definitely checking you out," teased Kathy after the girl had brought them their drinks and taken their orders. She looked at her husband across the table. He looked relaxed, happy and very handsome, in a blue sports jacket over a pin- striped dress shirt, open at the neck. The blue of the shirt brought out the deep shades in his eyes. Elliot never cared what he wore, so she was the one who picked out most of his clothes and she selfishly made sure to pick colors that highlighted those gorgeous eyes—blues, grays and greens.

"Oh, right," laughed Elliot. "I'm sure she's checking out a guy old enough to be her father." He had, in fact, noticed that the young woman had spent twice as much time on him-arranging his glass and napkin on the table, pouring his beer for him and double checking the details of his order. He was flattered, who wouldn't be?—but not interested. "Besides, I only have eyes for you."

Kathy groaned at his corny remark, but appreciated the sentiment. Her ex-Marine husband wasn't always comfortable with giving compliments, and she'd take whatever she could get.

Elliot raised his glass and said "Happy Anniversary, babe." She tapped her own glass of wine against his and smiled.

"It's been a great anniversary, Elliot." She said softly, looking into his eyes. She reached across the table and took his left hand in hers. She rubbed her thumb across his wedding ring, the one he'd never taken off, not for the whole time they were separated. She'd removed hers when she started divorce proceedings, but Elliot, well, he was stubborn, and didn't do anything until he was good and ready. She was glad he hadn't given up on them. "I'm so happy that we're even celebrating this anniversary. It didn't look good for us for awhile there, did it?"

Elliot turned his wrist so that he was holding her hand. He gripped it tightly. "No, it didn't. I was a pig-headed ass…."

"And I was ready to give up." Kathy stated simply. She couldn't go back and undo the past, and really, she wasn't sure if she would if she had the opportunity. It had been a hellish time in their marriage. Elliot was distant and angry, away most of the time, irritable with her and the kids when he was home. He refused to talk about what was going on with him. At the time, she felt she had no choice but to leave. The kids couldn't grow up under that cloud of tension. Nothing else had seemed to get through to him. And then, once she made that move, he was even angrier and more distant.

"Maybe we needed that time apart," said Elliot, still holding her hand. "I think it made us both realize what we stood to lose if we didn't work at things."

Kathy gave him a rueful smile. "It sure did. Thank goodness we both got that message before it was too late."

"I was so angry with you," confessed Elliot. "I felt like you'd given up on me, given up on us. I couldn't see beyond that to figure out what I needed to do."

"What matters is that we're both here now," said Kathy. She felt tears start to come to her eyes and blinked them away. This was a night for celebrating, not re-hashing the hurts of past. "We've got our beautiful baby boy and our family, and each other."

The waitress arrived with their meals, again, taking extra pains with Elliot's food and giving Kathy minimal attention. Elliot grinned at his wife across the table as she mimed stabbing the girl with her fork when her back was turned.

The food looked delicious and they were both quiet for a few minutes as they sampled and tasted. After a bit, Kathy set down her fork.

"I feel like I have to say this, Elliot." He looked up at her, a bite of steak poised before his mouth, and set it back down. "I just want you to know, I realize how hard you've been trying to change and make things work since we got back together. I know that we're probably still going to have some rough patches, everyone does, but now I know that we can get through them. "

"You've done some changing yourself, babe." He said, in reply, taking her hand again. "I appreciate how you try to understand my job and accept my crazy schedule. And…" He hesitated for a minute, not sure how to phrase the next part. Kathy cocked her head at him, curious to know what was making him stumble. "…I'm glad that you and Olivia seem to be getting along better. After you and the kids, Liv is the next most important person in my life and I hated it when…." Again, he hesitated.

"When I was a jealous bitch?" Kathy laughed. Elliot shrugged. "You can say it. I resented Olivia for a long time. Every time things were tense between us, I blamed it on her and your job." She shrugged. "It's hard on the ego when your husband is away long hours with another woman—a drop dead gorgeous woman, may I add- especially when I felt tired and worn out from being with the kids all of the time."

"Kathy, you've always been beautiful to me," said Elliot emphatically. "Liv can't hold a candle to that. You're the mother of my children. Nothing can top that."

"I know that—now." Said Kathy simply.

They went back to eating their meals, glancing up every now and then to exchange smiles and comment on the food. Elliot's perky waitress friend checked in on them often to see if there was anything else they needed. They ordered coffee and chose a dessert to share and lingered at the table, talking, long after they'd finished it. Finally, Elliot asked for the bill, being sure to leave the waitress a good tip for her flattering if misguided efforts.

On their way out of the restaurant, they stopped on the deck to take one last look at the view.

"Look at that moon," sighed Kathy, leaning back into Elliot and gazing up. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. It was cooler out, and their combined breaths showed up in the air in front of them like mist.

The moon was, indeed, beautiful, just short of being full. Its luster was reflected off the surface of the river that would wound through the trees below them.

"I just had an idea," Elliot said, his breath warm in her ear. "What if we had one of those, what do they call them—a recommitment ceremony, you know, where people take their wedding vows again." He laughed. "It's a good excuse for a party."

Kathy turned to face him. She put her hands up to either side of his face and looked him in the eye. "That's a sweet idea, Els," she said softly. "And we can do that, if you really want to. But you know—I feel like that's what we've been doing all weekend here, isn't it? Committing to each other again? I don't need to do it in front of other people. You're the only one who matters."

Elliot looked down at his wife and chuckled softly. "I guess you're right."

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this story, which turned out to be much longer than I originally expected. I especially appreciate those of you who are E/O shippers who read this and didn't throw darts!**

**I hope to start a new story soon that involves Elliot, Kathy—and Olivia, with a twist that should please (somewhat) even the E/O shippers. (and no, it's not going to involve a three-way!)**


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